


In Her Backseat

by lmontyy



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boxing, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, College AU, Crush at First Sight, Ellie - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Fights, Fist Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Light BDSM, Long, Love Triangles, Mild Sexual Content, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Roommates, School, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Sports, The Last of Us - Freeform, University, University AU, Unresolved Romantic Tension, dina - Freeform, dina tlou, ellie williams, its cliche but its cute, the last of us part 2 - Freeform, the last of us part ii
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 86,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmontyy/pseuds/lmontyy
Summary: Ellie's acceptance into the University of Eastern Colorado might just be one of the best things that's ever happened to her. She's out of her element, her friends are crazy, and her roommate is hot. It might just also be one of the messiest things that's ever happened to her, too.[COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY AU]
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 244
Kudos: 683





	1. Laser Lights

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! Welcome to my first multi-chapter fic!! I felt as though this subject could not be crammed into one single one-shot, so we're gonna make it extra special! Chapter 1 is definitely more of an introductory chapter, but it's full of fluff and gayness anyway!  
> (This was requested by @moonybot on Tumblr!)
> 
> I'm so excited to write this one! It's a little cliche but I'm having so much fun with it. I'm going to be updating it along with writing other fics, too! I might concentrate on this one for a while while I get it going.
> 
> TW WARNING: homophobic slurs and intoxication 
> 
> THIS CHAPTER IS INSPIRED BY TWO SONGS, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU GIVE A LISTEN TO AS YOU READ:  
> "Hickeys" by Saint Lane  
> "Electric Love" by BØRNS

“University of Eastern Colorado?”

The acceptance letter in his hand was one of the biggest surprises of Ellie’s life. Joel read the header aloud, seemingly perplexed, not realizing what it was yet.

“Yeah, just read it,” Ellie insisted excitedly, toes wiggling in her shoes as she stood waiting for him to read her acceptance.

Joel glanced up at her with a cocked eyebrow, but there was a grin on his face. “Okay…” He cleared his throat before starting. “Dear Ellie. After a thorough review of your academic record and your application, we would ultimately like to _congratulate you–”_ Joel’s eyebrows shot up as he continued to read the words across the paper. “–as you’ve been accepted into the University of Eastern Colorado. We are pleased to offer you admission as a freshman joining us on campus in the fall of this year.” With wide eyes, he looked back up to Ellie, jaw parted slightly and meeting Ellie’s ecstatic eyes with shocked ones. “You got in?” He asked, clarifying for himself that it wasn’t a prank or some sick joke.

“Yup! I got in!” Ellie’s voice was shrill with excitement. She was fidgeting all over – as embarrassing as she would’ve found it, she couldn’t even begin to think about that right now. The pure, unwavering thrill of the letter had her reeling with joy.

“Holy shit, kiddo!” Joel threw his arms out to allow Ellie’s eager self to run into them, embracing her with his own excitement. “Congrats!” He held her tight and squeezed her, and Ellie could tell he was trying to even process his own delight at the news. “That’s fantastic!”

Ellie wrapped her strong arms around her adoptive father’s neck, holding him close as the elation passed through her body, the adrenaline pumping through her veins trying to bring itself down to a controlled level.

“I can’t believe it,” Joel’s smile was infectious as he pulled away, still close to his usually spaced away daughter.

“I know, me neither,” Ellie half-panted from the excitement. “I didn’t expect to get in.”

“No, I knew you could do it,” he assured. “Just wasn’t expectin’ it to come so soon.”

The rest of the day they spent in shock over the letter, absolutely elated, talking about what came next and what they needed to do from there. Obviously, Ellie knew she would be dorming – a drive from Wyoming to Colorado was just a tad bit too far. They did some research on the dates for orientation, sending in deposits, and applying for a dorm.

“You got anybody in mind to dorm with?” Joel asked when they scrolled down to the next part of the process. He looked to her for an answer, sitting beside her at the dining room table.

“No, not really,” Ellie admitted with a shrug. “I don’t know anybody else in school who applied to UEC.”

“So, what do we put?” Joel was funny when he asked about computer questions. She forgot sometimes that he was an aging old man. “We select ‘random assignment’, right?”

“Yup.”

“Wait,” he leaned back in his chair and gave her a concerned look. “You’re gonna be sleeping in the same room as a stranger?”

_Here we go,_ Ellie thought with a roll of her eyes. “Yes, Joel. But they do it based off of gender. So, I’ll be with another girl.”

“That ain’t what I’m worried about,” He furrowed his brows and pursed his lips. “Anybody can be crazy.”

“Yeah, like you,” Ellie brushed him off with a grin. “Stop worrying.”

She could tell it still wasn’t sitting right with him, but he kept his mouth shut about it. They continued down the process, completing the questionnaires about scheduling, classes, and dorms. They spent solid hours going through all of the information, and getting it all set up. She was scheduled to attend orientation with Joel over the summer. They would drive out to Fort Collins to tour the campus and the dorms, and officially affirm her spot in the college.

While the excitement still ran rampant in her body, she couldn’t even begin to describe the anxiety she felt over leaving her home in Jackson, the only place she really ever knew as home, and going over 500 miles away – a drive over 8 hours – to head to a brand new environment in a university to study music like she’d always wanted. She didn’t chastise herself too much, though – she knew anyone and everyone in her shoes would be just as scared.

Night rolled over them before either of them even realized. They were so busy filling out paperwork, doing online research, planning ahead for the upcoming events. Ellie was more than burnt out by the end of it.

When she headed up to her room for the night, she sighed with relief as she closed the door. Her small, typical teenage bedroom was still and peaceful – one of her favorite places to unwind and be herself. The blue paint covered in posters and writing; the bookshelves filled with her favorite comic books, from all the way back to _Savage Starlight,_ which she read when she was fourteen; her stereo, atop a cabinet full of her favorite alternative records; her acoustic that sat quietly beneath the moonlit window, curtains blowing in the slight cool breeze that blew in from the window that she had cracked open earlier that day in the warmer spring weather; all of it was her happy place.

Suddenly, she realized, there was an expiration date on her happy place. In a few months, she’d be packing up a lot of the stuff littered around her room and shipping it off to a small room hundreds of miles away – a room she was going to have to _share_ with someone else. She wasn’t a people person – she wasn’t a party animal, or a “popular kid”, or an outgoing person by any means.

Ellie dreaded the day she’d meet her roommate. What if she was horrible? What if she was angry, or too kind? What if she was pushy or clingy or didn’t speak to her? What if she had no interests like her? Little did she know what she had in store for her.

A fragile knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. With a squeak of the old door on the molded hinges, she was able to make out the face of Joel when she peaked over the comforter on her bed, tucked comfortably underneath.

“You awake?” Joel’s violent whisper had her back down to reality.

“Yeah,” she responded, a little louder than him to signify she was fully attentive.

“Hey, I, uh…” The rattling in the back of Joel’s throat and the way he looked down at the ground as he processed the thoughts running to his mouth had Ellie hooked. “I just wanna say…” He overcame his hesitation with a grumble. “I just wanna say I’m proud of you. I know I don’t say it a lot, but… you make me proud, kid.”

His confession was so out of thin air – it took Ellie back completely. But she never showed it.

“I know,” she whispered back kindly, stoically. “Thanks, Joel.”

“Goodnight, baby,” he disappeared with those sweet words lingering in the air. With another squeak and click, the door was closed, leaving Ellie to stare up at the ceiling in wondrous thought.

_Welcome to adulthood,_ she reminded herself. This was gonna be interesting.

***

“Hey, sorry to bother you, but do you have any idea where the science building is?”

Ellie, to say the least, was not mentally there. The entire excruciatingly long bus ride to the UEC campus had completely drained her of all physical strength. It was a few days before school was scheduled to start, but it was mandatory for students to be on campus three days before classes. Her bus ran from late the night prior to that morning. Having gotten little to no sleep – she couldn’t even remember – she was practically a zombie walking onto campus.

She had already submitted all of her stuff to the dorm office. All of her luggage was neatly being transported into her room – her bags, her guitar case, and whatever else was left. The only thing she carried with her was a backpack that hugged her shoulders. She could barely even think of what was going on, her head was spinning with exhaustion.

The sweet sound of an innocent voice had interrupted her undead thoughts and snapped her back to reality. She turned to meet the face of a young boy – black hair, glasses, multiple birth marks littering his face, and big hazel eyes. He was no taller than she was – making him short – but he was adorable nonetheless. The anxiety to talk to her was written all across his face.

“Oh, hi,” Ellie tried to rummage her brain for any and all people skills she’d retained in the eighteen years of her life, but all she could muster was a kind smile. “Um, yeah, I know where it is. It’s a little far, though.”

It was true – she knew the entire campus from her visit with Joel a few weeks beforehand. They had spent a load of time wandering around the bustling place, taking in the sights of the beautiful environment and studying where each building was.

Ellie fastened her backpack tighter to her back as she prepared to walk with him to show him where to go, but was interrupted by nervous babbles from the kid, prompting a confused look from the taller girl.

“Oh, no, uh!” His stuttering was utterly adorable. “No, I, uh – that’s okay! You don’t have to… you don’t have to come with! Like I said, it’s no trouble!”

A genuine, amused smile slowly formed on Ellie’s lips. Shaking her head, she insisted. “No, dude, it’s cool. Come on, I’ll show you where it is.”

He shuffled the small stack of books around nervously in his arms as he reluctantly followed. Ellie could read the appreciation across the pretty color of his eyes.

The walk was silent at first, aside from the busy campus square. Neither of them spoke – both presumably too anxious and socially awkward to even bother making a move in any means toward conversation. Ellie knew she should take the plunge, but her mind was stubborn in her insecurity. She forced herself to shake it off.

“So,” She instantly regretted the words that passed her lips – she should’ve just kept her shy ass quiet. “What are you here for? Science?”

At first, she felt the tension spark from the kid beside her. But slowly, he eased himself into it. “Yeah. For chemical engineering. Ever heard of it?”

_Briefly,_ she thought, thinking back to the old high school classes like chemistry, ones that seemed so unbelievably long ago. She still remembered with the classroom smelled like. “Is that where you mix everything and make new medicines and shit?”

Her bluntness both startled and amused the boy. “I mean, if you want to put it illogically, sure. We mix stuff.”

“That’s as far as you’re gonna get with me on that,” Ellie admitted, the joke passing without a beat. It had him smiling and it was an almost instant change. The atmosphere between them immediately became more comfortable. Silence fell over her, though, unknowing of what else to say.

“So…” Similar to how she started out, the boy broke out of his shell quite quickly after that, the level of comfort and trust established through nothing but silent language. “You from around here?”

“Nope, I’m not. I’m from a town called Jackson, Wyoming.”

“Wyoming, huh?” He seemed utterly intrigued. “Never known a single person to be from there.”

“Probably because it’s completely fucking empty,” Ellie chuckled, his smile falling upon his lips shortly after. “It’s a dead state, I know.” They exchanged a laugh, the comfort setting in. “How about you?”

“Well,” He raised his brows before speaking with a sigh. “I moved around a lot, but before I left to come here, I was living in Delaware. It was a little town called Greenwood.”

“Where were you living before that?” Ellie tilted her head and glanced at him as they continued to walk along the brick paths of the campus.

“Oh, psh,” he scoffed. “Ohio, a year in Tennessee, and before Delaware, I was in Louisiana. Louisiana was actually my favorite. The town we lived in, it was called Winnsboro, it was kind of like its own world in a way. It wasn’t really near any cities or anything.”

“You a city kid?”

“Depends on my mood,” he answered lightheartedly. “I went to Los Angeles when I was younger. It wasn’t really my favorite. New York City, though, _that_ was gorgeous.”

Ellie remembered the one time that Joel had given in and decided to take a plan to New York to let her experience the true city lights like she’d always wanted. While she loved it, she established that she enjoyed the peacefulness of the countryside and the suburbs much more than the bustling city.

“You ever been?” He asked.

“Once, yeah, a couple years ago. My dad took me when I was sixteen. It was definitely something.”

The science building came into view. Her uncle Tommy, who attended the university decades before, always described the building to look somewhat like a mirror. Ellie never understood it, but she also never forgot it.

“Well,” Ellie came to a slow halt. “This is your stop.” With a grin, she threw a thumb over her shoulder, signaling to the big science building.

The kid’s eyes widened, taking in the sheer size of the building. He took in the surroundings, the height, and just how intimidating it was. “Wow… okay,” Before he turned to go, he turned to Ellie with a smile. “Hey, thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“No sweat, man,” Ellie’s smile widened in return. It was just then that she realized the most important piece of the puzzle was completely missing from her knowledge. “Hey, I never got your name, by the way.”

“Oh, shit, right,” he laughed, his face flushed with a bashful sense about him. “My name’s Devon.” He awkwardly put his hand out for a handshake, unsure whether or not she would reciprocate or find him cool. Ellie just laughed and took his hand, shaking it firmly with an inviting smile.

“Ellie.”

“Ellie,” He repeated in understanding. “What’s your major, Ellie?”

She was almost embarrassed to say in front of him, considering his major was so much more challenged and advanced.

“Uh, music.”

“Music?” He nodded, letting it process. He just smiled and it warmed her heart. “Well, Ellie, I hope to see you again.”

“Same here,” The sweet interaction made her stomach tickle with excited butterflies. He only gave her that same pleasant smile before turning to walk toward the science building. She watched him go for a minute before remembering she had her own places to be, and turned off with a satisfied smile.

***

The campus was so beautiful – just as pretty as she remembered. There was so much that she had previously explored that completely stuck like glue to her busy mind. The college square was full of a sea of kids – all from different grades and backgrounds and personalities. While Ellie knew she wasn’t one for social activity, the ocean of diversity in front of her made her feel so small and so adventurous, braving the wild in this new life of hers.

Admittedly, she was zoning out as she went around the college square, going about her business as usual. It was a good thing that she tuned her surroundings back in when she did.

A tall, lanky dark brown-haired guy in a sweatshirt and hood over his head passed her by to her left, and something very much stood out about him, so much so that she even stopped and turned to watch him go, and that’s when she saw it.

Flying several feet above the air, dropping faster than she realized, a football headed right for his direction. Instinctually, she rushed forward, but she knew she would just barely make it.

“Hey, watch out!” She warned, only for him to turn around and give her a confused glare. He didn’t move, but Ellie was running for him fast enough to startle him. He dived out of the way as Ellie smacked the football out of the air and hard onto the ground.

“Jesus, what the hell, kid?” The tall boy ripped the earbuds from his ears by the wire, the faint sound of hard music coming from the buds as he shoved them in his pocket and away. When he took the minute to look at his surroundings, he saw the football lying just feet from where he was standing, and Ellie was there standing in his place.

A different boy came running over – this one tall, muscular, and with lighter brown hair closer to the shade of Ellie’s. He wore a UEC varsity jacket, the colors green and gold stitched into the jacket. When he got closer, he had light brown eyes that watched both of them with worry.

“Yo, are you guys okay?” His deeper voice pressed, obvious and genuine concern littered in his voice, so much so that it took Ellie by shock.

She remembered the harshness and the callousness of the guys from her high school – every time she saw a varsity jacket like his back at her old high school, she immediately knew to run for the hills. The guys in her high school were brutal and merciless. They laughed at you for just about anything. They would pretend to be your friend and condescend you while they did only to turn around and mock you, ridicule you, and laugh at you if you so much as spoke in class. She wasn’t so used to the change of tone.

“We’re good,” Ellie informed him, brushing off her hand from the impact of the ball that had set all the nerves in her hand to flames. Automatically, her tone seemed colder than his and he must’ve picked up on it. It was a force of habit.

It finally clicked with the tall, lanky kid what was going on. Upon realizing that Ellie had done nothing but help him, his gaze softened, and his tone came down from its aggressive manner.

“Yeah, we’re cool,” he chimed in, in agreement with Ellie. He shot her a grateful look before turning back to the jock who stood with a look of reluctant relief at the two of them standing there. “Next time watch where the fuck you’re throwing that thing, will you?” His tone came off as cold and confrontational, but there was a joking undertone that she picked up on right away.

The concern quickly dissipated as a look of amusement took over. The jock was quick to recognize him. “Sorry, Charlie,” he chuckled it off.

_Charlie?_ Ellie’s mind examined the lanky boy’s face as the name repeated. _They’re friends, then?_ Just as she was about to walk off, Charlie looked to her with a much friendlier look than he had given her minutes beforehand.

“Hey, thanks for saving my ass,” his smirk was a genuine one. He seemed mischievous and carefree, a complete change from before. “I owe you my fuckin’ head.”

Ellie couldn’t help but reluctantly smile in response. “Oh, hah… It was nothing.”

“You new here?” The jock tucked the football under his arm and put a hand on his hip. His face was nothing but positive – not a single shadow of malice hid behind any of those welcoming facial features.

“Yeah, I just enrolled,” Ellie admitted, the feeling of shame falling over her like a blanket as she realized that she was talking to someone above her. _An upperclassman, maybe?_ “I’m a freshman.”

“Fresh meat, huh?” Charlie’s voice was teasing as it was contradicting, and the jock was quick to point that out.

“You’re one to talk,” he sneered at Charlie. “Heard you just came in here yourself, isn’t that right?”

With a roll of his eyes, Charlie was quick to bite back. “Fuck off, bro. I’m the same age as you. Stop riding your high horse’s dick.” The jock laughed heartily before Ellie finally interrupted awkwardly.

“Do you guys know each other or something?” Ellie cocked an eyebrow as she glanced between the both of them. _Is it too early to assume they’re gay? Maybe my radar is off._

“We went to high school together,” Charlie was the first one to answer, with an unamused roll of his eyes. It was almost as if she got the vibe that he regrets having to go to school with him, but then again, they were so back and forth that she couldn’t tell if it was serious or not.

“We grew up here,” He informed proudly, prompting another eye roll from Charlie, who had now sat down on the brick wall surrounding the center statue of the campus square. “We went to Fort Collins High, graduated two years ago.”

“So, you’re sophomores?” Ellie concluded, feeling stupid as she said it aloud.

“I am,” He motioned to Charlie, who had pulled a cigarette out of his hoodie pocket and lit it. “He’s a freshman. Had to repeat senior year.” He seemed to go easy about how loud he broadcasted it – Ellie assumed it was in order to keep Charlie from turning sour about it, which she found sweet of him regardless.

Ellie nodded curtly in understanding, quick to rush off of the topic and avoid any negative feelings from the lanky boy against the wall. She heard the click of a lighter, and when she looked over, Charlie’s cigarette was lighted and the butt was between his lips.

“That’s what you get when you fuck up in school, kid,” he scoffed, taking a long drag of his cigarette and looking off to where the jock came from. “Hey, bigshot.” He called to the tall boy, quickly getting his attention with an amused smirk. “Your buddy’s lookin’ for ya.” He motioned a long finger to a tall black-haired kid behind them, trying to get the jock’s attention.

“Ah, shit,” He let the football slide down his arm and back into his hand. “Hey, it’s been nice talking to you…” He paused, squinting his eye as he tried to recall the name that she never told him.

“Ellie,” Her tone was amused and lighthearted. She was oddly comfortable around him, which was the most appalling thing to her. His “kind” never really appealed to her.

With a nod and a smile, he affirmed. “Ellie. Catch you later, Ellie.” He turned to run off before calling behind him. “See ya tonight, Charlie!” His taller, dark-haired friend gave him a quick shove on the shoulder when he caught up to him, and the two turned to continue their game, with a couple of other guys joining in with them.

A moment of silence fell between the two of them, Charlie still leaned up against the wall blowing smoke, Ellie standing with an arm hanging, and a hand grabbing her elbow. “Who was that?” She finally asked, grabbing Charlie’s attention with a slow turn of his head in her direction.

“That’s Jayson,” he answered neutrally. “Linebacker and wide receiver for the varsity team. If you couldn’t tell by his raging ego.” His joke was light but effective, Ellie laughing silently through breath and a smile. “No doubt he’ll end up as the quarterback. He’s the team favorite.”

“I could tell,” Ellie replied, deciding to hang for a while and converse with the taller boy.

“Hey, thanks again,” Charlie was reluctant to let his guard down – Ellie could see it as clear as day that he wasn’t one to give in and apologize – but she could hear the genuine appreciation in his voice. “Not sure how many people would’ve done what you did. “I owe you one, freshman.” His eyes continued to stare out in the air of the campus.

“No problem, freshman,” Ellie was hesitant, but quick to joke back after she overcame the anxiety.

He shot her a dark, amused smile, brows furrowed, but a lighthearted flash across his face could tell the joke was positively received. “I already like you. You can stop.”

Ellie just laughed sweetly. “Glad to hear it.” The social interaction part of this whole journey was definitely not as hard as she’d thought. It was so much different than high school, in every better way possible. That fire, attitude, and sarcasm was starting to break through the cracks in the barrier that she had formed during high school to keep herself quiet.

“Hey, you know,” he interrupted a brief silence that followed as a thought came to his head. He tossed his cigarette down as he finished and squashed it under his sneaker. “There’s this big party going on tonight to celebrate coming back. One of the junior frats is throwing it.”

_Oh, God, here we go._ Ellie expected it – she knew that college would require a little more social interaction. Conversations, confrontations, classes. Each would have its limit to the comfort barrier you would have to break as an incoming freshman. But the one thing Ellie chose to ignore – unfortunately, ignore – was the fact that social interactions went far beyond the classroom, or a group of friends and colleagues. Parties, kickbacks, and all kinds of festivities were going to be all up in her face. And if she knew anything, she knew that not going to those was what most referred to as “social suicide”. Getting anywhere around college socially would mean that you would need to step far out of your comfort zone to put yourself out there.

“Sounds like fun,” Ellie replied gently, struggling to control the anxiety running rampant. _If he asks you to come, you know you’re gonna have to go, right, Ellie?_ Her mind was the culprit fueling the fire.

“Do you drink?” The question was blatant and direct, and it had fearful eyes glancing over to Charlie, who was now watching her with a careful stare.

Ellie remembered the very few times that being a floater around the school landed her in a high school party. It wasn’t often, but when it happened, she did her best to control her levels and keep an eye out around her. She didn’t exactly trust the people she went to school with. But the occasional times that she did force herself to go – usually with some of her other friends – she found herself taking a couple of shots to let loose for the night. You weren’t fondly remembered for being a party pooper.

“Sometimes, yeah,” She shrugged with an uplift in her brows.

Charlie just laughed, causing blood to rush to her face.

“What?” Ellie challenged in her embarrassment. “I drank.”

“No, dumbass,” Charlie’s laughter subsided upon realizing her bashfulness. “I can just tell the kind of kid you were in high school. So easy to read.” He shook his head and turned away, letting the silence pedal in before turning to her again. “Did you smoke?”

That was the one thing she never did in high school. All of her friends did or had at least tried pot once before, but she was the “goody-two-shoes” of her group. She was always too anxious to get high. She convinced herself that once she’d gone off to college she would let loose, but now that she was there, it was proving to be much more difficult than it seemingly had been in her mind.

“Don’t even bother,” Charlie teased with a laugh. “I already know the answer.”

“I never got the chance to, alright?” Ellie fired back, furrowing her brows into a scowl and turning away. “You don’t gotta be a dick about it.” She looked back at him, face unchanging.

“No judgment here, dude,” he threw his hands up before smiling devilishly again. “Not a lot, anyway.” Ellie threw another scowl in his direction before he laughed and gave up. “Okay, you need to live a little. You should come tonight.”

_Ah, there it is. Well. Guess it’s game time._

“Sure,” Ellie shrugged passively, trying hard to cover up the nervousness in her tone with a collected response. “Where’s it at?”

Charlie’s eyebrows shot up, almost as if he was surprised that she agreed to go so easily. A little more confidence gathered tight in her chest.

“It’s at the Alpha Epsilon Pi house. Big junior frat party at around eight. You sure you’re ready for it?”

“Don’t patronize me,” Ellie barked. “I’ll be there.”

“You better be,” He seemed to be much more comfortable around her. “I might be a couple of minutes late, but I’ll sure as hell be there. And so will half the fuckin’ school. You might even meet your roommate there!” His joking was getting the better of him. She’d almost forgotten about her roommate – she hadn’t even met her yet. “It’s gonna be wild, so you better be ready for it.”

Ellie scoffed. “You won’t have to worry about me.”

Another condescending laugh had Ellie’s blood boiling for a moment. “Oh, I think I do.” Standing up with a groan, he stretched out his back. “Alright, well. That’s my cue to get outta here. Oh, you can bring whoever you want to the party, by the way. The more bodies, the better.”

“Alright,” Ellie sighed, standing up with him, following suit as she secured her backpack with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’ll see you tonight, then.”

“Later, freshman,” he shot her one last teasing smile before turning off and putting his earbuds that he’d sloppily shoved in his hoodie pocket back in his ears.

Ellie took a minute to process all that had just happened before leaning back against the wall with a defeated sigh. _And so, the chaos begins._

A minute later, just as she was about to get up again, a buzzing in her jean pocket had her reaching for her phone. When she pulled out the small smartphone that she never used, she saw a text notification from Joel.

_“Joel: Stay safe out there, kiddo! Don’t do anything stupid and make sure you go to bed on time. Miss you kid xo.”_

Ellie couldn’t help but laugh out loud in disbelief at her situation.

_Great. Thank God he isn’t here. He’d kick my fucking ass._

***

Never in all her life had Ellie ever seen a building as intimidating as the frat house’s. It looked kind of like a castle – yet it matched the rest of the UEC building styles. It only made it that much more terrifying.

Inside, the lights were on in almost every room. There were flashing disco lights and LEDs she could see happening on the main floor. There were shadows of people all over the place, blocking the lights from exiting the window and out on the front lawn where she was standing.

Out on the lawn, there were kids hanging around, talking, greeting each other, helping each other get in. It was definitely a refreshing sight – once again, comparing it to high school, the change of scene was comforting and most certainly welcomed.

Something she took note of right away was everyone’s style of clothing. There was such a variety of styles that it was almost hard to make out just one. Tons of girls wearing crop tops and short jeans, much like they did in high school. Other girls wearing sweatshirts and jeans, or even UEC caps with blouses, t-shirts, tank tops, and a combined mix of shorts, jeans, and yoga pants. Some guys were wearing jackets, some wearing muscle shirts, others just regular t-shirts. Most of them wore jeans or shorts. Some wore hoodies and sweatpants – much like Charlie did – and others had their faces painted or tattoos covering their arms and legs.

Part of her felt insecure for it – she was wearing her usual clothes. With it being a warm, breezy night, her red flannel with a gray hood atop a plain black tee accompanied by jeans and sneakers seemed to work just fine for her.

She had dropped off her bookbag at her room – she went to see it, too, following the number on her entrance key to the fifth floor, room 512. Alongside her luggage and bags, she saw her roommates’, but she was nowhere to be found. She brushed that thought aside, and just focused on getting into the party.

She knew Charlie would be late, so she eventually mustered the courage to walk in, her moment of fear at the terrifying house surpassing just enough to get her legs moving again, but before she could, her attention was grabbed by a call from the front of the bushes to her right, Turning her head, she was wonderfully greeted by a nervous wreck, but a sight for sore eyes: Devon.

“Ellie!” He called, his voice barely above a whisper.

An immediate smile formed on her lips. She wasted no time crossing over to him. He was hiding out by a tree in front of the bushes lining the house. The string lights littered on the tree helped her identify the small boy immediately.

“Devon!” She called, almost a little too cheerfully than usual. She figured it was just her anxiety thanking him. “What are you doing here?” It didn’t exactly seem like his scene.

“Good question,” he tried to be lighthearted, but he was clearly very nervous. “My cousin told me I should come.”

“You cousin?” Ellie’s eyebrow cocked. “Do they come here, too?”

He shook his head frailly. “My cousin, Addie. She’s a sophomore. She and her best friend are both here. Addie’s a business major. She told me to come because she said I needed to open up and be friends with people. I know she’s only doing it for my comfort but I can’t do it, Ellie, I don’t know if I can go in there. I didn’t take my meds, either, and I just don’t know what to do, I really don’t. I’m freaking out.” His anxious rants had his hand twitching side to side, almost like a kneejerk reaction to the intense social anxiety he was feeling.

“Well, do you _want_ to go to this party?” Ellie asked, raising her brows with accentuation.

“I do,” he sighed with defeat. “I want to meet people, more than anything. I just can’t go in. There’s so many people in there…” He continued to shake his wrist as the anxiety still ran rampant in his body like an infection.

“Hey,” Ellie’s eyebrows furrowed as she took a hand and gripped a bony shoulder. “Just relax, okay?” She surveyed their surroundings carefully, praying nobody saw them. It didn’t seem like anyone was paying any attention to them. Nobody’s eyes had even wandered in their direction.

Devon seemed appreciative of the caring tone of voice. His silence spoke volumes.

“Listen, if you don’t wanna go in there,” Ellie hesitated. _Social suicide._ “I won’t go, either, okay? I’m not gonna leave you out here alone.”

Immediately, he shot it down. “No, no, it’s fine,” he insisted, his voice shaky with anxiety. “I’m not gonna be the reason you don’t go. I’ll go in. I’ll be fine.”

Ellie wasn’t buying it so much. She was reluctant, but he was insisting. “Seriously, we don’t have to. It’s not the end of the world.”

He shook his head with a haste that she knew was fueled on his nerves. “No, I’m going in.” He looked to her, almost like a child who looked to a parent for guidance. It was clear that his anxiety delved deeper than just your average worry. “You’ll stick around with me, right?”

Ellie wasn’t a stranger to anxiety. Seeing Devon like this, it brought her back to the many times in junior high and freshman year in high school where she would need to run to the bathroom to control her breathing and calm herself down. She knew it was no walk in the park to deal with the crushing pressure of the social world – the harshness of it kept many at bay.

She could only form the most genuine of smiles as she looked down on this small boy – she almost forgot he was her age. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” She squeezed his shoulder gently before letting go and slowly starting to move toward the house, an anxious Devon following suit behind her. “Besides, it’s not like I know anyone here, anyway.”

_Charlie._ The tall, lanky boy nearly slipped from her memory as she brought Devon closer to the house. _Shit, I don’t even know what time he’s coming._ Her eyes wandered nervously at the students at her sides as the door came closer into view. _Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I gotta stick with him now. Hopefully they get along._

The exhaustion from the night before still sat heavily on her, but she knew that she’d made it the entire day without giving in to the fatigue – she wasn’t about to let it get to her now. The door was right there, they just had to walk in there and get through the night.

Ellie’s mind continued to wander – she didn’t know what to blame; her exhaustion or her anxiety at her given situation. She knew she had to be in control of this. For herself, for Devon, she knew she had to take the wheel. But then there were times where her tired mind would sit there and wonder: _What if they got caught? Were they allowed to have this party? What kind of people would be in there?_ One of the more important questions lingering in her responsible brain: _When am I supposed to meet my roommate during all of this?_

“How’s it going, guys?” A clearly intoxicated jock greeted them overzealously, both of them just giving him a forced, uncomfortable smile, before being bestowed to the sight before them.

Music blasted so loud the walls shook, the lights completely distorted every color in the house, and every color on every person. Shirts turned from white, to blue, to black in seconds as the flashes of the LEDs continued. Everywhere she looked, kids were holding the signature red plastic cups, filled with alcohol. Smoke filtered through the air, and by the distinct smell of it, Ellie knew right away that she was inhaling the remains of blunts that had been smoked. All of the kids were dancing, moving, talking, or horsing around. The entire picture before her felt like a fever dream – or maybe, a bad LSD trip.

_Dear God, how did I get myself wrapped up in this?_

“Welcome, guys!” Another drunk individual, this time a short, blonde girl pulled Ellie by her arms forward. “Come get a drink!” She pressed, starting to lead Ellie over to the tables lined up, one after the other, piled with coolers full of liquor. The party was hazy around them, and it was hard to even see where she was going.

“What the…?” Ellie marveled at the sheer number of bottles cramped in each of the coolers. Her face read a disgusted emotion, but she couldn’t believe her eyes. “How the hell did you even get all of this…?” She mostly said to herself, but the vigorous, energetic girl in front of her must’ve heard.

“Don’t worry, cutie,” The sultry way that the words fell from her lips had Ellie’s heart stopping dead in her chest. “Just let loose a little.”

As much as she hated to admit it, she was hooked. The attention that this random girl, amidst all of the chaos around her, was giving her had her shamelessly digging into the cooler to get a drink. The way this girl smirked suggestively at her had Ellie smiling back as she opened the lid to the cooler. Her words were like a magnet that pulled her to the blue tub of alcohol. She craved more of the attention. She realized in that moment, in that atmosphere, that she was starving for the attention of that girl. Even this girl she just met – she was a pawn in Ellie’s mind. It was like an animalistic need crashed on her and soaked her in the need for acceptance. It was that moment of weakness in every kid’s life, that one moment that you just give in because the need for attention and social acceptance outweighs all the other worries in your mind. That was Ellie’s weak moment.

Never did she realize that moment of weakness would completely change her life.

Just as she went to reach for a bottle, a thought cut through the sensual haze, she snapped out of it with a turn of her head, realizing Devon was nowhere in sight.

“Oh, shit,” she cursed aloud to herself, the girl’s smirk quickly turning into one of confusion and judgment – the lift of her brow brought reality back to her, a surge of shame grappling her; disappointment in herself at letting herself be consumed in that weak feeling, that need for acceptance, consuming her.

“I’m sorry, I gotta find someone,” She quickly apologized, the blood painfully rushing to her face as she stumbled off down the hall to find Devon. The crowd had only seemed to get bigger – or maybe it just appeared that way because she was so panicked, and because she needed to find someone.

After pushing past plastered students of all ages and grades, she made her way to the living room where she saw Devon leaned up against the wall, beside the TV stand. She could see the panic written across his face. In the room with him, multiple large jocks stood around, dancing with girls, chugging whole cans of beer, and slamming each other around. There was a beer pong table set up behind the couches to the right of the doorframe where Ellie stood. Devon was off to the right, where guys and girls sat around on the couches, drunkenly talking, yelling, and dancing.

Refraining from entering the living room, she tried numerous times to capture his attention, and finally, one particularly long wave of her hand had him double-taking as his eyes wandered over her, and then back to her again.

“Devon!” She called over the music, a rapid hand motioning him to come to her.

_This was such a bad idea;_ Ellie was kicking herself for convincing him to come to the party. _I should’ve stayed out with him. He even said he didn’t take his meds. Way to go, Ellie._

Devon was quick to sigh with relief, and he hastily started making his way over to her, avoiding the rowdy kids in the center of the room who were too drunk to even see straight. Just as he was passing by the group by the couches, a large, muscular guy crashed into him – clearly accidental as one of his friends had pushed him in their drunken haze – throwing both of them against the wall and crushing Devon, whose arms flew up to his head to protect himself on the impact.

When the guy stepped back, he turned and looked down at Devon, who was stuck like a deer in headlights against the wall staring back up at him. He had slightly short, wavy hair that was long at the top. He had a crafted jawline and hovered at least a foot over Devon.

“You got a problem, kid?” His speech was undoubtedly slurred, and it was clear that he was absolutely plastered beyond belief. “You’re in my fucking way.”

Ellie was glued to the floor. She wanted to launch forward and break it up, try and reason with the guy and explain she saw that it was an accident. But her nerves took over and the awe kicked in, and she was too scared to say anything. It was one of those times that she remembered in high school – she remembered watching kids get pushed around and she would see a confrontation in the hallway, for example, and much like everyone else, she would only stand there with wide eyes and watch helplessly, like she was in a trance and praying that it would resolve. She wasn’t one to take out her phone and record it, nor was she one to stand between it. She minded her own business, and that instinct to stand back in fear and watch kicked in again.

When Devon didn’t respond, it only seemed to piss him off more. “You got nothin’ to say?” He demanded, raising his voice. “Come on, kid, you’re such a tough guy getting in my way and now you’re gonna stand there and look stupid?” Spit flew from his mouth at the accentuation of his words.

Another guy, this one shorter than the jock, but wearing the same varsity jacket, stood up from the couch, the drink still in his hand. He was Asian, had dark hair and eyes, but he was tall and lanky, rather than fit.

“Alright, Ben, come on,” he reached and placed a hand on the jock’s shoulder, who quickly pushed him off.

“Get the fuck off me, Jesse,” he turned as he violently ripped his shoulder away from his hand, quickly whipping back around to get back down in Devon’s face.

“You need to calm the fuck down,” Jesse tried again to pull him off but this time, Ben turned and shoved Jesse off, pushing him a foot or so back and nearly knocking him off his feet.

“I said get the fuck off.”

Jesse put his hand up and dropped it with defeat as he shook his head. It was clear that Ben was too obnoxiously drunk and irrationally angry to be stopped. Ben’s anger was entirely comprised of over-intoxication, and he was clearly just looking for a fight. Jesse didn’t need a confrontation with his angry, drunk friend. But God, did Ellie wish he would’ve stopped him.

She had no idea where it came from, but she saw the tension building up in Devon’s face, much like a powder keg on the verge of explosion.

“Answer me,” He demanded again. Losing his temper, he took his strong hands, placed them on Devon’s shoulders, and shoved him as hard as he could into the wall. “Answer me, faggot!”

The awful slur was Devon’s undoing. She watched all the shyness, all the anxiety, sink under water from the dam that broke behind wildly angry eyes – through the lenses of his glasses she watched all of the anger be unearthed. With more power than she’d ever seen in anyone, she watched in complete awe as Devon’s arm cocked back and swung at the speed of a snake going in for its kill. His small, bony fist connected right against a thick jawline that had Ben completely stunned.

His head turned to the side from the sheer force of Devon’s punch, he slowly brought it back around to stare complete death into the smaller boy below him, who looked up at him with shock and disbelief at himself for what he’d done.

Ellie watched as the big jock breathed fire from behind gritted teeth, all of his drunken composure breaking – or whatever was left of it. Just as he went in to charge Devon, he quickly and anxiously dodged it. And that’s when Ellie sprung forward out of her trance, pulling Devon away and roughly shoving Ben even farther away before taking Devon by the hand and leading him out the door of the living room in a sprint.

_“You fucking cunts!”_

Behind them, Ellie could hear the string of expletives that Ben was screaming above the music, and soon after, she could sense the stomping, angry aura of the jock coming right after them. It only fueled her to run faster, the front door quickly coming into sight. They continued to knock into innocent partygoers as they continued to make a break for the front door.

“Holy shit, what the fuck did I just do?” Devon’s voice was shaking with disbelief, Ellie barely catching it over the sounds of the party in every direction around them.

“Just run!” Ellie pressed frantically, hoping to God he heard her.

Barreling out the front door, they nearly hit more people as they basically jumped down the few small steps, Ellie finally having let go of his hand, and once both of them landed on the pavement of the path leading up to the stairs, they hit the ground running, bolting for the dimly lit streets and out toward the trees.

By the time they had passed the bushes, Ellie turned with Devon keeping up behind her, purposely running against the other side of the hedge to get away from the party and out of sight from the door, where Ben easily might’ve been by then.

As both of them started to run out of oxygen, Devon being the first to fall, they slowed to a speed walk, but Ellie pulled them both to a stop. They were a decent way on the street, still behind the hedge of the frat house, but far enough that she could only pray that no one saw them if they came around the corner. The dim street lights would be their only giveaway.

Devon was hunched over, hands on his knees as he panted, partially from the run and partially in shock at himself. That’s when Ellie grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look right at her.

“I don’t know what you just did, but it was fucking awesome,” A panicked laugh clawed its way out of her throat, and Devon quickly followed suit, a laugh of disbelief echoing after her own. Amidst her whirling brain, she finally snapped out of her hysteria to grip his shoulders tighter and give him a frantic look. “Do you have anyone you can call? Somebody to get us the flying fuck out of here?”

“Uh, um–” Devon’s voice was shaking as his laugh was abruptly cut short. With trembling hands, he reached down into his jeans pocket and pulled out his phone. “I can call Addie. She’s p-probably with her friends, anyway. She has a car. Her friends have cars…”

“Good!” Ellie shouted in triumph, a frantic excitement. “Good, call them right now!”

_“Hey, you fucking punks!”_

Ellie’s blood ran cold at the shrill, drunken voice of the angry jock who had come around the corner. All the way down the pavement, a good many meters away, Ben stood there as he saw them, his full body coming around the side of the hedge.

_“Get your fucking asses back here!”_

Never in all her life did her instincts kick in as much as they did in that moment. When she saw Ben charge forward for them, all of her animalistic drive grabbed Devon by the arm and pulled him forward, letting go as they started running.

“Devon, _fucking call them!”_ Ellie yelled against the air pressing her lungs as her legs moved on their own.

“Hello?” Devon’s voice nearly cut her off, and she realized that he had the phone up to his mouth as he was running, Ben still very much behind them, a good distance away, but still behind them.

_“Hello? Devon?”_ The startled voice of a female on the other line was a blessing to hear, despite the wind beating against her ears. _“Are you okay? Who was that?”_ She must’ve heard Ellie yelling at him.

“Hi, Addie, hey!” Devon’s voice was completely panicked and winded. “It’s just my friend. Listen!” His sentences were barely connected, he was speaking so fast and so frantically. “We’re kind of in a bit of trouble here, are you with people right now?”

“Cut to the fucking chase, Devon!” Ellie chastised in her frenzy.

_“Yeah, I’m with Jayson right now. We’re in his truck with our friends on our way to the party. What’s going on?”_

_Jayson?_ That name sparked a sense of a panicked relief in her. _I know him. I know that name!_ Her mind was going a million miles an hour – the only thing she was thinking was about how the fuck they were getting out of there, and fast.

“We need you to come here, like, right now,” Devon pressed. “Where are you?” Both of them were starting to give out, but their need to escape was greater.

_“Coming up to the house in literally, like, two minutes. Why, what the hell is going on?”_

“Don’t ask!” Devon snapped hurriedly. “My friend and I, we’re coming down the main road right now. We need you to pull over and turn around, and _fucking fast.”_

_“Can you just fucking tell me what’s going on, Dev?”_

“We’re being chased!” He finally blurted out. “We’re being chased by a drunk, angry guy so we need you to get here ASAP, please!”

_“Jesus Christ, okay… I think I see you guys…”_ The girl’s voice turned her attention to Jayson, who was presumably the driver. _“Look, right there, that’s them. Let’s go, pull over!”_

Jayson’s black Ford Expedition 2013 truck came pulling up to a screeching halt, Jayson turning the wheels crazily so that the car was horizontal in the middle of the road about fifty feet up the road. The windows were open and Ellie could hear the rummaging around inside the car. Her legs somehow moved even quicker, yelling to Devon to go as both of them picked up speed, Ben having gotten slightly closer due to his sheer athletic strength.

She heard the faint yell of Jayson’s voice. “Charlie, get in the fucking trunk!”

_Charlie, too!_ Ellie’s relief was starting to pile up on her chest as they got closer and closer to the car.

“Swing the door open!” Jayson ordered to someone in the backseat, the door opening up no more than seconds later, just as Ellie and Devon were coming up to it.

Without even bothering to look back, Ellie launched herself up into the truck, landing hard in the backseat and quickly moving to make room for Devon, who she reached out to grab and pull in. Behind him, Devon pulled it shut with a slam and both of them were in.

“Jayson, go!” Ellie’s firm voice was both intimidating and distressed.

The car didn’t move, though. Jayson peered over the passenger seat, where a pretty dark-skinned girl sat, and looked out to see what had been behind them. “Oh, shit…” He mumbled, immediately recognizing the sprinting jock, who Ellie saw out the side window to only have rapidly picked up speed in order to catch up to the car.

_“Go, dude!”_ Devon’s panic resurfaced, and a shrill scream was followed by the slam of the acceleration pedal.

The tires shrieked painfully against the pavement of the streets, and suddenly, they were veering off back onto the other side of the road, and Ben running slowly disappeared in the background behind them.

Leaning back, completely exhausted and winded, Ellie let her head hit the back of the seat behind her, and her eyes were glued into the roof of the car. Her whole body slumped against the leather seats, and the only sound in the car was the panting and wheezing of the two runners.

That’s when Ellie felt it.

A pair of eyes dug into her skin. It left a burn trail to each of her freckles, and it carried on all throughout her face. She didn’t bother to see where they were coming from, not for a solid minute that she spent staring up and recuperating from her dash. Those eyes were calling her name. And eventually, she gave in.

To her left, she was taken back by the girl who sat next to her. Black, curly hair tucked neatly back into a bun toward the top of her head. Freckles much like her own littered across a clean, soft face. Lips that were perfectly shaped and balanced against a long nose and absolutely gorgeous, dark eyes that had Ellie reeling from their eye contact. The girl had looked her up and down in the most curious way.

There was something so intoxicating about her gaze – it had only been seconds that they’ve known of each other’s existence and she wanted this beautiful girl’s attention more than anything. Something about her had Ellie’s nerves sparking with premonition. A good kind of premonition – like that second of contact between them had sent a ripple of fate down her entire body.

Suddenly, Charlie’s face appeared between both of theirs, his hooded face popping up and over the seat from the trunk. She’d completely forgotten that idiot was back there. His sudden appearance caused Ellie’s body to jerk and break eye contact with the girl next to her.

“So, are one of you gonna explain what the fuck that was about?” He demanded, a smile forming on his lips at the glare Ellie shot him.

“Fuck off, Charlie,” the girl beside her finally spoke, and _God,_ that voice was so much different than she’d imagined. Honestly, she had no idea how she even imagined her to sound, considering they’d only met mere moments ago, but those mere moments felt like ages of discovery as she read her from the seat next to her. Her voice was addicting – she wanted to hear more of it.

Taking a small, thin hand, she turned with a smirk and placed it flat against the tall boy’s head, shoving him back with a surprising amount of strength that had Ellie watching the whole time. He groaned as his back hit the floor of the trunk.

Hearing the bump against the trunk, Jayson turned his head as he drove off. “Hey, watch my fucking car, assholes!” Looking into the rearview mirror, his eyes were earnest and caring. “Are you guys okay?”

“We’re good,” Ellie breathed out, still catching her breath from the run.

Charlie’s head peaked over again, coming back up in the moving vehicle to shoot Ellie a smug look. “I knew you wouldn’t last,” he laughed amusedly, causing Ellie to glare daggers into him. “I read you just right, huh, Ellie?”

“Shut up, Charlie,” she grumbled out with a glare, prompting more laughs out of him.

The girl in the passenger seat turned over the edge of the seat to get a better look at her. She was a very pretty dark-skinned girl, with full lips and done edges, a light dusting of freckles across her face that Ellie could only see as they passed by the perfect amount of street lighting. Her beautiful curly hair was done-up in an afro, and she had big, black eyes. Her lips formed up into a smile. “Ellie, right?”

“Yeah,” her shaky breath came out in a small laugh of nervousness. “That’s me.”

Ellie’s eyes wandered her pretty face as perfect teeth formed a lovely smile. “I’m Addie.”

Devon watched her sweetly, unable to hide the joyful look on his face that was still slicked in sweat and pink from their run.

Ellie’s glance to Devon barely lasted as she shook the girl’s hand with a sweet, caring grin. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You better have,” her attitude was accompanied by a playful smile. It was then that she contorted herself even farther to look at Devon, who was sitting to Ellie’s right and just behind the passenger seat. “They better have been all _good things.”_ She shot a sportive smile to the boy beside her.

“All good things,” Devon insisted.

“I’m glad we caught y’all when we did,” Addie expressed with relief, looking back at Ellie with a tender gaze. “We were literally on our way there.”

Charlie was still laughing in the trunk. “They didn’t even last twenty minutes!” He was hysterical to himself in the big trunk of Jayson’s car, with Addie rolling her eyes in response as Ellie’s face only fell into an unamused deadpan.

“I’m assuming you’ve met Charlie already,” Addie sighed with a lightheartedness mixed within her tone. “This is Jayson, and right next to you, that’s Dina.”

_Dina._ The name sounded so sweet in her mind. It was beautiful.

She forced herself to turn and meet the eyes of the girl beside her. That girl, Dina, she only reciprocated the kindest of smiles, but there was something mixed behind those dark eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Ellie,” Dina also let her hand fall out in front of her, right there for the taking.

Ellie could only stare at that beautifully fragile, perfect hand for a moment before she snapped herself from her obscure pause to politely take the hand of the girl next to her with a small smile. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Her hand was so soft compared to Ellie’s. Her eye contact never broke with hers, but she was quick to turn away as their hands pulled from each other. Dina’s fingers brushed the inside of her palm as she took her hand away and her head turned back, prying away from those magnetic eyes that watched her fervently. Ellie worried she was reading far too much into Dina’s actions – that it wasn’t as intense or electrifying as she’d thought. But she felt sparks of warmth just from a touch of their hands.

Addie must’ve picked up on the tension that Ellie thought wasn’t very obvious. “You two will get along just fine, I can already tell.”

Her comment threw her off track for a moment. The nervousness parted through her exhaustion for a moment. _What does that mean?_ Before she could ask, Dina cut her off.

With a witty smile, and a furtive undertone laced in her voice, she replied. “I can only hope so.”

_Was that a flirt?_ Ellie felt the blood slowly rushing to her face, but she did her best to keep it hidden under. Now wasn’t the time to lose her cool to the idea of a girl showing her attention. _That seemed so flirty… No, no._ She resisted the urge to shake her head to remove the thought. _No, don’t get ahead of yourself, asshole. She was just being nice._

It was then that she noticed how close together they actually were. Devon on her right was pressed up against her, but the feeling she got from being arm-to-arm and thigh-to-thigh with Dina was much different. She almost felt as if she was violating her space, like she wanted to inch away to give her more room. She didn’t want to intrude on her bubble or anything.

“What’s wrong, Eyebrow?” Charlie poked his damn head over again, Ellie turning to glare even harder. “Cat’s got your tongue?”

“Eyebrow?” Ellie lifted the scarred one up as her mouth hung open at the awful nickname. She quickly shook it off. “Do you ever shut up?”

“Hate to break up the touching moment back there,” Jayson interrupted with his booming voice, eyes wandered back up to the rearview mirror. “But where the fuck am I going, exactly?”

“It’s probably best to drop them off at the dorms, no?” Addie suggested. “I think these two have had enough excitement for one night.”

Ellie wasn’t opposed – she was more than willing to take her solo party back to the dorms and fall asleep. She had a long night, a long day, and an even longer evening. She was more than okay with heading back to the dorms for the night.

For the rest of the car ride, Ellie heard the chattering of the friends around her, but she was far too zoned out and exhausted to even think of anything they were saying. As long as they weren’t speaking to her, her eyes would droop and her mind would wander to the million things that had happened in the past twenty-four hours that Ellie had left Jackson. God, was she exhausted.

“Ellie’s checked out,” Dina’s voice interrupted the flow of conversation and silence pattern with an amused observation, the sound of her name rolling off of her tongue snapping her back to reality for the time being.

“No, I’m not,” She insisted, but it was futile. The small laugh that came from Dina was a bit embarrassing, but she cherished the sound of it. “I’m good.” She found herself being amused at Dina’s amusement. She joined her in her breathy chuckle. “Really, I’m just tired.”

“No kidding,” She played, leaning an elbow against the window and resting her head in the palm of her hand. Her eyes still found their way on Ellie’s freckled face.

Addie’s voice interrupted gently. “We’re almost there.”

“Have you been to your dorm already?” Dina asked curiously, her voice soft to match Ellie’s exhaustion. It was endearing.

“Oh,” Ellie tiredly nodded after processing her question. “Yeah, I have.” She wasn’t going to leave the silence hanging. “Have you?”

“Nah, not yet,” She sighed. “I don’t even know my roommate yet.”

“Oh, haha,” Ellie’s chuckle was light and airy and it sat well with the girl beside her. “I haven’t, either. Her stuff was up there when I went, but no sign of her.”

Dina hummed, and that was the end of their conversation. From then, Ellie must’ve been zoned out for the rest of it because she couldn’t remember anything up to that point. When they pulled in front of the dorms, that’s when Ellie’s consciousness sparked back up.

Devon pulled the handle and pushed the door open, the cool evening air splashing both him and her in their slightly colored faces, the sweat having dried up to nothing. Both of them started to slide out, and once they passed through the door, they stretched and sighed with relief.

“Alright,” Jayson said then, another look of care poured into their direction. “You guys good to go for the night?”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine,” Ellie answered appreciatively. “Hey, thank you so much.”

Jayson only chuckled. “No, it’s really okay.”

“We’re glad you guys are safe,” Addie chimed in sweetly from the passenger seat, whose window was rolled down as a way for them all to talk. “Are you guys sure you’ll be okay?”

“On second thought,” Dina’s voice cut through before either of them could answer. “These two look like they’re about to fall over. Ellie’s been half asleep since we took off. I’m gonna make sure they get to their dorms, if that’s okay?”

Jayson’s eyebrow shot up as the girl moved to the window where Addie sat. She slammed the door behind her. “Uh, you sure?” He seemed skeptical about her decision. “Do you want us to just wait out here?”

“No, no,” Dina dismissed it with an air brush of her hand. “It’s cool. I got to know a lot of people already. Plus, I haven’t even found my dorm yet. I’m pooped.”

Addie rolled her eyes, almost like she knew that there was an underlying cause to her decision. “You _sure?”_

“Yes,” Dina was playfully frustrated. She shoved Addie’s arm which was resting against the window frame of the car. “I’m all good. You guys can go.”

Addie stared at her in a deadpan, completely unamused and suspicious. She then leaned forward to give Ellie the same look, but spoke this time. “Make sure this one doesn’t get into any trouble, okay? Keep your eye on her. She’s a quick one.”

Ellie just awkwardly chuckled, her breath shaky. “I’ll do my best.”

“I’m the one that’s taking care of you,” Dina said, turning and giving her a look up and down. “I’m the one who’s gonna be _happily_ keeping my eyes on you.”

Shock shot through her body, igniting her nerves. The only giveaway with the slight change in her face, and the widening in her eyes. _Okay, there was no mistaking that one. Unless there was… God, why is this so hard?_

Ellie glanced back over to Addie, desperate for some kind of relief or closure from what Dina said, but all she received with a roll of Addie’s eyes, a shaking of her head, and an undeniable smirk of amusement.

“Alright, guys,” Addie sighed with mirth. “Take care of yourselves. Don’t have too much fun without us.” She looked to Dina and shot her an amused look. “I’ll see you tomorrow, dickhead.”

“Back at you, asswipe,” Dina shot back.

“Don’t bother Ellie too much,” she remarked as they started to drive off. “Let the girl breathe a little.”

Ellie felt the gulp go down hard in her throat. Devon was still there, but getting Dina alone would turn her into a wild, awkward mess. She didn’t think she should be even talking to someone that popular or attractive. She seemed about the same age – maybe a year higher than her. But by the way she spoke, it seemed as though she was new, too.

Shaking off all of her thoughts, she tiredly turned over to Devon. “You have any idea where your room is?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he muttered, voice shaky and battered. He was clenching one of his fists in his palm, and he winced with pain with the wrong brush of a hand.

Ellie furrowed her brows in question. “Is your hand okay?”

Devon just sighed and laughed. “Yeah, I punched the shit out of that guy, huh?”

“Hold up, wait, _what?”_ Dina cut in, eyes widened at Devon and face written with disbelief. “You _what?”_

Ellie sighed and motioned for them to start walking, which both of them did. “Basically,” she explained as they were walking into the dorms building. “The kid was fucking plastered and he tried getting up in Devon’s face, and he socked him a new one right across the face.”

“You’re lying,” Dina insisted. “There’s no way…?” She threw an incredulous glance Devon’s way before giving Ellie the same one.

“No, D,” Devon laughed, a slight perk of confidence rising in his small voice. “It’s true.”

She was quiet for a moment, her mouth hanging open. In that silence, Ellie turned to him. “What’s your room number?”

“225.”

“Hold on,” Dina butt in again, the disbelief settling enough so that she could talk as they headed to the elevators. “After all of these years I’ve known you, not once have you ever had the nuts to do that. When the hell did that happen?”

Devon just blushed and nudged her with an elbow as they walked side-by-side. “Stop it.”

“Kids,” Ellie chastised playfully, her voice dropped with exhaustion. “Cut it out.”

A grumble of protest came from the small boy to her right as the elevator dinged and landed on their floor. “She started it.”

They were quiet as they all stepped into the elevator. The air had cleared and gotten much more comfortable. The only thing her mind was thinking about was how nice it was going to feel to lay down in her bed for the first time in nearly two nights. Well, her new bed, anyway. Any bed would’ve worked at that point. It was the only thing she was thinking of. Oh, except for Dina, whose breath was brushing right against her shoulder from the tightness of the elevator. Although, Dina seemed to have chosen to be that close. She figured it was unintentional.

The elevator pulled up to the second floor, and the door opened with an ugly cry. On the other side, two females stood there, shooting them a friendly smile as they let them file out of the elevator before stepping in themselves.

“Alright, what was your room number again?” Ellie turned and asked, watching amusedly as he still examined his knuckles. _He’s cute._

“Oh, uh, 225,” he answered, adjusting his glasses with his uninjured hand. “It’s all the way down.”

“Okay,” Ellie hummed, leading the way down the hall. Each hallway looked the same – a beige atmosphere due to the wallpaper, lined with white, and pretty lamps hung from the ceiling, serving as lighting. The carpet looked a bit old underneath their feet, both the pattern and the stitching looking a bit musty, but it was the least of her concerns.

All the way at the end, about four or five doors from the end of the hall, Devon’s room was there. He pulled a key shakily from his pocket, wincing at his bruised knuckles that pressed against the jean pocket, and let himself in. Inside, it was empty. There was a bit of luggage that Ellie noticed wasn’t his, but his roommate wasn’t in.

“Are you gonna be okay by yourself?” Ellie’s voice was earnest and concerned. “I don’t mind staying for a minute…”

“No,” Devon insisted. “You’re not even really allowed to be here. This is a guys’ floor.” Dina and Ellie exchanged awkward side glances. “It’s fine.” He smiled reassuringly. “I’ll be okay.”

“Alright, man…” Ellie’s voice was reluctant, but she wouldn’t pry. “Just get some rest, okay? If you have any problems, I’m a few floors up. But here’s my number.” She motioned to his phone and he quickly gave it to her. She threw her number into a new contact named “El”.

Devon nodded shyly. As he was closing the door gently, he smiled at them. “Thanks, Ellie. Goodnight, guys.”

“Goodnight,” they both said softly in unison.

As Devon closed the door, Ellie turned with a hefty sigh, letting her arms fall slightly in front of her.

“You’re sweet,” Dina’s open observation took Ellie off guard, but she was too tired to really freak out like she would’ve if she had more energy.

Ellie just shook her head. “Maybe,” she answered in defeat. “Well…” she stretched out her back as the last battery of her energy started up. “I know where my room is…” _I think I remember the number… Kind of… I remember the scratch on the door. I remember the chipped paint around the scratch on the door._ Ellie always noticed the dumbest things. But God, did it always help her.

“I have my ticket here, uh…” She reached down in her jean back pocket. She pulled it out and read it with squinted eyes. “512.”

“Alright,” Ellie thought nothing of it. She didn’t remember her own number – her brain as so fried that it didn’t even matter. “We’re on the same floor, then.”

Dina’s face seemed to brighten for a second – just a second – but Ellie paid no mind to it. She was a nice girl, she probably was just looking for a friend, just as she was. She brushed it off but continued back to the elevator. Once they got in, Ellie leaned up against the wall, letting her head roll back with a sigh. Her eyes felt strained and tired, even while they were shut.

“You okay there, Eyebrow?” A soft hand brushed down her flannel’s arm comfortingly. It took Ellie by surprise but it was endearing the way she cared.

Amusedly, she shot her a dirty look. “Eyebrow? You, too, now? I see you learn fast from Charlie.”

“Not necessarily,” she teased. “I learned that it pisses you off, so now I’m going to do it.”

“Great,” Ellie groaned with a roll of her heavy eyes. They started to feel like weights in her head from the complete exhaustion that had swept her.

Pulling up to the floor with a ding, both of them stepped out – Dina first, and Ellie following after a quick stretch.

“Alright… 512…”

One by one the doors passed at her side. Starting at 501, then 502, then so on. As they started to get closer, she could see her own dorm room coming up on the left. _Wait a second…_ They got closer and closer, and finally; the number came into sight. They saw the plaque that read “512”, and right underneath it was a familiar, harsh scratch in the door, surrounded by a chipped paint…

“Uh.”

“What?” Dina turned to her questionably.

Ellie was quick to dig frantically in her pocket for her key. Across the metal, it read: _512._ All of the blood left Ellie’s body. Dina was her roommate. She’d been sitting next to her roommate in the car the entire time. That undeniably beautiful girl… Dina was her fucking roommate.

_And just when I thought this couldn’t get any more like a movie,_ Ellie’s mind was racing, but that was the one thought that stuck out. Her fried mind just continued to soar.

Dina peaked over her arm and stared down at the key, taking it upon herself due to Ellie’s lack of response. She looked back at her own, then at Ellie’s again, almost as if she herself were trying to process it.

Suddenly, a devious smirk grew slowly across her lips. If there was any form of genuine excitement in her, Ellie sure as hell didn’t see it. “Well, well, well.”

Ellie turned to her with a defeated smile, an exhausted one. “Well…”

Both of them stood side by side in front of the door, the realization both setting in on them in that moment together. _Wow, this couldn’t have been more convenient. Just put me with the prettiest girl on campus! Yeah, that’s great. Way to go, Ellie. It isn’t even your fault, but you’re a god damn idiot._

“Guess you’re stuck with me for longer than you thought,” Dina practically purred the words, and it was hard to ignore the slight seduction behind each vowel. “Don’t look so excited.” She teased again, referring to Ellie’s exhausted face.

“No, I am…” Ellie scratched the back of her ear, slumping forward, at a loss. “Dunno if you noticed, but I’m tired out of my mind here.”

“What happened, Freckles, couldn’t sleep last night?” Dina seemed to get more comfortable instantly, or maybe it was just her confident nature. Ellie was too tired to figure it out. She just slid her key into the lock and turned the knob to let them in.

“Something like that.”

The room was small, the decent-sized beds on each side against the wall barren, aside from the pillows and comforters. Each of their bags were neatly placed at the foot of their beds. Ellie was on the right, Dina on the left. It was a tidy little room, and there was a large window separating the two beds. A night table sat right underneath the window; a lamp placed atop.

“Close quarters, eh, Red?” Dina nudged playfully before stepping in, leaving Ellie’s face to darken with bashfulness. She flicked the lights on to give them a better view.

“That’s probably the only nickname you’ve called me in the hour that I’ve known you that I don’t actually dislike,” Ellie scrunched her nose at the girl who had already sat down and bounced on the bed.

“I’ll be sure to keep it in mind then…” Dina’s smug face gave her away before she even said it. “Freckles.”

Ellie rolled her eyes and let herself sit down on the bed, leaning over with exhaustion, letting the quietness and familiarity of the room sink in on her. Finally, there was some peace and quiet, and the promise of sleep was just moments away.

“These are some bouncy beds…” Dina remarked, the sultry tone in her voice so _teasing_ and _tempting._ “Might come in handy in the future.”

She swallowed the racing heart that sat centerfold like a lump in her throat. _Play this shit cool, remember._ “Oh, you mean for all the boys you’re gonna sneak in here all the time?” Ellie questioned with a scowling expression. She tried to hide the sourness in that statement.

Dina rolled her eyes. “Seems like we have some work to do.”

“Whatever that means,” Ellie dismissed, letting herself fall back on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. Her eyes burned every time she closed them.

“You going to bed so soon?” Dina’s voice was childish and whiny, but playful and teasing and Ellie’s mind was just too drained to even process the way that this girl was acting toward her. She couldn’t even analyze it – it was too much for her poor brain.

Ellie let herself slip under the covers after taking her shoes off and dropping them beside her bed. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“I was hoping you’d stay up with me for a little longer,” The childlike disappointment in her voice was tempting, but just not convincing enough.

She scoffed in response. “You’ll have a fantastic full year of semesters at least to spend with me. I think you can survive one night without me.”

Dina scoffed back mockingly in response. “I’ll find a way to get you to stay up.”

“Do it some other time,” Ellie dismissed grumpily. “Could you hit the lights?”

There was a moment of silence and hesitation – she could sense the idea of spite running through Dina’s mind. But she sighed in defeat and got up and off the bed with a squeak of the mattress. “Fine.”

Ellie hummed in thanks, curling up under the surprisingly comfortable covers, but then again, anything would’ve been comfortable to her in the midst of her exhaustion.

She heard Dina move back to her own bed and shift around for a moment before getting in with another squeal. When she stopped moving, everything went silent. The room, which she would’ve thought to be eerie, was comfortable and warm with the presence of Dina off a few feet behind her, cuddled up in her own bed.

Finally, Dina’s voice cut through the silence one last time. “The beds a bit squeaky, though. Guess we’ll have to find a way to get that sorted out before anything can happen in here.”

_We?_ Ellie barely had time to process anything she had just said – as suggestive as it was – she was half asleep when she heard it. She’d remember it in the morning.

If Dina said anything else after, she definitely didn’t hear, because she was knocked out no more than a minute later.


	2. Pluto Projector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie is starting to get adjusted to the craziness of the scene she's found herself in. Despite all her years in high school, somehow, she still seems to be good at making friends. Especially friends with girls like Kat and Dina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to make this fic based on Rex Orange County songs because I haven't heard a single one that doesn't fit with the themes and/or vibes of the fic and the chapters.
> 
> IT IS HIGHLY SUGGESTED THAT YOU LISTEN TO "PLUTO PROJECTOR" BY REX ORANGE COUNTY WHILE READING THE END. 
> 
> Sorry for the wait! This ended up being a whopping 16,000 words! I plan on making these chapters long, so if it takes a while to post them, I'm really sorry! Hope you enjoy chapter 2!

If there was one thing Ellie had learned from her many unfortunate experiences in high school, it was to never make assumptions. Never make assumptions about anything.

That was the first thought that crossed her mind as light poured in through the cracks in her lids when she slowly opened them out of their slumber. She propped herself up on an elbow slowly, letting her muscles stretch as the morning became apparent around her. The bright light from the window had just nearly blinded her – but when she was faced with the blank ceiling and the walls around her, she suddenly was snapped back down to reality. She remembered everything – Devon, Charlie, the party, the fight, the run, the car, and–

“Man, you sleep for a long fucking time, don’t you?”

Ellie whipped her head around to the other side of the room, where Dina was laying on her side, tucked underneath the covers with her head resting in her palm that was held upright by and elbow placed against the mattress.

_What time is it?_ She wondered quietly, watching Dina’s eyes wander her drowsy face as she brought a hand up to wipe her eyes.

“What? Were you watching me or something, creep?” Ellie joked, noting the way that Dina’s eyes had been intently on her as she’d woken up.

“Maybe,” Dina shrugged smugly, teasingly. “You’re a cute sleeper.”

“Thanks,” Ellie responded in a deadpan, fighting the blood that threatened to crawl up to her cheeks from the compliment. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed and kicking her comforter off in the process, she brought both hands back to her face to wipe her eyes again. With a groan, she stretched her arms. “What time is it?” She asked, voice strained from the stretch.

Dina threw a glance over to the clock that hung in doorway that Ellie hadn’t noticed until that moment. “Nine-sixteen, ma’am.”

“Oh, shit,” she muttered to herself, a slight panic falling over her. “Shit, are we supposed to be doing something today?” She shot Dina a nervous look, desperate for an answer.

She only laughed with mirth. “Not that I know of. But if there was, your sleepy ass definitely would’ve been late.”

“Shut up,” Ellie grumbled. “That isn’t what I was asking.”

“Well, it’s what you got.”

Silence fell between the two of them, and Ellie got up to change. Ellie noticed that directly across from their beds, up against the wall with the door, sat two little wall dressers, one on each side, one for her and one for Dina. They were embedded into the wall, cut out, with a rack above it to hang clothing. That made the door trapped between the two walls, pushing the door inward and creating the smallest little “hallway” leading to it.

Dropping to a knee, Ellie unzipped her luggage and removed some of her clothes to place them on the bed. Now was about the time to quickly sort through them. She didn’t bother to turn around, but she damn well knew what that feeling was on her back. Dina’s eyes were like lasers – anywhere they went, you could feel them.

She paid no mind to her, though. While Ellie was flattered by the interest Dina took in her, she didn’t let it go to her head. She refused to even entertain the idea that Dina was interested in her for any other reason besides being her roommate that she was stuck with for however long, until the year was over. It was always the golden rule – never assume.

The clothes she was in were all wrinkled and smelled lightly of sweat. She knew a shower was in order for later. Some deodorant and body lotion would do her some good until she got the chance to take one. The clothes she was wearing, on the other hand, she knew she’d have to stuff away for the time being until she had a pile big enough to do in a load of laundry. Maybe she and Dina could buddy up for that one.

Gulping down the saliva left in her mouth, she forced herself to take a deep breath that was shaky from embarrassment as she went off into the corner, facing away from the other girl who she _knew_ was watching her, and unbuttoned her jeans to slide them off.

And, just as she suspected, she heard a whistle from behind her as she slid off each pant leg, leaving her only in her boxers.

Shooting a glare over her shoulder but not turning her body, Ellie’s voice was unamused as she tried to hard to hide the embarrassment. “Having fun back there?” She retorted sarcastically; an irritation laced in her voice that only had Dina pressing for more of a response.

“I’d say so,” Dina replied in the snidest, most teasing voice she’d ever heard. “It isn’t every day that I get a show this early in the morning. Definitely not complaining.”

Blood rushed up to her freckled cheeks, her deathly glare being directed into the wall. Those eyes were so piercing with shame and aggravation that she was surprised she didn’t burn holes in the wall a foot in front of her.

Something must’ve given Dina the hint because she fell into silence afterward. Ellie still felt those eyes roaming her, whether they were just unintentionally bold and teasing – which is what seemed to be the case, given what she knew about Dina to begin with – or they were interested, she knew that she was still watching her. Especially when she moved to slide her flannel off of her arms and tug her shirt up and over her head.

Once Ellie was dressed, she took a moment to fix herself up for a minute. Her outfit was for the day was nothing special – it was a very typical outfit for her. A black t-shirt tucked under a gray hoodie, jeans and sneakers to accompany it. Her hair, which she’d messily left in a small ponytail behind her head, with some of the hair left at her neck, she fixed into a tighter-knit bun on the back of her head.

Dina quickly spoke up suddenly, taking her by surprise, considering she’d been pretty convinced her eyes were glued to her the entire time.

“You play guitar, huh?”

Turning with bewilderment, she saw Dina’s eyes glued to her black guitar case that she’d leaned against her bed when moving her luggage. Inside was her beautifully hand-crafted acoustic that Joel had picked out for her years ago before he taught her how to play.

“Yeah,” Ellie answered shyly, a wave of insecurity sweeping her. _Watch this, now this dickhead is going to ask me to play her something._

Dina hummed, and nodded her head, seemingly impressed. Ellie was dumb to think she was in the clear of that killer question she was asked by people all the time – every time people found out she could play, their first question would be asking if she could play something for them. And Dina, of course, was absolutely no different.

It took a moment for her to speak again, but Ellie turned back around to sort out the rest of her clothes, a small, practically silent sight of relief escaping her lips. _Looks like I might be in the clear._

“So, are you gonna play something for me or are you really just gonna keep a girl waiting?” Dina asked boldly. _Of course._ _I spoke too soon. I always speak too soon._

Ellie turned to face her, with a blush creeping up on her face but her lips upturned ever so slightly in an amused, nervous smile. “What? Do you think you’re special or something? I don’t play for people.” Ellie’s arms crossed as Dina raised a brow at her challengingly.

“Not even for little old me?” She pressed, softening her voice into one of feigned innocence, hoping that would push her buttons far enough to get her to play.

With a roll of her eyes, Ellie picked up the case by the neck, placed it flat against the floor, and let it slide along the waxed vinyl tile of the floor of their dorm. She shot her a blank expression before turning back into her luggage and pulling out more clothes. The action only caused Dina’s face to fall into a disappointed deadpan that was fueled on frustration.

“You’re no fun,” Dina sighed, deciding it was time for her to get up, too. Much like Ellie, she swung her legs over the side and the covers were quickly pushed over. Ellie heard the rustling behind her as she stretched and got herself up on her feet.

Ellie definitely chose the wrong time to turn around. As the sight behind her fully registered, Ellie froze dead in her tracks. All the blood in her body left her limbs and flooded to her face immediately.

Dina had taken her luggage and placed it up on the bed, making it easier for her to access her clothes instead of bending down – but that wasn’t the issue. Only sporting a wired bra and very high shorts, Dina’s back was completely borne to her. Dusting of freckles littered across the skin on her lower back and shoulders. Her skin looked unimaginably soft. Ellie’s face lit up at the impure thoughts that snuck their way into her brain that she quickly, almost immediately, shook off with a physical jerk of her head.

It was in that split-second moment that she really got to take it all in that the reality hit her – this girl was really fucking attractive. And she was half naked in front of her? She almost couldn’t take it.

“Jesus, Dina,” Ellie’s wide eyes were covered by a hesitant palm that she brought up to her face as she averted them away. “You know I live here, too, right?”

She could _feel_ the smirk through the skin of her palm that hovered above her eyes.

“What, Ellie?” She pretended to be frustrated, but she could tell Dina was charmed by Ellie’s respect for her. The way she covered her eyes and looked away bashfully – it only fueled her amusement. “Is this a problem for you?”

Thank God she had her head turned, because if she’d gotten a glimpse of the front side of Dina’s half-naked body, she probably would’ve combusted on the spot. _Man, I really need to get better with girls._

“N-No,” _What am I supposed to say to this now? You’ve just made the whole thing fuckin’ awkward. Way to go, Ellie._ “You think that maybe you could sleep with some fuckin’ clothes on?”

“I didn’t realize it bothered you so much, Freckles,” Dina mused, her voice full of mirth and goading that it just made Ellie’s moment of embarrassment worse. “Are you not comfortable seeing other girls naked?”

All her words got caught in the back of her throat. _Jesus Christ._ “I mean… n-no, I didn’t say that–”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” God, the way she spoke was just so teasing. “Figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ellie shot her a defensive glare through her skin, her hand blocking Dina from seeing it as she continued to dress herself.

“Means that you won’t play your fucking guitar for me, so you get to deal with being uncomfortable every morning. That’s what you get for disappointing me.”

“So,” Ellie tried to process how playful she was being. “If I play my guitar for you, you’ll start wearing more clothes?” _Not that I’m really complaining… Oh, stop it, Ellie. You’re gross._

“That’s exactly right,” Dina replied smugly. “So, what’s it gonna be, huh? You gonna play for me?”

A devious smile creeped up on Ellie’s lips. “Sure.”

“Really?” Dina’s excitement got the best of her.

“No.”

A whipping sound echoed in the air as an old shirt smacked her square in the head. Ellie could only giggle and shake the shirt off of her.

“Fuck you.” Dina retorted disappointedly, finally slipping into her jeans. “Asshole.” A deadly glare accompanied the curse as Ellie removed her hand from her face.

Dina had changed into a pretty V-neck blouse-style peach shirt which she had tucked into her jeans. She wore ankle-high boots and slipped a belt around the loops on the waistband. Her hair she tied back into the same bun she had it in last night, only fixing it.

When Dina pulled her hair out of the tie and let it fall, Ellie couldn’t help but stare. Long, black curls fell around perfect shoulder blades and a lithe neck. They looked so soft that Ellie just wanted to reach out and run her fingers through them. Thankfully, Dina was turned around again, or she’d never hear the end of it if Dina caught her admiring her. _Not a chance in Hell that it wouldn’t go to her head._

As Dina turned back around, hair tie in her mouth, Ellie pretended not to have been looking, and she returned her attention to taking the clothes off the bed and floor and carefully slipping them into each of the three small drawers. Her flannels and hoodies, on the other hand, she fit the arms of the coat hangers into them, and let them dangle from the iron bar. Taking a step back, she admired how neat it looked, and she slid the empty luggage cases underneath the bed to accompany her guitar case as she dusted off her hands.

“Lookin’ good there, Red,” Dina remarked, some of her own clothes stacked in her arms, admiring the neat job Ellie did with her corner. “Well, both you and the clothes.”

Ellie furrowed her brows, and glanced to the side, where she saw Dina standing there with a mischievous grin plastered across her face. Once again, the blood that had subsided from before threatened to all rush back up to her face again.

“Do you ever quit?” Ellie sent embarrassed daggers in her direction, this time turning her head to glare at the snarky girl who watched her, intently looking for a reaction and chuckling deviously at the one she got.

“Depends on who it is,” Dina’s tone was sultry – it almost made Ellie dizzy. “And how bad I want their attention.”

Ellie gulped down the lump that built in her throat from Dina’s heavy stare and the way the words rolled off her tongue. _Stop letting this go to your head, you asshole. People like her do this with everyone._ “And what do you do when you don’t get what you want, huh?” Ellie challenged lightheartedly, the sound of her innocence contrasting against Dina’s feisty attitude.

“Well, like I said,” Dina moved to lean against the bedpost nearest to Ellie. Ellie was leaning on the end bedframe, and Dina rested herself against post to her right. She could only look off in a side glance. She couldn’t bring herself to look right at her, not with the way her heart was beating at how boldly close Dina had moved. “I’m used to getting what I want, but…” Dina’s eyes flitted up and down her face. To her lips, to her eyes, and all over, but Ellie refused to look. “Sometimes, I give up. Sometimes, I try harder. All depends on how much I want someone–”

Ellie cut her off with the most nervous laugh she’d ever mustered. She launched herself off the bedframe, nearly hitting the dresser and the coat hanger. She turned back to Dina, scratching and massaging the back of her neck with a strong, sweaty hand. She didn’t even want to imagine how red her face had gotten.

“I can see how stubborn you are,” Ellie dismissed playfully, trying to steady the voice that came out in trembles from the back of her dry throat. “It’s annoying.”

“You love it,” Dina eyed her carefully with a smirk before getting back to her feet and moving back over to her side of the room.

Ellie sighed lightly to herself in relief. Dina being in such close proximity and being so weirdly suggestive like that had completely thrown off her entire heart rhythm. It was startling – the effect she had on her.

“You’re just gonna be a hard one to crack.” Dina said aloud, once again startling Ellie.

_God, this is going to be a long fucking year. This girl is gonna be my fucking downfall, for sure._ Ellie sighed again, this time with a shake of her head before sliding her keys into her jean pockets and throwing her backpack over her shoulder as she got ready to set out for the day.

***

Ellie didn’t even bother to stop for breakfast. She knew Dina was headed there, and despite the convincing, Ellie knew that she wasn’t nearly hungry enough to eat. The whirlwind from the night before and the suggestiveness from that morning had done her in. She just knew that it was probably best to take a look around campus, find her classes, maybe even meet some new people before classes would start in two days.

Part of her wanted to find her friends from the night before – Jayson, Addie, Charlie. Devon had sent her a text earlier that morning letting her know he would be around with some of his classmates from the lab, so going off with him – while it was preferred – was out of the question for now. The loner part of her wished she’d taken her guitar with her to head off toward the off-center of campus, where there was a beautiful field, and off to the side, a little river that passed alongside the university. It dumped right into a little lagoon that had stone seats surrounding the banks. Playing along the water sounded like a wonderful way to unwind.

Instead, she decided to go down to the lagoon anyway, only to catch up on her schedule and review over some of the material in her brand new, expensive music composition textbooks that were required for her courses.

It didn’t take very long for her mind to wander. As she sat down against the stone, feet facing out toward the lake and the backpack beside her, her mind didn’t focus at all on the book on her lap.

The night before was everything that she’d seen in every single cliché, cheesy college film ever. A party, a fight, an unknowing group of friends, a hot girl that happened to be her roommate. There was so much that happened in such a short period of time. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, Ellie kind of liked the adrenaline rush of the party and the fight and her friends.

Her life in Jackson had been so slow and quiet. Sure, her high school had every stereotype in the book, but so did every school. There were plenty of times she recalled getting dragged to parties by her friends, going out to bonfires and meetups, all the whirlwind romances she experienced…

Sometimes, Ellie thought her head was made of steel. So many times, did she miss signs from girls, and so many times did she doubt herself enough that they became disinterested. As much as she hated to admit it, most times a girl would hit on her, Ellie either never reciprocated, or somehow convinced herself that in the moment she wasn’t being hit on. She was clueless by every means.

Leaning back on the stone bench, Ellie watched the water ripple and move with every blow of the breeze, allowing her mind to slip back into the depths of her memory.

She could remember the time she snuck out to her ex-girlfriend’s house like it was yesterday. She remembered her name was Becca. A short, brunette girl with lovely hazel eyes.

One night over the summer going into senior year, this girl she was really into invited her to come out and spend the night. Joel must’ve caught on, since he absolutely refused to let her go, claiming he “had his reasons”, as he did with everything. At about 2am that morning, Ellie climbed out the window from her room and escaped down a ladder which she had strategically set up the evening before after Joel had come inside the house for the night.

Becca had set up her own rope ladder leading up to her window. Since her house was down the street, it didn’t take long to reach it. Ellie remembered the first memory she had after passing through the window was being pulled in by the collar into a searing kiss, the smaller girl pulling her down onto her comforter and trapping her in strings of kisses that would never leave her memory.

Another girl, a grade younger than her – a sophomore at the time – Isabelle, about as tall as Ellie was, with dirty blonde hair and freckles, a skinny and petite stature to her. They had been talking on and off for a few weeks when, one day during school, she snuck into the junior class lunch period, and pulled Ellie to the bathroom after a solid minute of convincing. Once they got in there, Ellie remember one minute seeing Isabelle peek under the stalls before slamming Ellie up against the wall and pressing a string of hard kisses to her lips.

The last girl she really remembered, a girl an inch or two above Ellie, long brown hair and deep blue eyes. Her name was Delia, and she was shy and caring and Ellie met her through a photography elective class. One time, during a nature photoshoot project, at the cherry lake park she remembered so vividly from her childhood, they ended up taking a tour through the forest in search of good shots, which ended with them sitting on a log together. She remembered the spring wind, the trees brushing, the chirp of nature and the mountains that peeked through the canopy of the trees. She also remembered how it felt when a soft hand surprisingly found its way on her face, and the pretty girl leaned in and pressed the gentlest kiss against Ellie’s lips that she’d ever felt.

_Why am I thinking of this right now? What’s the point, even? This is so behind me. I haven’t spoken to any of them in months._ Ellie chastised her mind for recalling those memories, some of which sat painfully on her chest.

_Will college be the same way? Will it be a repeat of all those shitty experiences? Am I gonna be clueless and then find myself falling in love and then end up alone? It happened every time. God, why does romance have to be so complicated?_

That’s when Dina came to mind, of course. That girl was so god damn confusing. What was the connection she instantly felt in the car with her? Why did all of her nerves come down on her, like her entire body was trying to tell her something? It was just so confusing. And the way she flirted – _What the hell was that about?_ From the first minute, especially when she was out of view of everyone else, she was complimenting her, throwing remarks at her, and even got bold enough to try and move over to her up in their dorm.

There was no denying that Ellie was instantly attracted to her. She was ashamed to admit it, but it was true and she knew it. I mean, how could she not be? That beautiful face, littered with marks and freckles, tracing all over her skin. Her perfectly shaped lips that looked so soft, those dark, intense eyes that counteracted against the suppleness.

Ellie had met girls like her before. She wasn’t a stranger to flirting. But many a time did Ellie ever show any kind of mutual attention back, and she was left hanging in the air by a string that she had spun – “she”, taking many shapes and terms before, throughout all her years – left there feeling like the fool for even imagining that she was worthy enough of the same affection many other girls received without hesitation. She knew the way girls like Dina worked – they would flirt, entice her, and then leave her to her own confusions.

_You realize that not every girl is like that, right? Maybe she isn’t straight like you think._ Ellie knew that assuming and grouping Dina in with all of these playful girls right off the bat was a terrible coping mechanism. But what if she was right? There was no really telling unless she tried it out for herself, and the risk seemed to outweigh the reward.

Plus, was it really a good idea to get involved with your roommate? _It could be really fun._ _But it could also be a fucking disaster._ The devil and angel on her shoulders only seemed to confuse her even more.

Gulping down the lump in her throat that collected from her thoughts, she decided to push Dina and the situation with her to the back of her mind. There were other pressing matters that needed a bit more priority than her starving, thoughtful mind and she found it appropriate to focus there. Like the book she held in her hand.

The title read _Music Compositions: The Real Basics of Music_ across the cover. She turned to the page introducing the first chapter, and, of course, her mind couldn’t help itself.

_I wonder what Dina’s major is? I didn’t even get a chance to find out. Not like I have a whole year to do that. But still, what is that girl doing?_

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

The melodic voice made Ellie jump from her nagging thoughts, and quickly her head whipped around to the source of it. Standing beside her, a short girl, just about Ellie’s height. She had dirty blonde hair and crystal-blue eyes. She had two birth marks dotted on her cheek, one in the center and one planted right near the corner of her lips. Her arm had a painted tattoo sleeve that extended to her elbow, but peeked out from under her short shoulder-length sleeve. She was undeniably very pretty.

Ellie skittishly scooted over, as if she were a nuisance in her way. “Oh, yeah, yeah!” She threw an arm out and grabbed her bookbag, sliding it over to her and then dumping it on the dusty floor. “Sorry…”

An amused but deeply genuine smile fell across the girl’s face. “Oh, no, it’s okay,” Placing her books across her chest as she sat, Ellie couldn’t help but watch as she turned to address her. “Sorry if I interrupted anything.”

“What? Oh… no, no!” Ellie insisted anxiously, reciprocating a smile but hers was much shyer. “I was just kinda… lost in thought for a minute there, I guess.” Rubbing the back of her neck bashfully, a nervous chuckle escaped her lips and prompted a brighter look from the pretty girl sitting beside her.

Curiously, the girl leaned over to take a peek at her textbook. “Music comp, huh?”

Again, another anxious, breathy laugh. “Oh, uh, yeah,” Ellie couldn’t help but flash a quiet smile. “Music’s kinda my thing.”

Her eyebrows rose and fell as she nodded her head in understanding. “Do you play?”

“Mostly guitar,” Ellie answered, turning her body slightly to lean an arm against the back of the stone bench. “Piano, a little, and sometimes, drums.”

She nodded again, a one-sided smile tugging up on her lips. “That’s awesome,” She put a silky, fragile hand out toward Ellie. “I’m Kat, by the way.”

Ellie was reluctant to take it out of her own shy insecurity, but she did with an adorably nervous smile. “Ellie,” she introduced herself. “Is that short for something, or?” Part of her choked up on her words, questioning if she sounded rude or not. _God, do you ever talk to girls right?_

“Well, it’s Katherine, but,” A small giggle passed her lips. “Kat works much better.”

“That’s a nice name,” Ellie complimented shyly. In her head, it sounded way less awkward than the way she said it, but then again, she criticized every single word that came out of her mouth in any social situation.

“You’re sweet,” Kat smiled gently. “Thank you.”

A silence fell between them for a moment, Kat’s head falling into her own textbook, while Ellie sat looking nervously out into the water a few yards up. Her eyes wandered back over to the girl, taking note of the roses and thorns pattern inked into her shoulder and bicep. Ellie couldn’t help herself – the small talk kept her comfortable, in some weird way.

“Those tattoos are really nice,” Once again, it came out shaky. “Where’d you get them done?”

Kat turned back with another sweet smile. “Oh, these?” She signaled to her shoulder and arm with a lift of her elbow. “I actually got them done locally. I’ve been in Colorado since my school ended in May. Decided to camp out in a little apartment and get to know the area. There’s a really awesome tattoo place not that far from here, actually. I have other ones from when I lived in Missouri, but this was my first really big one. It goes all the way down my back.” Lifting a gentle hand up, she moved her shirt aside at her collarbone and turned slightly to show Ellie the corner of the huge piece that inked her back.

“That’s so cool,” Ellie’s eyes traced the work in awe. “You plan on getting more?”

“Oh, hell yeah,” She scoffed. “I plan on getting into tattoo design and stuff. I want to do stuff like this on other people.” She jerked her elbow up to accentuate her point. “I started working at the place I got this one from. Well, unofficially, but I did my first couple of tattoos and it was fucking awesome.”

“So, you draw?” An eyebrow cocked up on Ellie’s forehead, the grin still tugging at her lips.

“I do,” She smiled humbly. “Still working on it, but I can show you a couple of designs?”

“Please,” Ellie turned herself further to get a closer look as Kat bent down to reach for a sketchbook that she pulled carefully out of her bag.

Opening to the first page, Kat let Ellie take a look at a beautiful shaded butterfly pattern. The next one was a simple shaded piano pattern that wrapped across the paper. Another was a beautiful, towering tree, and the next was a foreign sun pattern. Every one of them had Ellie in awe.

“These are literally amazing, Kat,” Big eyes found their way back to a smiling face, then astonishingly back at the paper.

Closing the book and pressing it to her chest, a sweet laugh escaped past her lips. “Aw, thank you.” She turned to her questionably. “You ever thought about getting one?”

“Oh, definitely,” Ellie was quick to respond. _Joel would’ve kicked my fucking ass if I ever did. Especially while back in Jackson._ She was about to continue her thought, give her a few ideas, before she was interrupted.

Ellie’s phone buzzed in her pocket, interrupting her next thought that was just about to become words she spoke. Pulling it out of her pocket and looking down at it, there was a text from an unknown number that read:

_“Hey El, it’s Addie.. dev game me ur number. u should def come meet us for lunch at the west park… jay ordered food for us. If u don’t come, ur kind of a loser.”_

A breathy chuckle pushed out of her nose. Sliding her phone back in her pocket, she was met with an amused, quizzical look from the girl beside her. “What?” She asked.

“Oh, no, nothing,” Ellie dismissed, a bashful rub to the back of her neck. “I gotta get going in a minute. Some of my friends are waiting on me for lunch.”

“Oh, okay, no worries,” Kat assured with a genuine smile. “Here, you should really take my number, though. We need to hang out sometime.”

Ellie couldn’t fight the smile that grew across her lips. “Oh, really? I don’t think I’m all that interesting.”

Kat rolled her eyes with lighthearted amusement. “Give me your phone.” Ellie placed her cellphone in an outstretched hand, and quickly Kat’s number fit right into her phone. When she handed it back, Kat had made the contact name “kat :)”.

Standing reluctantly, she threw her backpack over her shoulder after sliding her books into it. “Well, let me get out of here. It was really nice talking to you.” Ellie admitted sweetly. Her comfort level had been much more defined after their peaceful conversation.

“You, too,” Kat replied. “Have fun at lunch!”

Ellie found herself really wanting to invite her to come. What was the harm in it, anyway? But she knew that these were her friends that she had just met – she didn’t want to step on any toes. Besides, they invited _her._ Part of her knew they wouldn’t care less, but the other part knew that it was just best if she kept the two bodies separate. Kat could come along in due time.

“See you around,” Ellie swallowed her thoughts with a smile, and turned off, ignoring the eyes that burned into her back as she walked away.

***

“Look who decided to show up,” Charlie sneered, leaning up against the main fountain.

The West Park on the UEC grounds was just on the border of the entire campus. It was a pretty green park full of trees, flowerbeds, and walkways. There were benches littered all over, and little fountains circling on the grass around the main fountain. It was a gorgeous day out, prompting many kids to be walking around and enjoying the fresh air, while Ellie’s friends all grouped around by the fountain, two boxes of pizza stacked up on the bench.

Beside the boxes on the bench, Jayson was leaned over with a plate in his hands and a slice in the other. He had a t-shirt on, his signature jacket tossed on the arm of the bench. Charlie leaned up right beside it, a plate with a slice on it placed to his right, his arm crossed and untouching it. Addie, Devon, and Dina all grouped around on the floor – Devon’s legs were crossed and he had his plate resting on his lap. Addie sat on her legs, the bottom half of them pressed together and jutted out to the side, using an extended arm to hold her up against the grass. Dina sat across from them, legs pulled up and her arms resting on her knees, her plate right beside her.

The sight was one for sore eyes. It was crazy to think that they’d all been on the run from danger just the night before, Ellie never really having met either one of them personally, and now there they were, relaxing on the green park grass, sharing a quick lunch.

Dina patted the grass beside her. “Get down here, idiot, you’re late.”

“Wait,” Addie protested. “Let her get some pizza first, girl, damn.”

With a roll of her eyes, Dina only shot Ellie a grin as she smiled in return, going over to take one of the paper plates Jayson must’ve picked up from the pizzeria, and taking a plain slice for herself. She was quick to sit beside her roommate who eagerly inched closer to her comfortably.

“So, how you likin’ it, Ellie?” Addie’s sweet smile was so pleasantly comforting.

Taking a bite too early, with a full mouth she nodded. “Oh, it’s good,” She swallowed hard and hastily to respond. “I really like it here, actually.”

“Dina, you like it, too?” Addie turned to her friend inquisitively.

Furrowing her brows and nodded her head. “Oh, yeah, it’s gorgeous.”

“Well, hey, if you guys ever get lost or anything,” She gave them all a soft look. “Don’t be afraid to ask me or either of these goons.” She cocked her head behind her to where Jayson and Charlie only quietly and peacefully observed their conversation. They both shot a dirty look to the back of her head as she turned to her cousin beside her. “Same goes for you.”

Ellie chuckled to herself remembering how Devon was the first to talk to her on campus, looking for the science building.

“Thank you,” Ellie replied with a gentle tone. “I’m actually okay – I’ve been here before.”

“Did you visit or something?” Jayson chimed in, wanting to include himself in the conversation but doing a not-so-subtle job at it.

“Yeah,” Ellie swallowed another bite of her pizza. “My dad and I came last year to tour. We stuck around for a few days to get a better idea of, like, the area and stuff. Then we came back for orientation. But I’ve got a pretty good idea of the campus in my head.”

“Oh, random question,” Addie nearly cut her off, wiping her face with a napkin to rid the corners of her lips from any sauce from her last bite. “What the hell are you even majoring in? I realized I have no idea.”

“Music,” Ellie answered with a grin.

“We got the fucking Music Man on our hands over here,” Charlie remarked, shooting her a sly smirk when she furrowed her brows at him, unamused.

“Wait, so what do you play?” Addie asked with a brightness of curiosity in her eyes, ignoring Charlie’s playful antics behind her.

“Guitar, mainly,” Ellie’s hand found its way on the back of her neck again. _I really need to stop doing that. It’s like a dead giveaway that I’m an insecure wreck._ “A little piano, but I always found it kinda hard, and I played drums in high school, too.”

Addie shot her a playfully disappointed look. “So, you play all of this and you waited this long to tell us?” The raise of an eyebrow prompted a scoff from the short girl beside her.

“Please, I’ve been trying to get her to play since this morning,” Dina mumbled with an insincere disgruntlement.

“Well, I didn’t exactly have a lot of time to _tell you,”_ Ellie protested, “Devon and I were kinda running for our lives last night.”

Devon hummed amusedly in agreement.

“Yeah, wait, so what the hell happened yesterday?” Jayson suddenly butt in again, Addie looking to him in a wondrous agreement.

Addie pulled Devon’s arm over, receiving a whine of protest as he held onto the slice in his hand harder. “Did you see this kid’s knuckles?”

“Hey!” Devon yanked his arm back frustratedly.

Addie rolled her eyes in amusement. “No, but really,” She turned back and leaned forward to lock eyes with Ellie. “You gotta tell us.”

So, she did. Ellie went into complete depth about how she and Devon met, outside the house, by the tree and the bushes. How it took a minute for Devon to swallow his anxiety and go in. She recounted the entire encounter of her getting pulled off by a girl at the party to get a drink, how the two friends got separated. Devon chimed in at that point to explain how he got into the living room – he just figured trying to have fun would’ve been better than sulking and being scared, but just as Ellie found him, he had already given up on that, and he succumbed to his anxieties. Ellie then continued to tell them about Ben, which Jayson scoffed and called him a “drunk fool”, shaking his head as Ellie described the events leading up to Devon amazingly socking him across the face in self-defense, and how she shoved Ben off before she came back to retaliate. She finished it off describing their mad dash out of the house, and led it up to how Devon ended up calling them and how they came in to save them. The entire group listened to her with rapt attention.

“That’s fuckin’ nuts,” Jayson scoffed, shaking his head with wide eyes.

“Y’all still couldn’t even last thirty damn minutes,” Charlie laughed to himself, much like he did the night before. Ellie found more humor in it that time around, rather than the night before.

Addie nudged her cousin playfully. “Good job, kid.”

Dina only watched her with wonder. “Look at you, hero,” she teased.

“Yeah, you pushed Ben off of him?” Jayson asked in a realization of disbelief.

Ellie’s face lit up lightly from the positive attention. “Well, yeah. I threw him off and grabbed him to run.” She shot Dina an amused glance. “Wouldn’t really call it heroics or anything.”

“You threw a drunk jock off of a tiny nerd like him,” Dina laughed off the death glare Devon threw her. “I’d call that pretty damn brave.”

Again, her hand found its way to the back of her neck, but she halted herself a second later, before lifting the pizza slice to her mouth and taking a bite, shrugging gently with raised eyebrows. She still had her eye contact with Dina, but there was something puzzling about the stare she was given back.

Dina’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but Ellie caught it. That promiscuous intensity had faded from the murky pools, replaced with an inquisitive stare. It seemed like Dina was trying to read her – maybe she had misjudged her – like she was trying to squeeze every bit of information out from behind Ellie’s eyes with her own. Ellie didn’t back down, though, she pretended not to notice how hard Dina was reading into her forest green with her own dark lake. Ellie never realized how pretty her eyes were until that moment.

“So, ladies,” Addie smiled, the subject comfortably fading away. “How’s the dorm situation?”

Ellie turned to her with a chuckle and a one-sided grin. “Oh, you heard, huh?”

“It’s nice, actually,” Dina answered over her, the intensity vanishing back into brightness as the conversation continued to flow. “We both pretty much got our stuff unpacked this morning.”

“Yeah,” Ellie hummed in agreement, then shooting her an unamused glance. “I got pestered all morning.”

“No, you did not,” Dina insisted, resisting a chuckle. “I just wanted you to play guitar.” She huffed charismatically with a stubborn cross of her arms.

Ellie rolled her eyes. Her heart swelled at the playfulness between them. “You totally did. You even tried to bribe me!” She protested sweetly, Dina nudging her hard on the arm and nearly knocking her plate out of her hand.

“Oh, I believe it,” Addie mused with a roll of her eyes, her head shaking. “I absolutely believe you annoyed the shit out of her, D.”

Dina shot her a dirty look. “Shut the fuck up. You love me.”

“You fucking wish,” Charlie quipped with a hand cupping the side of his mouth, targeted at pissing Dina off. It seemed to work.

“Keep going, asshole, and I’ll give you a reason not to like me,” Dina shot back, shutting Charlie up instantly as he laughed.

A comfortable silence fell among them momentarily, and Ellie saw it fit to take another bite of her slice. As she was taking a bite, a little breeze picked up, sending the plate in her lap up in the air before Ellie launched forward to catch it. Addie jumped to catch the napkins that had started to take off, and even Charlie had to grab his plate.

“Fuck,” he cursed irritably.

The curt wind was only brief, Charlie grumbling at it as Ellie placed her slice down on her plate and looked to resume the conversation with her friends.

“Hey,” Dina’s surprisingly soft voice had Ellie’s head turning, and with a gentle face she reached over beside her to grab from the handful of napkins she kept, and leaned forward with one of them in hand. “You got a little something on your face.”

Ellie instinctively brought a hand up to her mouth to scout for the embarrassing bit of food that Dina had seen on her face, but Dina quickly pushed her hand away. As she got closer, Ellie couldn’t deny her heart skipping a beat, especially when Dina brought the napkin up to her chin to wipe off a little bit of sauce that had stained her face as she launched forward suddenly in the wind.

Her dark, studious eyes focused hard on her skin as she wiped off the sauce little by little, leaving Ellie to helplessly watch her and analyze her face that was mere inches from her own. As she slowly brought the napkin up on her face a couple of times, Dina lingered in place for a moment, examining the spot she wiped to assure there was nowhere she missed, before taking a long glance into Ellie’s wide, inquisitive eyes that watched her with a fascination and fervor she lacked to have with anyone else.

Admittedly, Ellie was disappointed when she moved away, back to her original spot in the grass, only having shifted a short distance to reach Ellie’s face which had been right beside her. Part of her was relieved, as Dina’s presence was so intimidating to her – in a way that she couldn’t decide whether it was bad nor good, but all she knew is that Dina’s intense eyes and pretty face made her heart race every time.

Addie’s voice broke through the charged encounter, reminding Ellie that their friends were still, in fact, right there, prompting a light blush to crawl across her face. If Addie or anyone else did notice the intense moment between them, they sure didn’t say so. Ellie couldn’t decide if that was more comforting or less comforting.

“So, you guys have any cool ideas for your dorm?” Addie pressed excitedly. “I mean, come on, you gotta sneak us all in there one day and we gotta just party.”

Dina was quick to answer with a brightness in her voice that Ellie knew was god damn infectious. “Of course? We gotta come up with some, though,” She shot Ellie a cheerful smile. “This artsy geek can help me come up with something for sure.”

“I mean, yeah,” Addie pressed. “If you’re gonna have friends up there, you gotta make it a super cool chillout spot, y’know? Nobody likes people with lame dorm rooms.” Addie teased in a patronizing voice, causing both girls to smile amusedly at her antics.

“We’ll come up with something,” Dina assured, taking a bite from her pizza that she’d barely touched.

“Have you guys had any trouble making friends?” Charlie asked mockingly. “I’m sure you wonderful underclassmen folk have had an easy time.”

“You are literally a freshman,” Ellie muttered in a deadpan, just as Jayson asked a question that nearly cut her off.

“Oh, speaking of, who was your friend from earlier?”

Ellie furrowed her brows curiously at him, and he picked up her lack of understanding.

“That girl, the blonde one,” Jayson clarified. “The one you were with on the bench by the lake.”

Addie was quick to tease. “Ooh…” The whistle that followed from behind her from Charlie didn’t help.

“How’d you see?” Ellie fought the blush that was burning her skin, but she was sure that it didn’t work out very well for her.

“On my way out to get the pizza, I saw you guys hanging out over there. You guys close?” Jayson asked innocently, but Ellie’s anxiety wasn’t soothed by just a gentle smile.

“Oh, no,” Ellie insisted. “She’s just a girl I met today.”

Addie tilted her head curiously. “Is she cool?”

“Oh, yeah, she’s cool,” Ellie nodded with a brief grin, looking back down at her the ground bashfully. A familiar pair of wandering eyes was back on her again – Ellie could feel it.

“You should bring her around sometime,” Addie’s sweet tone was irresistibly kind.

“Yeah, she’s cute, too,” Charlie’s remark from behind her prompted Ellie to look up from the grass she carefully toyed with beneath long fingers, eyes burning lasers into his skin as she glared, but quickly found her eyes glued back to the grass.

Ellie neglected to comment any further. But an awkward, tense silence from Dina was quickly relieved by her own words. It was a quick change of attitude, but very noticeable.

“Yeah, you should have her come next time we meet up,” Dina reluctantly looked up, meeting Ellie’s puzzled gaze with an intense, challenging one. “She seems nice, I’d really like to meet her.”

There was something so wicked about that stare, and the poisonous words that fell from her mouth.

A buzzing from Jayson’s coat pocket interrupted the rigid interaction. He quickly held the phone up to his face to read it, before his eyes widened and he jumped up from the bench. “Oh, shit,” He hastily threw his arms through the sleeves and threw his backpack over a shoulder. “I gotta go guys. I’ll talk to y’all later.” With that he took off mysteriously, leaving the group confused but dismissive, all except for Charlie.

“Hey, who the fuck is supposed to clean up after you, you fucking asshole?” Charlie called after him angrily, motioning an arm to the dirty paper plate with the pizza crust still atop resting on the bench.

When he didn’t get a response, he sighed heavily and grumbled, reaching over to collect the plate and stack on his with a disgruntled slam.

Dina’s eyes held a dimly lit fire behind dark pools for the rest of the time they were there. Something seemed to have really bothered her, but she did a damn good job at hiding it. Luckily for Ellie, she was just better at reading it. She wasn’t so clueless, not when she was really trying. And she definitely didn’t miss the angry shift of discomfort in the girl next to her when Ellie’s phone, which she had left on the grass beside her plate, buzzed harshly, and a notification with Kat’s name popped up front and center on the screen.

***

The rest of the day went by like a breeze. The friends stayed in the park for a while longer, talking and learning about one another. For example, she actually got a chance to learn the groups’ numbers, and even their majors.

Addie had come to UEC to study international business and demographics, as she always wanted to be a businessowner of a global chain – something like McDonald’s, but less fattening and disgusting, as she compared it to. She also told her that Jayson’s focus was architecture and business, wanting to work for a well-rounded construction company, and maybe even start his own. Devon, she knew had a target interest of chemical engineering, and planned to major in that to kickstart his career as a professional owner of pharmaceutical company. Charlie went into UEC as an undecided major, since he genuinely had no idea what he wanted to do with his life, but he hinted at the idea of taking over his father’s plumbing business, claiming he “may have no other choice.”

Dina, on the other hand, was majoring in something that actually knocked the wind out of her with surprise. Dina had told her that she was actually majoring in dance, and had the dream of teaching it or owning a studio, or, as she said, if she got lucky, making it up to the stages in New York City or something.

“Have you danced before?” Ellie had asked stupidly.

She had told her that she danced all throughout her childhood, and she even ended up on her school’s dance team. It was hard for Ellie to hide the wonder from her face – it just wasn’t something she had expected. Truthfully, she had no idea what she’d really _expected,_ but a dancer definitely wasn’t it. Dina had the stature for it, though, she knew that. And the confidence.

Ellie snapped from her thoughts with a crack of the door. Putting her key away in her pocket and closing the door behind her, she was greeted with the darkness of the comfy little room. She doesn’t turn the ceiling lights on, rather just the little lamp that’s dim but touching, and parts the curtains of the window to allow the moonlight to come in, too.

As she parted the curtains, she got a good look outside. In the night air, the lights of the campus were bright and boisterous – every building, save for a few of the education buildings. All of the student halls, the library, the study halls, the restaurants – all of it was open and bright in the night sky. It was a peaceful sight to behold.

It was just short of ten o’clock, and she sat back down on the bed with a sigh, and her eyes found their way to ceiling, focusing on the unlit bulbs behind closed glass. Her mind was racing with all her thoughts – about her friends, about the introductions to her classes the next morning, about their empty room and how it was so odd without Dina being there.

Dina’s presence, while it intimidated Ellie, it brought her a sense of comfort. She was one of the first faces she’d woken up to that morning in that foreign, strange place. She was one of the first people she actually _talked_ to. She was one of the first people to make her laugh and welcome her. Even if she was a pain in the ass the way she so shamelessly flirted with her – which she knew was just to get under her skin and embarrass her – she was charmed by it, admittedly, as flustered as it made her. That constant, throbbing need in the back of her mind that yearned for the attention of a girl, or multiple girls, or a whole group of people was slowly sated every time those dark eyes and that devious grin fell upon her.

Looking from the ceiling over to Dina’s side of the room, she took note of all the little details. The organization strategy she’d taken for her cubby – hanging pretty blouses and sweaters, tucking regular shirts, pants, and jeans into the cabinets. Her luggage and her backpacks were poking out from beneath the bed. On the night table they shared in between their beds, she saw a bottle of water with only half the water left in it, and beside it, a little bracelet that Ellie definitely didn’t notice before.

Ellie couldn’t help herself. Getting to her feet, she made her way over to Dina’s side and let her fingers slowly fall on the little straps that held it together. It was a beautiful bracelet – a peculiar hand charm with a blue eye in the center of the palm. _Maybe it means something,_ Ellie wonders, throwing a glance to the door before picking it up into her large hands.

The bracelet was intense the way it felt in her palms. She examined every leather strap and the way it wrapped around a small, fragile wrist. She tried to grasp at her memory and remember if she’d seen Dina wearing it before. When nothing came to mind, she just brushed it off and continued to admire it. As lost in wonder as she was at the small bracelet in her hands, the distant soft music playing away from one of the open dorm windows beside her own, she was immediately ripped from her thoughts as the sound of a door slamming open behind her boomed and echoed in the small room.

Jumping from fright and nearly dropping the bracelet, she quickly tossed it down on the table where it was beforehand, turning quickly, leaning back on the table to avoid suspicion. Dina’s excited face came bursting through, a laptop in her hand and her small bag being tossed over to her side of the room.

“Jesus, Dina,” Ellie sighed out, her breath shaky. “A little bit of a warning next time, maybe?”

“What?” Dina shot her a grin that accompanied a coy tilt of her head. “Was I interrupting something?” She must’ve taken note how close to her side of the room she was, but it didn’t seem like she wanted to comment on it.

“No, but you don’t know what I was doing in here,” Ellie shot her an annoyed look to retaliate against that smirk.

“Maybe I wanna find out,” Dina’s sultry voice had a chill running through Ellie’s body, but she controlled it as to not give the girl the satisfaction that just her words alone had Ellie reeling sometimes.

Ellie scoffed, dropping the subject. “What’d you come running in here like that for?” Her tone was pressing, but underneath hid a concerned taste. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, no, I’m all good,” Dina assured, laptop in one hand and another reaching out to grab a strong wrist on the taller girl in question. “Look, come look at this.” She tugged her toward her bed, startling Ellie in the process, but she just went along with it.

Dina sat cross-legged on the bed, leaning up against the wall, signaling to Ellie, who had one leg out on the floor and one knee tucked up on the bed in confusion, to join her. Reluctantly, she did. Leaning up against the wall, a strong shoulder pressed up against a soft one, and eyes flitted down to the screen of the computer in Dina’s lap. On it, was a website full of pictures and explanations – Ellie caught that the pictures showed all different kinds of dorm room ideas.

“Okay, look at some of these,” Dina insisted, going to the ‘pictures’ tab under the website. There was a whole array of pictures, all different rooms with all different bed styles, walls full of pictures and frames, all kinds of new furniture, chairs, couches, desks. Ellie scanned each picture with wonder, Dina watching her face and eyes focus. “Look how fucking cool!”

Her excitement was adorable. “Yeah, no, these are cool,” Ellie replied with a stoic pleasure as she looked over each picture. “These are actually really awesome.” She turned to Dina’s joyful eyes that watched her with hope. “You planning on doing one of these?”

“Well, only if you’re on board,” Dina suggested, voice teaming with optimism.

“Oh, no, of course,” Ellie’s eyebrows rose with surprise at Dina’s hesitation, and her consideration for her. “Of course, we can pick one.”

“You’re the best,” Dina blinked and nudged her, the sincerest of smiles tugging on her lips. Quickly, she averted back to scrolling through. “You got any ideas in mind, Red?”

“Honestly, no,” She chuckled nervously. “I’ll go with whatever you want, really.”

Dina hummed in thought. “Well, here, let’s take a look.”

The girls sat there for God knows how long, spending the seconds and minutes and even hours away looking through countless websites, countless stores, looking for just about anything that both of them fancied. It was a long process, but being curled up beside Dina and scrolling through all these exciting ideas had Ellie very content.

Every once and a while, Ellie would throw a glance at the clock’s direction, but it was never her first priority to check – not in the situation she found herself in.

After hours of looking, Dina’s energy started to fade away, her eyes began to droop, and her shoulders began to sag against the wall. At that point, Ellie was gentle as she reached over and took the laptop from her, letting the responsibility fall on herself. Just as the laptop was taken from Dina’s complying, drained arms, a pressure landed against Ellie’s strong shoulder. Surprised, she side-eyed the girl next to her, who had exhaustedly let her head lull against Ellie’s shoulder, unwilling to fall back into her bed, instead choosing to rest on the girl next to her. It had the skin of her cheeks turning to flames, but it also stitched a smile across her lips.

_There are so many options to choose from_ , she marveled as she continued to scroll through the same website that Dina had been on, liking a lot of the ideas but not finding the right fit. She couldn’t help but indulge herself in the soft breaths of the girl beside her whose chest moved up and down at each inhale and exhale, whose eyes were flitted shut on the most peaceful face she’d ever seen.

Ellie doesn’t remember falling asleep. In the quietness of the night, accompanied by the feeling of warmth from the girl on her shoulder, she must’ve slipped away into a haze, dozing off with her head tucked back and pressed up against the wall. When she glanced at the clock, it read _2:44am._

_Shit,_ she cursed wordlessly, jumping at the realization of the time but quickly remembering to be as careful as she possibly could. She let Dina’s head roll off her shoulder and into her arms, which slowly brought her back from her sleep.

“Hey, what time is it?” She murmured to Ellie as she wiped her eyes, realizing where she was and where she’d been. Her voice was driven by exhaustion.

“Really late,” Ellie’s soft chuckle was deep and slurred with weariness. “You should get to bed.”

“Yeah…” Dina was so out of it that it was almost adorable. She made her way over to the covers, and slipped inside them as Ellie crawled off her bed, laptop carefully tucked into her arm. Dina turned to face the wall, bringing the covers up to her chin and closing her eyes once more. Ellie closed the laptop and placed it beside the bracelet on the table.

Tired out of her mind, Ellie slipped into her own bed, not even bothering to change. She was way too drained to even contemplate staying up. As she slid into the comforter, she heard the low voice of the exhausted girl from the other room.

“Goodnight, dork,” Dina muttered, sighing a soft breath before going quiet with sleep.

Her smile was immediate. “Goodnight.”

***

The morning was up and gone like Ellie had never seen before. Her classes introduction schedule required her to be up nice and early at about 7:30, while Dina’s lucky ass got to sleep in to 8:30, she would later find out. It didn’t help the envy that pierced her chest as she looked back at the sleeping girl before taking off out the door with her backpack.

Music Theory and Composition was no walk in the park ­– Ellie knew this going in. But each of her professors had a strictly run schedule that she knew she couldn’t dart around, even if she tried. She had set up her classes to be mostly in the morning, with her days off being Wednesday and Friday, aside from the weekends. But since today was a tour of each of her classes, she knew she was in for a ride.

Most of her courses were basic college courses – your typical math, English, histories. She was even taking a second language, which she chose to be Latin. But then there were the two major elective classes she knew she wanted to knock out her freshman year. She decided to take an arranging class, accompanied by a long and tedious music history class.

All in all, Ellie definitely didn’t have many complaints about the situations in each class that she found herself in. Quite frankly, she enjoyed a challenge in her musical life from time to time. If she wanted to go into arrangement and composition, just as she’d always wanted to do since she started investing her time into music, she knew that it would be an uphill battle. Not that she was opposed, she just knew she was in for it.

Her head was spinning from all the information in each class – there was so much to keep track of. Some professors wanted binders, some wanted notebooks. Some wanted a certain _brand_ of binder, and others didn’t give a shit what you did, so long as you passed their class. Each of them had passed out handouts, paperwork, and syllabuses, which didn’t help a very disorganized Ellie process any of that information. She stuffed those papers into a folder and vouched to read them later, because that was just how she operated.

While she didn’t have many negatives to attribute to her experiences from class to class, there was one “assignment” she was given already from her arranging class. The professor, Dr. Hilton, had cheerfully requested they record a song – whether it was on their phones or laptops, he didn’t care – to show off some of your skill from the beginning, and to have a record of your progress in the future. He claimed that he didn’t have a preference to what kind of song it was, nor did he care whether or not there were lyrics. And finally, he declared that he wanted each song to be unique in their own way – memorable, maybe – but it didn’t necessarily have to be an original.

_What the hell am I even gonna do for that?_ Ellie sighed as she walked along campus, headed off for the center of campus to wander. She still had time until her next orientation.

Part of her wanted to call Dina and meet up if she could. Maybe hang around and search for some new ideas for their dorm. She definitely hadn’t forgotten about the night before, and how the smaller girl had found her head on Ellie’s shoulder, curled up against her roommate. It sent butterflies to her stomach and a tickle in her chest.

Just as she was reaching for her phone to find Dina’s contact, she was hastily interrupted by a small hand gripping her shoulder from behind. Spinning around, she was met with the smiling face of Kat from the day before.

“Fancy meeting you here, huh?” Kat’s sweet voice was bolstering with cheer.

Ellie was quick to overcome the shock and a smile formed on her lips. “Oh, hey, it’s you. How’s it going?”

An animated shrug had Ellie’s shy smile only grow. “It’s going decently. Lots of shit to process… it’s kina a lot.” Her light chuckle was a lovely sound.

“Yeah, I get that,” Ellie sighed in agreement, a hand scratching under a firm jaw awkwardly. “My head feels like it’s about to explode.”

“What classes do you have left?”

“I have my math and English left,” She answered thoughtfully. “I have math scheduled for Monday at one, and English for Wednesdays at 3.”

“Oh, now that you say that,” Kat’s eyes widened and her brows shot up in realization. “I have English on Wednesday, too.” Ellie actually got excited for a moment. “I’m not sure what time or what professor, but hey, maybe there’s a chance we’ll have a class together!”

The idea of Kat having a class with her was more exciting than Ellie had initially expected. She’d been entirely alone up to this point. All of her classes were full of strange faces sitting in seats all around her. Hers would outshine them all.

“Yeah, maybe,” Ellie tried to push out some optimism from her usually doubtful mind.

“Hey, I meant to ask,” Kat remembered suddenly, reached a hand out to nudge against an arm. “You said you wanted to get a tattoo, right?”

Ellie felt a hard mound building in her throat. “Yeah…” she answered carefully. “What about it?”

“Why don’t you…” Kat moved forward, standing in front of her, spotting the strings of her hoodie stuck underneath the neck, carefully lifting and pulling them out as she spoke, wary of making eye contact with the taller girl. “Come with me after all this is done, and maybe you can look at some ideas with me? They’ve got a whole collection, and they even do custom ones. I think it would be fun to get out a little?” Those crystal-blues jerking up to meet forest-greens.

_Oh, God, do I actually have the nerve to say yes?_ “Sure.” _Guess I do._

Her decision was mindless – she’d wanted to make a bit of a change since she arrived in Colorado. In her mind, back in Jackson, she knew she wanted to embrace her own decisions and her newfound adulthood. What better way to do so then to take the first step in a tattoo parlor scouting out ideas?

“Really?” Her eyes lit up, almost like she wasn’t expecting that answer. Her hands dropped from the fabric of her hoodie, and it prompted a smile from the taller girl.

“Yeah, definitely,” Ellie insisted, with a nervous chuckle and a shrug. “Like you said, doesn’t hurt to get out a little, right?”

“Awesome!” She exclaimed. “When is all your stuff done?”

“Probably like 5?”

“Oh, I’ll be done by then,” Kat nodded curtly. “So, you wanna meet up by the park after? The place is literally down the street. Maybe a five-minute walk?” Her guess was more reliable than Ellie’s.

“Okay, sounds good.”

Excitement ran rampant at Ellie, the adrenaline automatically picking up in her veins. A tattoo was something she’d wanted for so long, something she’d asked Joel for countless times, only to get shut down immediately each time. Now she was finally able to just walk over and pay for her own. The realization of that freedom – that liberation of adulthood and decision – was exhilarating and exciting; it had her heart racing at the idea of making that choice for herself.

“Alright, well,” Kat turned slightly, giving Ellie one of the sweetest looks she’d ever received. “I’ll see you then.”

Ellie watched her turn and go with a daze of excitement and admiration. _This girl might just be my downfall._ And then Ellie realized that she thought the same exact thing about Dina, and suddenly nothing made sense anymore.

***

Everything went by much faster around her as her mind liked to remind her of the plans that she had for the end of the day. Her mind did that with most things. But she only had one class left to go and her brain had pretty much checked out by that point. In her English intro class, she’d even left her to doodle some designs for tattoos with a rusty hand that hadn’t artistically touched a paper in so long that she couldn’t even recount the last time she’d drawn.

She was one of the first to be in the classroom. She shook the hand of her quite lovely professor, Dr. Martin, as she stood in the front of the room with a friendly smile to accompany light brown eyes. She was small and petite, just about Devon’s height. She handed Ellie the preparatory packet for the class, and directed her to sit wherever she pleased.

Students began to file in, one after the other, and every face she saw was different from the ones in her other courses. _God, how many students are in my graduating class?_ UEC was a big school – she knew that much. But nowhere in her knowledge did she expect these many different, unique faces to be in every one of her classes. Slowly but surely, more students came in, and Ellie watched each of them pour in, every individual unalike and contrasting in both appearance and personality, from what she read. But then, she saw one face that made her heart plummet to the ground.

That fair, beautiful, freckled face and dark eyes. A thin, petite frame in a very familiar set of clothes, black curls tucked back in a bun that she’d seen for days in a row.

Ellie was so quick to turn and pretend she didn’t see her. Panicked, she turned and faced the front, knowing the inevitable was about to happen. The seats next to her were empty, but she knew it wouldn’t be for long. Why was she so shy around her? While, yes, she was most definitely excited to see her in the class, the nervousness trumped over that. The need to crawl back into her shell like a startled tortoise overtook her. She hated being so socially frail.

“This seat taken?” That snarky voice had Ellie side-eyeing the girl next to her before turning and wordlessly looking at her. “Never mind, I don’t care.” Pulling the seat out of the long desk and sitting beside her, Dina’s gorgeous features took over her whole stability.

“Hi,” Ellie’s voice was breathy, both from excitement and surprise.

“I didn’t realize you planned math for the same time as me, Freckles,” Dina teased, placing her packet out in front of her desk and throwing an elbow against the hardwood to use as a leverage point as she placed her head against her palm, eyes wandering Ellie’s face in search of any kind of emotion to read.

“Hah, yeah, I didn’t either,” She chuckled honestly. Swallowing hard but taking in a breath of relief, she sighed with contentment as her initial anxiety passed overhead. “I’m really glad you’re here, actually.”

“Well, aren’t you cute?” Dina smiled sweetly, reaching an arm down to pull out her laptop. “Hey, speaking of cute.” She opened up the laptop and quickly typed in the password. “Check this out.”

They still had a bit of time before the introduction started. Pulled up on the screen in a tab that read the same link as the one from the night before was a picture of a full dorm room with a setup much like their own. On the walls, string lights decorated the light eggshell paint, accompanied by polaroid pictures and little frames. Two gray double beds were pressed into each corner. There was a small white loveseat on one side, and a pretty white desk with a rolling chair and a bookshelf overhead on the other. In the center, a glass night table, much like theirs, separating the two beds. Ellie was in love with it.

“That’s… so nice,” Ellie marveled, a satisfied look creeping across Dina’s face at her ability to blow Ellie away with the idea she found. “I really like it.”

“And the best part about this website is they give you a direct link on where to buy all of the stuff in the picture,” Dina added, a puff of excitement and pride at her find in her chest.

“No, we seriously have to get this stuff,” Ellie’s eyebrows were still lifted with amazement at the room. “I’ll pay for most of it, if I have to.” She offered, her well-saved credit card sitting in her wallet being the main push for the idea.

“Absolutely not,” Dina shot it down immediately. “We can split it.” She glanced at her playfully. “What, do you think I’m broke or something, Williams?”

“N-No!” Ellie stuttered on her words, horrified at the implication. “Not at all.”

Dina nudged her lightheartedly. “Relax, I’m fucking with you,” She turned back to the screen and continued to inform her. “I looked into some of the prices for this stuff already, and it’s seriously not bad. Way better than I thought.”

“Where are we gonna get the polaroid pictures and stuff, though?” Ellie knew damn well she definitely did not come prepared with any polaroids, or any pictures of any kind, really. She had one picture of her and Joel in her wallet from before she left, but that was about it.

“That’s the point,” Dina answered, reading the obvious confusion in Ellie’s silence. “We have to make the wall of pictures ourselves.”

“Okay,” Ellie got it, but then asked another question. “Well, do you have a polaroid camera?”

“Well, no…” Dina muttered. “But we can always order one?” She changed into a new tab and went on a shopping website. “Here, let’s see the earliest it would get here we ordered it tonight.” She went through the process of putting it in her cart, and checking out, but the delivery date was set much farther than she would’ve liked. “Three weeks?! You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Ellie tried to ease her disappointment gently. “Hey, don’t sweat it, maybe we can find another one on another online store? Maybe for cheaper, and maybe it’ll be quicker?” Her optimism wasn’t fazing her.

“Maybe…” Dina brushed it off quickly. “It’s whatever, we can figure something out.”

“Yeah…” Ellie nodded lightly in agreement as Dina closed up her laptop and put it away. An off-handed silence fell over them, but Dina was quick to change that.

“Hey, so, not to be blunt,” She adjusted in her chair to get a better angle to look at the taller girl who simply turned her head in curiosity. “But are you around tonight?”

_Ah, fuck._ “Oh, no, I’m actually not,” Ellie replied, and there was a spark of surprise and disappointment behind Dina’s stoic eyes. “I have plans. Weird, I know.”

“Aw, man,” Dina was way more let down than she was coming across. “There’s a big party tonight at a sorority house, and I was hoping you’d come with… maybe keep me company or something.” Her tone was lighthearted and convincing, especially when a soft hand reached out to play with the stitching in the shoulder of her hoodie, her fingers mindlessly wandering along the lines.

Ellie couldn’t help but admit that it was definitely tempting. She was enticed to reach down into her pocket and send Kat a text asking for a rain check. But her morals were always just too combative against her wants.

“I really wish I could,” Ellie assured. “Next time I can. It’s just that tonight I have plans to go into Fort Collins with a friend.”

“Oh, I see,” Dina replied simply.

Ellie tried to do her own form of damage control, but she knew Dina was already let down. “Besides, last time I ended up at one of these parties, it didn’t exactly end the best for me, remember?” She tried to laugh it off, but it only resulted in a quick blow of air through Dina’s noise in remembrance of the night the met.

It didn’t really seem like she cared, anyway. “Who’s the lucky friend?”

“Oh, you remember Kat?”

The fabric of Ellie’s hoodie tightened under soft fingers that bunched up at the name. Her hands betrayed her face, especially when she noted the squeezing of her fist in the other hand.

“Of course,” She forced out a smile that Ellie easily picked up on. “Where you guys headed?”

“Not sure yet,” Ellie lied with a shrug. “We were just gonna, like… walk and stuff.”

“Hm,” Dina hummed with a curt nod of her head, those dark, swirling pools finding solace away from Ellie and off into the distance of the classroom. “Well, hey, sounds like fun.”

The professor closed the door to the room and started to make her way up front.

Quickly, Ellie tried to find a way to save the moment. “Hey, listen, to make up for it, maybe I can sing you something.”

A look of promise and excitement crossed Dina’s fair features, a head turning over to look at her in surprise and wonder. “Wait, really?”

“No.”

Dina’s disappointment was palpable, especially when Ellie couldn’t help but laugh. She’d fallen for the same trick from the morning before.

“Go to hell, you asshole,” she cursed under her breath.

“Love you, too.”

***

“So, this is the place?” Ellie stared up at the neon sign in the little shop that looked no bigger than a city corner store, a look of reluctance and anxiety surfacing in her face and voice.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kat was cheerful and bright, taking note of the obvious rise of anxiety. “What’s wrong?”

The doubt started to outweigh the excitement from earlier that day. “I don’t know…” Her voice was shaky. “I’m having second thoughts about this one.”

“Don’t worry,” Kat nudged her roughly. “You’re not even getting anything done today! We’re just here to look, okay?”

A mound formed in the center of her throat. “Alright…” She nearly choked out, a small hand gripping a firm wrist, and an instant wave of relief fell slightly over her.

“Come on, chicken,” She teased sweetly. “Let’s go.”

Leading her inside by the wrist, they walked in to the sound of a bell, notifying the workers. She was met with the sight of a front desk, a bench for waiting, and tons of pictures on every wall, littered with all kinds of designs and drawings, accompanied by mirrors and awards. It had a very rugged look about it, and it definitely was not Ellie’s scene.

“Heya, Kat,” the voice of a friendly man sounded from the front desk.

“Hi, Michael,” she replied with a loving smile.

“Who’s the friend?” He asked shamelessly, motioning to Ellie who could only smile awkwardly in response.

“This is Ellie. She’s interested in getting something done, so we’re just here to look. Is Mato around?”

“In the back,” he threw a thumb over his shoulder, and Kat was quick to follow it. She still had Ellie captured by the wrist, and Ellie could only follow, morally and physically bound to this decision that she couldn’t help but regret, with the way her heart thudded painfully in her chest.

In one of the back rooms, there was a tattoo chair, surrounded by a few walls that were, once again, covered from top to bottom in frames full of pictures and art. Sitting in the chair and leaned up against the small desk to the right of the chair was a rough-looking man with what Ellie could classify as a mohawk and a long goatee, covered head to toe in tattoos. He sported a leather jacket, ripped at the shoulders, with a loose tank top underneath, jeans, and boots. He looked like the typical tattoo artist, Ellie thought.

“Mato,” Kat called pleasantly, the terrifying man turning with the friendliest smile she’d ever seen on someone so scary-looking.

“Kat!” He got up and threw his arms out, inviting her in for a hug that she graciously took. “Who have you brought today, kiddo?”

Ellie swallowed her anxiety before she could let Kat introduce her. “I’m Ellie,” she said, controlling the shakiness in her voice and receiving a pleasantly shocked look from Kat. “I’m just interested in maybe getting a little something custom done, if you don’t mind me looking?”

Mato gave her a gratifying smile in return. “Oh, well, sure,” He extended an arm to the chair. “Have a seat.”

Nervously, Ellie made her way into the chair, and looked to the ceiling as she took a deep breath. Mato rolled his chair over and took one look at her and laughed amusedly.

“Somebody’s a bit nervous, huh?”

Kat rolled her eyes playfully, leaning up against the wall on the opposite side. “She always is.”

“Alright, well,” Mato took a tattoo pen from one of his pockets. “What ideas did you have in mind, Ellie?”

She didn’t answer, she just reached into her back-jean pocket and pulled out some folded-up sheets of paper, containing multiple drawings on each. They were just some ideas she’d had in mind. “Maybe one of these?”

He put the pen behind his ear as he looked at the different sketches. Nodding and humming, impressed, at her rusty artistic skill. “Where were you thinking of getting it?” He looked back up at her for a moment questionably.

“Oh, maybe just my arm?” Ellie shrugged. “I really don’t know yet.”

“Okay, well, if I had to pick any one of these, honestly…” Mato scanned over them really quick, making his final decision with a turn of the paper to show Ellie. “This one would be my best bet.”

It was the moth on the ferns. Her favorite design out of each of them. Ellie wasn’t sure why, she just felt that design held such a symbolic significance that she couldn’t quite place a finger on why.

“Do you mind if I sketch this out?”

Ellie nodded wordlessly, letting her head roll back as she heard the uncapping of the pen, and cold, rough ink fell upon her skin. At one point, she even tilted her head to throw a look in Kat’s direction, who was watching her intently with a smile on her face. Ellie reciprocated a curt one, letting Mato do his work on her arm.

She doesn’t know how long she was there for – it could’ve been minutes, or hours. She didn’t keep track. The entire time she let her mind wander, and only when did he hum with finality did she look down at her arm.

The pattern was beautiful. It was absolutely gorgeous, actually. Each leaf was perfect the way she drew them – better than the way she drew them.

“Holy shit, I love it,” Ellie marveled aloud, a smile crawling across Mato’s lips.

“You like it?” He answered in confirmation.

Lifting her arm up to get a better look, she nodded her head quickly. She turned her forearm back and forth, admiring the beautiful work. “This is actually incredible.”

Kat bounced forward with bright eyes. “So, you’ll get it?”

Ellie threw her a nervous, but excited look, which then she threw at Mato, unsure of what to do.

“You’re eighteen?” Mato asked suddenly.

Ellie nodded silently.

“You got cash?” He asked again.

Ellie nodded again.

“You’re making this decision on your own?” His final question hit a different heartstring than she expected.

A final nod.

“If this will make you happy, do it,” He insisted. “If this is what you damn want, you fucking do it.”

Ellie’s smile only grew as she looked to Kat who was grinning with complete support.

The date was set: She was scheduled to have her first appointment to get started that weekend. She’d scheduled it together with Kat, who would actually be the one doing it for her. She was nowhere near as nervous as before – after seeing the drawing across her arm, most of her anxiety had crumpled away and disintegrated like wet paper.

Night had fallen over the city. They were in there for far longer than Ellie had realized. As they exited the building, Ellie took a deep breath of relief, receiving a nudge from the small girl beside her.

“See? Not so bad, was it?” Kat’s smile was infectious.

“No, not at all,” Ellie breathed softly. But she had other matters to attend to. “Hey, are there any decent shopping stores around here? Maybe, like, for photography and cameras?”

“I mean, there’s a Target down the street from here,” Kat shrugged amusedly.

“Any chance they might have polaroids?”

***

It was late by the time Ellie got back. Way later than she had anticipated. Tomorrow was Monday, and it was the start of some of her classes. That was something she’d completely forgotten amidst all of the commotion of her night out.

Unlocking the door and coming into the dark room, she felt a sense of déjà vu remembering the night before, coming in almost to the same scene. This time, she came home with a bag containing items that she had happily and proudly set out to find after her escapade at the tattoo parlor. The ink hadn’t rubbed off – despite washing it multiple times the imprint was still stuck to her skin. Not that she minded.

Setting the bag down on the night table, she unloaded the three items – a brand new polaroid camera with two packets of polaroid film, 10 in each. There was no changing the smile that infected her face as she set it up perfectly for when Dina came home.

Dina, on the other hand, was still out at the party, so Ellie presumed. She definitely wasn’t home, and it was just after 11. There was no questioning the fact that she probably wouldn’t be up for quite some time, despite knowing her classes started the next day. It was a typical decision made by her oh-so-responsible roommate.

Scoffing in amusement to herself, she crumpled the bag up and set it in the trash can right beside the door. It was only that moment that she saw her guitar case did she remember her intro project that she had to do for the next day, as her class was tomorrow.

_Ah, shit, I need to do that._ She scrambled around to get her phone and earbuds, and unhooked her guitar case. _Dina won’t be home for a while, so I’ve got plenty of time. She won’t pull a fast one on me._ She reassured herself, removing the beautiful guitar marked with a moth on the neck. God, how she loved her guitar.

_What song should I sing?_ In her head, she went through an entire playlist of songs that she felt would work for her sense of expression, and none came to mind. Opening up her phone and going into her music app, the last song that she had been listening to popped up on the screen. _Pluto Projector,_ by Rex Orange County. _This should work. I know the chords, so…_

Going over to her voice recorder app in her phone, she pressed play, loading up the song and pressing play, letting the softness fill her ears. The first words came quickly, but she was ready. She knew the words like the back of her hand. Her fingers plucked back and forth on the strings to the main melody behind his voice.

_The great protector_

_Is that what I’m supposed to be?_

Ellie couldn’t really hear herself, but she heard that her voice started shakily, and she mentally shut her anxiety down as quickly as she could. The dark room around her brought her peace, and she closed her eyes to indulge herself in the music and mimic it.

_What if this all counts for nothing_

_Everything I thought I’d be?_

_What if by the time I realize_

_It’s too far behind to see?_

She refused to open her eyes, but she knew her face would scrunch at every long note and high note. She knew that in the silence around her, she didn’t have to open her eyes. She knew that by overthinking it, it would only turn out worse for her. Slowly but surely, the knowledge that she was recording herself sunk away, and the water behind her eyes began to threaten to pour out from behind closed lids.

_Seventy-mil projector_

_I can show you everything, yeah_

_And we’re on our way to glory_

_Where the show won’t ever end_

_And the encore lasts forever_

_And it’s time we’re due to spend._

As that riveting chord came in, a tear slipped. She held it down, let it sit in the dark room and let it echo, before hitting the rest of the notes and continuing with the lyrics.

_Spending years together_

_Growing older every day_

_I feel at home around you_

_And I’ll gladly say again_

_I hope the encore lasts forever_

_Now there’s time for us to spend._

She thought for just a moment that the air in the room around her changed. She felt like she saw light break from her eyelids, but she refused to open them. She was far too invested in the music and the song to even pay any mind to anything else. It was like she was locked in a trance as her voice hit vibratos and tones that shook with emotion.

_And it’s sublime with you, my friend_

_This right here still feels like the honeymoon_

_When you say my name, nothing’s changed_

_I’m still a boy inside my thoughts_

_Am I meant to understand my faults?_

Ellie felt her voice shaking a bit as emotion swept her. It had been so long since she’d sat down with her guitar and strung. All of her pent-up emotion and her thoughts from the days since leaving Jackson came out all in the sweet lyrics. Those lyrics that carried out and shook as she held the notes only brought more pressure to the back of her lids.

_I don’t think so_

_I don’t think I’m meant to understand myself_

She held the note and let her voice play among the notes just as his voice did. Years of practice and singing to herself, alone, up in her room, came sweeping back over her

_Maybe you do_

_And that’s good for you_

_Maybe in time_

_Maybe one day_

_I’ll do the same._

Ellie felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes, and as she let the notes play and carry into the next lyrics, she let her eyes open to face the ceiling for a moment before treading back down and the sight before her made her blood run icy.

Immediately, she stopped, ripping the earbuds out from her ears and jumping back, guitar in hand. Completely startled, she returned the stare that she was given. Dina was standing a few feet in front of her, door cracked open behind her, jaw completely hung in an awed shock that she’d never seen on anyone before.

“Wha–” Ellie didn’t even know where to begin to explain. She was absolutely, terrifyingly, disgustingly mortified. “What the fuck… What the hell are you doing here?” She demanded, so much blood running to her face that she thought it would explode in her head.

Dina was so flabbergasted that she was rendered nearly speechless. “I just… The party ended early, so I…”

Her loss of words caused smoke to spurt from her ears, leaving the tips of them burnt and red with embarrassment and mortification. _I can’t believe I didn’t hear her come in…_

“Just…” Ellie trailed off as she fussed around with the guitar in her hands, throwing the phone that still had the earbuds attached over onto the night table before letting her guitar rest on the wall at the end of her bed. She didn’t even want to know if Dina was awestruck in a good or a bad way.

Dina broke from her frozen trance to quickly move over to her side of the room and set her bags down, a face strangled with awe still plastered on her features.

Ellie noticed and frustratedly blurted. “What?”

“No, no, nothing…” Ellie had never seen Dina so taken aback. She even caught a glimpse of a blush staining her cheeks pink in the lit-up doorway that was still cracked open. When Dina realized this, she immediately went to shut it.

She couldn’t decide what was more mortifying – Dina walking in on her singing, or the awkward encounter that followed. Ellie could tell that Dina didn’t want to step on any of the frazzled girl’s toes, so she just quickly and quietly shuffled around the room, getting ready for bed, just as Ellie did.

Ellie wasted no time crawling under the covers and hiding her face in them, her back turned to the girl who continued to move about the room. She heard a belt buckle undo, signifying that she was undressing into her pajamas, maybe, but then a thought came parading back into her mind. She’d completely forgotten about the polaroid camera that sat peacefully on the table. Reaching over and taking her phone to stop the recording – which she had completely forgot was still going – she tossed it somewhere under the sheets with her after setting her alarm.

“The polaroid’s on the table,” The words that spilled from her mouth were frustrated and deadpan. She couldn’t decide whether or not she was mad at Dina for walking in, or herself for not paying closer attention. “I got it in the city.”

“Oh…” Dina’s only word trailed off. She didn’t seem intoxicated or high or anything, though her clothes had a hint of sweat marked in them.

Ellie did her best to pretend none of that happened. She’d worry about the recording tomorrow. She was just so embarrassed that she didn’t even have time to calm down and start over. The blush still stained her cheeks, even as she heard the rustle of Dina’s covers behind her, and she heard the small girl slip into her bed.

The silence was infuriating. She couldn’t tell if she wanted Dina to say something or nothing at all. She sure as hell wasn’t making the first move. In fact, as the quietness took over, her exhaustion from the hectic day kicked in. _Better just sleep it off and hope she forgets in the morning._

“Ellie?”

_God damn it._ It took her courage a moment to collect and open her mouth. “Yeah?”

Another pause of silence had Ellie reeling with humiliation and anxiety. But the response that came after was nowhere near what she expected, and sent her flying back.

“That was the most beautify thing I’ve ever heard.”

The words got stuck in her throat. What was she supposed to say? Thank you for walking in on me? What was the right response to that, with all the context given? She just swallowed hard and only one word came out.

“Thanks,” Despite how meaningless it sounded in her head, her voice was filled to the brim with genuine gratitude. Her comment nearly broke her heart.

“No, like, I mean it,” Dina insisted, her voice high in pitch and barely above a whisper. “That was the most amazing thing I have ever heard.”

The sincerity in her voice was almost too much to handle. Ellie’s emotions packed into overdrive. “Thank you.”

_Fuck._

“Your voice is beautiful.”

_You really are going to be my downfall._

“Goodnight, Ellie.”

“Goodnight.”

_I’m so okay with it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda got a little emotional writing the end there... :')
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> This is another of the Tumblr requests I received for these two.
> 
> My tumblr handle is @lmontyy, and I take any and all requests, (so long as they're not unreasonable or crazy!) but I'm very easygoing when it comes to writing, and do enjoy writing for others. Any and all questions or inquiries may be directed to my inbox here or on tumblr. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Corduroy Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions start to grow between Ellie and the girls she finds herself associating with, especially after she learns a secret about her roommate that completely throws her off. Ellie seeks guidance from her friends, as well as welcome distractions to the internal conflicts she feels whilst being wrapped up in a love triangle she can't seem to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County!
> 
> > SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING <

Days had passed by like seconds in Ellie’s mind as the university started to kick up and her friends became more present in her life. The concept of time seemed to slip away from her sometimes – it felt like a dream to wake up most mornings. She and Dina only got closer with every day they woke up in the same room, and she and her other friends only got closer with every text they sent.

While she didn’t see her group of friends every day, it was often enough that she found herself dreaming of them, wanting to see them, making time for them that she never made with any of her other friends in the past. There was no nicer feeling in the world than knowing she had a decent group of people to fall back on – well, maybe, besides the feeling of Dina curling up next to her to watch a movie, or getting those same looks that she knew were oh-so dastardly, or the way she would touch her arm affectionately. She only seemed to get more expressive by the day.

On the other hand, she was spending a lot more time focusing on really making a life for herself the way she wanted. Removing her friends and Dina from the equation, she noticed a change in herself that only fueled her to continue to change – the change she noticed was her freedom and her willingness to embrace it. With that, she felt unstoppable. She felt like she could do anything and everything she wanted, as her life was her own, and the endless road was right in front of her to explore.

Well, she felt unstoppable, sure, until she found herself in Mato’s tattoo chair with a needle about to be brought to her skin.

“You nervous or something?” Kat’s teasing voice interrupted her thoughts that she desperately put in place to distract herself from what was happening.

Ellie sent a glare in her direction, taking in the sight of her with the needle in her hand and suddenly regretting every single decision she’d ever made in her entire life – this one being the most significant.

“No, I’m just fucking perfect,” Ellie’s sarcasm burned her tongue, rolling off with a tone that only sparked laughter from the girl beside her.

“Hey, try not to make me laugh during this. Wouldn’t want my hand to slip, now would we?” Kat’s teasing was too much for Ellie’s nerves.

“Could you stop?” She demanded, a begging in her voice that had Kat laughing again, the obvious shakiness accentuating her nerves that buzzed painfully with worry when the needle whirred when Kat tested it in the air.

Kat rolled her eyes and placed a gloved hand over Ellie’s twitching one. Her arm was marked with blue ink, outlining the path the needle would take. “Could you relax? Take a deep breath. It pinches at first, but after a couple minutes, you won’t even feel it.”

Her words reassured her for a moment, and it was like a numbing dart ripped through her, calming down her frenzied nerves and the rapid beat of her heart.

“You big baby,” She added in there with a mirthful glance, eyes turning quickly to examine the outline and decide where she would start.

Another deadly glare found its way on Kat’s face before she gently warned Ellie that she was about to start, which prompted Ellie to rip unamused eyes away from her fair face and stare daggers into the ceiling above her, too afraid to watch the needle as it made contact with her skin with that sickening buzzing noise.

It felt like a clump of tiny pokes, a jab of pain that she realized, in her stupidity, she completely overestimated. After a moment of tightening her fist and letting the pain sink in, she slowly but surely brought her head back up to its resting position, and with all the reluctance in the world, she brought her eyes to where the needle was in her skin, led by Kat’s steady hand and hard concentration.

Ellie could only watch in wonder – where she once watched in fear – completely amazed by the ink that was drilling into her skin. As the needle very slowly passed over the outlines, in its wake it left a black path that had Ellie completely hooked in.

“See?” Kat asked, her undivided attention still intently focused on her work with the needle. She must’ve felt the hard stare from the girl in the chair next to her. “Not so bad, huh?”

Ellie didn’t answer, she only continued to watch in anxious awe. She started to realize why and how tattoos took so long to put on, as it dragged by painfully slow, and she was only left to estimate the reality of how long it would take, which she knew would be much longer than she had initially anticipated.

Getting tired of watching and feeling her anxiety surpassing over her, she let her head roll back and let Kat concentrate on her work as her mind slipped into thought once more.

_“Is that a tattoo lining?”_ She remembered Dina’s voice the morning after the appointment when daylight shone through the window and perfectly highlighted the faded outline of the moth and the ferns.

_“Yeah, why?”_

Dina’s eyebrows shot up and a devilish smirk crawled along those lips. _“You’re moving pretty fast, aren’t you?”_

_“What’s that supposed to mean?”_

Dina’s laugh would always be engrained in her mind. Every time she would laugh at anything, Ellie’s heart would spike. There wasn’t another laugh in the world she wanted to hear more. _“You’re becoming a rebel very fast. How would Mr. Joel feel about this one?”_

Ellie knew Joel would not be the happiest with her, that much was for sure. But she only brushed Dina off with a smile and a response she guessed she wasn’t expecting. _“I mean, does it look like I care how he feels?”_

Another laugh and an eyebrow that shot up on her forehead had Ellie’s heart swelling. _“Wow. Daddy’s girl has definitely changed, hasn’t she?”_ Before Ellie could protest, Dina cut her off with an amused wave of her hand. _“Don’t worry, the attitude is hot.”_

_“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do,”_ Ellie’s amusement released through her sarcasm. _“I’m trying to impress you by making my own decisions.”_

_“Yeah, well, your ‘own decisions,’”_ She exaggerated the words with air quotes and a cock of her head in the direction of her tattoo. _“Are hot, too.”_

Ellie only rolled her eyes at the girl, as she did for most of the things she said half the time. She wouldn’t show her how her words affected her, she would just brush it off in hopes that one day she’d garner the same confidence to reciprocate those sultry, suggestive words and phrases that left Ellie’s mind a raging storm with no way to be sated.

“Almost done, El,” Kat’s voice interrupted once again, bringing her back to reality and when she looked down, almost the entire design had been completely traced out.

Her eyes were wide with wonder as she took in the dark, thin outline of the design she’d drawn, now imprinted into the skin of her right forearm. Her jaw hung open slightly with shock at how quick her mind was to take her away from her physical body and off to her memories with Dina, but when she came back, it had seemingly been hours of drifting that had left her tattoo come to fruition simultaneously.

“Wow…” Ellie marveled aloud, her words accidentally slipping out of her open mouth.

Mato’s laugh prompted her head to whip around in the direction of the doorframe leading out into the menacing, neon-lit hallway. He stood there, watching her astonishment with outright amusement.

“Someone’s impressed,” he laughed. “What, did you think she couldn’t do it or something?”

Ellie was quick to explain herself. “No, no, it just… looks so much better than I expected.” The words almost sounded like a question, she was just in a state of awe when she turned from his gaze to look back down at her extended arm, and the young girl that worked on it. The words had been totally ripped from the back of her throat.

“Don’t know whether I should be taking that as an insult or a compliment, but you know, it seems genuine enough,” Kat joked, her eyes still never breaking from her skin as the needle slowly moved along the outline.

Ellie’s words caught again, and she was about to utter a protest, when Mato cut her off with a whistle of amazement at Kat’s work, having walked over from the doorframe to admire the beautiful design traced along pale skin.

“That’s some serious shit, Kat,” he marveled, his bushy eyebrows climbing up a sweaty forehead. “This is incredible.”

It was only an outline, Ellie had to remind herself. This was only the beginning of a piece of art so great, and suddenly she was willing to wait for days if it meant she could walk out of there with it done. Unfortunately, it wasn’t possible, and the crude reminder of that was when the violent whirring of the needle ceased and the pressure was lifted from her skin. Her eyes snapped down to see the finished product – the entire tracing was completely closed and done.

“Well, that took a while,” Kat remarked playfully, taking a glance over at the clock hanging up on the wall above the door.

“Hey, three hours isn’t even that bad,” Mato scoffed. “For your first time doing something as serious as this? That was a damn good time, kid.”

Ellie’s eyes swelled with gratitude as she paid Kat’s joyful face a glance. “Thank you so much for doing this.”

“What?” Kat seemed surprised by her sudden rush of appreciation. “What’re you thanking me for?” A flattered laugh escaped past her lips and a blush creeped up on her fair cheeks. “It was nothin’.”

“To you it was nothing,” Ellie insisted. “Seriously, you didn’t have to do this.”

“Oh, hush,” Kat rolled her eyes playfully, turning back around to dismantle all of the equipment and pack it away. “It was really nothing.”

It took a moment for the length of time to actually sink in with her – it really _had_ been three hours. It was nearing midnight at that point. Curses ran through her head like venom as she let herself stand for the first time in hours, and she turned to head out the door of the room, Kat following carefully behind and leaving Mato in the room – the same room he called his office – with a sweet goodnight.

Kat brought her over to the back closet where she reached up into one of the shelves and pulled out some ointment, clear wrapped bandages and some medical tape to hold it down. Reluctantly, Ellie tilted her head curiously.

“What’s… all that for?”

Kat rolled her eyes with amusement, popping open the cap on the ointment and squeezing some onto her fingers to slowly brush over the red, inflamed skin. “What, you think you can just get a sick tattoo and expect to walk outta here scot-free,” Kat scolded playfully. “This shit could get infected in ten minutes if you leave this off.” She started applying the clear bandage against the tattoo. “I’m taping this on, if I were you, I’d leave it on for a day or two, but change them. I’m giving you some extras to take with you.”

“Okay,” Ellie nodded in understanding, letting Kat finish applying it and taping it up before reaching her hand out to take the rest of the supplies from her. “Thanks, Kat.”

With a shining smile, she removed her gloves and threw them in the wastepaper basket on the wall right behind her. The hallway was long and lit with an orange tint and was full of about four to five different tattoo rooms, only one of which was occupied by someone else at the moment. At the end of the hall where they stood, there was the supply closet, full of medical stuff and tattoo guns, needles, ink cartridges, and everything else that the artists needed.

“No problem, dork,” she examined her arm from the side, prompting Ellie to raise it up so she could get a better look. “How does it feel?”

“Not bad, actually,” Ellie was surprised at the tingling sensation that radiated from the marked skin, expecting a much worse impact to her nerves. “The needle freaked me out for a minute but I got over it pretty fast.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy with it,” Kat concluded, cocking her head to the side as she started back down the hall, leading Ellie toward the front again. “We should set up your next appointment to get that done. We gotta give your skin time to heal, though.” She made her way around the corner to the empty reception desk and started typing away at the computer. “How about in two weeks?” She turned to look up at her with one of the most pleasant smiles Ellie had ever received in her life.

***

_“Two weeks?”_ Dina’s exasperated sigh of protest had Ellie fighting a smile. “What do you mean they’re gonna take two weeks to get here?”

“You realize that furniture takes a while to deliver, right?”

Dina groaned and threw her head back, letting it hit the wall with a hard thump. “Yeah, smartass, I know, but two weeks?” She huffed out a hot breath of frustrated air as she brought her head back to the screen. “That’s so long.”

Ellie’s amusement never faltered. “Again… you realize it–”

A pillow ended up getting tossed into her face from the tested girl beside her. Ellie groaned with pain and surprise as she grabbed her nose with a scrunched face.

“Yes, you fucking asshole,” Dina fought her smile at the glare from the taller girl on the bed beside her, who was smiling herself from the sudden hit. “I get it. I’m just impatient.”

“No kidding,” Ellie huffed wiggling her nose with her hand. Her furrowed eyebrows let up as a tender hand from the short girl met Ellie’s face and gave it a loving tap against her cheek.

“You’ll be fine,” Dina rolled her eyes with amusement. “Anyways, so I should place the order?”

They’d still only managed to make it to the checkout tab before Dina’s outrage had stopped them. In total, for the two beds, the loveseat, and the desk and chair, it was just short of six hundred bucks. Ellie found this surprisingly cheap – she’d definitely expected the biggest pieces of their furniture to total to a thousand, but she definitely wasn’t complaining about the turnout. Of course, they had other things they were interested in purchasing, but this would do for now.

“Yeah, go for it,” Ellie removed her card from her wallet, and read them off to Dina to put in the credentials. “Did that work?”

Dina smiled, pleased. “Yeah, it did. The order’s placed.”

“Okay, good.”

“When I get the chance later, I’ll run down to the ATM by University Hall and get you the three hundred,” Dina told her, setting her laptop down on the bed to the side of her opposite of where Ellie sat, and boosted herself off of her mattress.

“Sounds good,” Ellie answered kindly. She took notice of the way Dina traipsed around the room, looking over each the beds and the corners, as if she were taking mental measurements or something – despite them having taken physical measurements before ordering all the furniture. “What are you doing?” Ellie asked amusedly, scooting up on the bed and letting her legs hang over the side, keeping her arms propped against the comforter.

“I don’t know,” Dina admitted with a breathy chuckle. “I’m figuring out where everything should go.”

“Jesus, D, you know it’s just furniture, right?” Ellie returned her amusement with a chuckle of her own.

Dina turned to her with a playful glare, like she was about to throw another imaginary pillow at her. “You know, you could shut up sometimes, you pessimistic asshole.”

“That’s mean,” Ellie remarked, feigning offense.

Dina rolled her eyes again and turned away from her. “You’ll live.”

“What time do your classes start?” She asked suddenly, a wave of curiosity hitting her.

“Not until 9:30. Yours?”

Ellie had a pretty early morning. “I got my first one at 8:30,” But Dina had been up early, and she’d accidentally woken her roommate up, both of them deciding to give up on sleeping and spend the morning ordering their stuff together.

“It’s already ten to eight, dumbass,” Dina threw an arm up toward the clock. “Are you even ready?”

Ellie rolled her eyes and slid off the bed, removing her gray hoodie, tossing it up and over her head and off to her side of the room. There was a slight shift in Dina’s eyes as she zeroed in on the way Ellie brought it over her head and threw it, but Ellie pretended not to notice. Underneath, she had a tight black t-shirt on from the night before that didn’t smell and wasn’t too disheveled. She threw her arms out to further her point.

“See?” She showed her, turning to the side to exaggerate and prove her wrong. “I’m ready now.” Her jeans were still on from the night before, too, and the bandage of her tattoo, which had been covered by the sleeve of the oversized hoodie, was in need of changing.

“Whoa, whoa,” Dina quickly stopped her as she went to turn in the other direction. Stepping forward and placing a small hand on a strong shoulder, she forced her to turn back around, eyes immediately zoning in on the bandaged tattoo. “Is this where you were all night?” She marveled, taking in the sight of the new, red and inflamed skin that was marked with the new tattoo.

“Yes, ma’am,” Ellie turned bashful then, pressured under the intense gaze of the girl in front of her, who took her arm and held it out, maneuvering it to get a better look for herself.

Dina’s eyebrows bounced in a devious interest, and a lip got sucked in between two rows of perfect teeth. “Well…” she muttered suddenly, still examining the tattoo before letting it drop and fall to Ellie’s side. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any hotter.”

“Wh–?!” The words choked up in Ellie’s throat, surprised at the boldness from Dina so quickly, left to stare after her as she turned away, completely unfazed by her own words. Ellie sighed, deciding it wasn’t even worth the trouble of asking for clarification. She just smiled with defeat. Dina turned to look back at her, leaning up against the bottom frame of her bed as she toyed with a shirt in her hands.

“I coulda sworn you were off hooking up with a chick or something,” Dina teased, the words rolling off her tongue in a dastardly, almost possessive way. “You might be doing that a little more often with that thing on your arm.” She joked, head cocking forward, signaling to the tattoo on her arm.

A blush fell along Ellie’s cheeks as she rolled her eyes, brushing off her comments. “Maybe I’ll start going after that, then. It’ll keep me out of your hair.”

“I definitely don’t mind you being in my hair,” Dina remarked, leaving the interpretation open and leaving Ellie’s head reeling with haze as she tried to analyze and decode that tone in her voice. But suddenly, her tone changed from that teasing, sultry way to a much softer and more kindhearted one. “Do you need help with those bandages, though?”

Ellie was almost stunned by the shift, but her heart swelled at the way those words passed from that kind heart to her mouth. “O-Oh, uh, yeah sure,” Her own tone shifted from a playful one to a surprised and pleasant one. “You ever done it before?”

“Yeah, actually,” Dina answered, reaching over for the little bag of supplies Ellie had kept on their night table from the night before, pulling out the ointment and the new clear bandage Kat had given her. “One of my… older friends had a pretty big tattoo on his shoulder. He had to do the same process. He couldn’t reach far enough on his back, so he’d need my help to do it sometimes.”

Nodding curtly and thinking nothing of it, Ellie sat down on the bed obediently, extending out her inked arm and watching Dina squeeze the ointment out onto a careful finger. With her free hand, she pulled off the current bandage and tape, giving Dina room to apply the ointment to her skin. Ellie watched, mesmerized by the way that delicate finger traced so gently, so carefully over the inflamed skin, Ellie glancing up to see Dina’s eyes focused on covering the entire area with the relieving, antibacterial ointment.

Luckily for her, the skin was too irritated for Dina to have been able to tell the difference between the sensitive skin and the goosebumps that rose in the wake of Dina’s finger. Ellie had to fight the sudden spike of electricity that rippled down her back at the intense feeling she felt with Dina being so close to her, her hand on her like that, eyes staring into her skin leaving burns wherever they trailed. She could feel Dina’s breath against her neck and collarbones, that studious face looking down at her arm and keeping her eyes intently there. _God, why does she have to be so beautiful? And hot? And perfect? Why did I let her get this close to me like this?_

Once she was done, she carefully lifted her moistened finger which she quickly wiped away on her patterned pajama pants. A grin plastered across her face when she met Ellie’s stunned expression, only shaking her head with amusement before reaching over and grabbing the other new bandage and slowly splaying her fingers over Ellie’s skin, which was protected by the bandage in her hand. She put the roll of medical tape between her lips when she reached down to use both hands to push against Ellie’s arm, keeping the bandage down before she lifted her arm back up toward her mouth to rip off a piece of tape with her teeth, gently placing the tape on one of the corners of the bandage.

She continued this for each of the sides, using long, sticky pieces to really secure the bandage in place. Ellie was ashamed at the way her eyes zeroed in on those teeth every time she ripped off a new piece of tape.

“All done,” Dina’s eyes ran over the bandage to watch for any mistakes, smiling proudly and satisfied as she started to pack away the medical tape and ointment into the bag.

Holding up her arm and twisting it around, Ellie marveled at the nearly-expert work of the smaller girl. “Thanks,” she said with a wondrous look in her direction, her arms falling behind her and propping her up as she leaned back on her bed. “You ever think about getting a tattoo?” Ellie asked curiously, watching the girl as she made her way over to the corner with her drawers.

Leaning back on them and letting her hands fall at the hem of her shirt to lift it, Dina looked back to her with an inquisitive face. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I _thought_ about it,” she interrupted herself with a pull of her shirt above her head. She was left clad in a tank top, and Ellie had to fight the painful urge to let her eyes wander the upper torso of her roommate. “But I never really went through with it.” Dina concluded as she pulled the shirt she’d had in her hands before over her head and slipped her arms through the sleeves.

“What ideas did you have in mind?” Ellie was invested in it – she really wanted to know more about the inner workings of Dina’s mind. She was always so fascinated by what went on up there, what she was feeling or thinking, and what she liked or wanted or strived for.

Dina shot her a deadpan gaze, but a smile slowly creeped up on her lips. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She asked teasingly, sarcastically.

“No, I’m serious,” Ellie insisted, leaning forward in protest. “I really wanna know.”

Rolling her eyes with amusement, Dina started to list off some of the ideas she’d had: some were of depictions of nature or spiritual references, others she described as symbols in Judaism, like the Hamsa or the Chai symbols. Ellie had recognized the Hamsa symbol she described as the same one on her bracelet.

“Why haven’t you gotten one yet?” Ellie pressed inquisitively.

Dina shrugged gently in response. “Dunno. Never got the chance, I guess?”

“Well…” Ellie started hesitantly, blowing out some air and shrugging back. “Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me. You’re here now, you’re an adult. Stop making excuses and just do it.” Turning away and lifting herself off the bed, Ellie took the bag of supplies and let it fall into the top drawer of the night table.

When she glanced over at Dina, she seemed stunned by Ellie’s words, her eyes watching her but mind obviously racing, lost in thought as she processed the things Ellie had said. As it sunk in, a laugh blew from her nostrils and her eyes traveled away.

“Yeah, you know, maybe you’re right. When’s your next appointment? I think I’ll tag along.”

***

The day was as long as it was short. It felt like each day went by like seconds, but as it happened, the day dragged by like years. Each class, as much as she enjoyed the idea of being in college and learning, was excruciatingly slow most times, and more often than not did she find her mind straying away from her time and time again.

As the professor would go on about the lesson, her mind would travel to places where she would find her friends, and she would find Dina. She would find herself daydreaming about those beautiful, murky eyes, those freckled cheeks and that perfect smile. She would picture all of the times they sat curled up on Dina’s bed, both pairs of eyes watching the laptop screen and scrolling through countless websites, trying to find new furniture for their room. All of the memories of their teasing and playfulness would come crashing down, and often times Ellie would catch herself zoning out and smiling like a madman with a head pressed into a palm that was propped up by an elbow against a desk.

She couldn’t ignore the buzzing feeling in her chest – the way butterflies flapped their wings inside her stomach – every time she was around Dina. As much as she appreciated every person in her life, not one of them had so much of an effect on her like Dina had. It was hard to control the mindless wandering in her brain sometimes. Those memories were the ones she kept closest – being close to Dina.

Sometimes, she worried herself with how much she let herself like her. She had chastised herself countless times – _Don’t get your hopes up, you don’t know what her intentions are. Don’t bother, she’s clearly just playing with you. Obviously, it’s one-sided, come on._ She had a tendency to get far ahead of herself. And clearly, she’d done the same with Dina. But, God, she couldn’t blame herself. She was too infatuated to care.

_Should I even tell her?_ Ellie’s mind roamed away from the book in her lap as she sat on her bed, head falling back against the wall engulfed in the dark air of the nighttime around her, her mind returning to that wandering state of thought that usually had her questioning her entire existence by the end of it. _Seriously, is it worth it? How do you tell a girl who you don’t even know if she likes girls or not that you like her?_

A long, heavy sigh escaped past her lips. While it cured her mind most times to think about Dina, and while it helped her pass the time to remember their fond memories together and the way she felt about her, it also completely riddled her with anxiety and tension. She couldn’t help the way her heart would race in her chest when she imagined the idea of them together. How would she even get to that point? She’d have to tell her how she felt. She’d have to go through the process of preparing for a reaction, both good and bad. She just wasn’t ready for the emotional toll it would take.

_I mean, what do I got to lose?_ The naïve part of her mind pondered, but it was quickly countered by the logical part of her mind. _You’ve got to lose the rest of the fucking year since Dina’s your roommate, you idiot._ Then the angry side kicked in. _How about you just be fucking bold and make a god damn move, since you’ve done nothing but laugh like a dumbass every time she tried saying anything remotely flirty to you, you birdbrained–_

A sudden knock at the door jolted her from her mental battle. Quickly putting the book off to the side and hopping off the bed, she gently approached the door, confused by who would be stopping by this late at night, but still rushing to the door anyway.

Opening it carefully, she was met with the face of Addie, a big textbook tucked under her arm, and a smile appearing on her face as she realized it was Ellie who opened the door.

“Addie?” Ellie’s brows furrowed in obvious confusion, opening the door the rest of the way and stepping aside to allow her to come in.

“Hey, Ells,” she greeted cheerfully, smiling graciously at her before stepping in.

Watching after her, she slowly shut the door behind her as she watched Addie come in and place the textbook on the night table before turning to admire the room around her. “Uh, hey, don’t take this the wrong way, but why the hell are you here?”

“Ah,” Addie said with a laugh, taking a seat on the edge of Ellie’s bed and signaling to the textbook. “Our favorite Miss Dina has my same English professor, and I haven’t ordered my textbooks yet, so I stole hers.”

“Oh, okay,” Ellie hummed. Dina, as usual, was absent from their dorm. It wasn’t very often that Ellie would come home to Dina there, studying or doing something. But maybe Addie would know where she stumbled off to that night. “Hey, do you know where Dina _is,_ by any chance?” There was an innocence in her voice that had captured Addie’s full attention.

“Probably off with her friends or Jesse or something,” she shrugged, not thinking anything of the words coming from her mouth.

_Jesse?_ A cold run of dread ran deep through her body like an infection. She felt a numbness in her nerves at the name. _What significance is he?_

“Jesse?” She couldn’t hold back the name as it fell from her lips.

Addie looked at her with a returned confusion, before bouncing her brows. “Oh, you don’t know him? I’m surprised Dina’s never mentioned him.”

“No, who is he?” Ellie pressed, her voice a little more desperate than she’d hoped to have sounded.

“You’ve never seen him?” Addie cocked her head to the side as she asked. “Tall guy, Asian, really cute, longer hair.”

That’s when it hit her. The night of the party – her first night on campus before classes officially started. That night when Ben had rushed forward to get in Devon’s face. The guy that stood behind him, trying to get him off of Devon.

_“Alright, Ben, come on,”_ she remembered the way he placed a firm hand on Ben’s shoulder, how he was shoved off but only came back stronger. _“You need to calm the fuck down.”_ That guy, that one that stood up for them among all of the other bystanders.

“That’s Dina’s little boy toy.”

Every single nerve spiked in her body until her whole system ran numb with dread. _Boy toy?_ There was no describing the way it felt when Addie said the words. It felt like all the blood drained from her body, and every one of her bones cracked and snapped under skin that turned as pale as a ghost. Immediately, a knot built in her stomach, and she felt the extreme urge to run to the bathroom out of fear of spilling her guts in shocked disgust.

“B-Boy toy? What do you mean?” Her mind pleaded to her to stop asking questions – God, she didn’t want to fucking know. But, at the same time, she was _starving_ to find out. She needed to know.

When the realization hit Addie, her entire face fell. “Oh, you didn’t know.”

“What?” Ellie’s heart rate was pounding in her chest, so loud she secretly begged that Addie couldn’t hear it. “Didn’t know what?”

Addie just turned away with a sigh. “I thought this idiot fucking told you,” With a strong, sympathetic look to the frozen girl who stood standing with a devastated look on her face, she started speaking again. “Jesse is Dina’s ex-boyfriend. They went to the same high school. They both graduated together and both came here. Not on purpose, though. But they’re here and they’ve been on and off since their junior years of high school. She’s been definitely acting weird, though. It’s strange because she talked about getting with him all summer, but then we got here, and now it seems like she doesn’t want much to do with him.”

There was too much information swirling around in Ellie’s head for her to grasp every sentence that came from her mouth. She felt like her throat was tightening around itself, like hands were constricting around her neck and keeping her from breathing. Her entire chest ached as if it had been beaten in.

Addie narrowed her eyes at her slightly when she failed to answer or utter anything in response. “Let me ask you something, Ellie. And this stays between us, I promise.” The anxiety resurfaced at the question, and her off-gazing eyes found their way to Addie’s when she turned to look up at her with big eyes. “You like her. Don’t you?”

The pauses in between her sentences had Ellie grabbed by the heart. _Fuck, what do I say? Do I tell her? What do I do?_ Her mind raced so fast at the question that it completely froze her ability to speak. The hands around her throat felt tighter and tighter.

A soft chuckle of amusement followed the deafening silence. “I figured.”

“How?” Ellie blurted out, forcing the words out from behind her tight throat. “I never even said–”

“Let me tell you something, Ells,” She leaned up off the bed, bent over just far enough that when she reached her arm out, she was able to grab a hold of Ellie’s wrist. Gently she pulled her toward the bed and motioned for her to sit next to her. “I know Dina better than I know anyone, and sometimes better than I know myself. I know how she acts with you. I see it all the time. And you think I don’t notice your reactions?” Her smile was big and her eyes still stayed centered on her face, even when Ellie looked away with shame. There was another moment of silence before she started again. “Ellie, listen to me. I won’t say a word about this, okay? Dina may be my best friend, but that doesn’t mean I have to tell her everything.”

“I’m not worried about you telling her,” Ellie sighed frustratedly.

“You’re worried about Jesse,” Addie finished the sentence for her with affirmation, silencing Ellie from continuing. Her silence spoke volumes, and Addie continued. “I know. I wish there was some way I could make you feel better, but the only thing that I can tell you is that, honestly? Dina’s changed since she’s come here. She’s changed ever since she met…” A thin, frail finger placed itself on Ellie’s chest, her head turning with large, pained eyes to meet Addie’s. “…you.”

“You’re just saying that,” Ellie denied with a disbelieving shake of her head, turning it back to stare into the ground on the other side of the room.

“No, Ellie,” she insisted. “I’m really not. Dina’s got her own… complexes and shit, but I know a change in her when I see one. I wouldn’t take any of this personally. She’s always just been… very confused. She runs from her feelings for people, she blocks them out with parties and weed and booze and hookups of all kinds.”

Her words caused Ellie’s brows to furrow in thought. _Runs from her feelings? Also, what does she mean by hookups of all kinds?_

“Wait, what do you mean?”

Addie only chuckled softly and shook her head. “What I’m trying to say is, don’t underestimate Dina. She’s harder to read than you think. Especially when she likes someone.” Standing up and stretching, she took a look at the clock that read just past ten. “It’s late. I should probably get going.”

“Yeah…” Ellie muttered, still lost in painful, whirling thought.

“Unless you need me to stay?” She offered suddenly, as gently as she could.

“No, it’s fine. You can go.”

Addie picked up on the bitter, sour tone that hissed behind the words. With a sigh of defeat and the decision to not push her any further, Addie started to head for the door, before a hand caught the corner of the doorframe leading to the hallway, and she peered in once more to speak again.

“I know it sounds dumb,” she said. “But just give it some time. I’m sure things will turn out quite surprising for you.”

Ellie just shot her a sad look from the bed.

“If you need anything, you know where to find me. I’m here for you, Ells.”

A slow creaking followed her words as she eased the door closed with a click, leaving Ellie completely alone in the dark room to wallow in her pressing, downcast thoughts. Her heart still raced in her chest; her mind still felt like it was exploding in her skull. The horrible, unrelenting feeling of dread fueled the knot in her stomach and disgusted feeling that coursed through her body.

She remembered this feeling – she remembered it from all those times in high school when the girls she’d found herself infatuated with were holding hands with guys, when her ex-girlfriends were off at parties, advertising their sexual endeavors just days after they separated, or when she was texting a girl she liked back and forth and dropping hints to her feelings, but they obviously weren’t reciprocated or they were dodged. Her whole body burned with shame, with complete, utter _jealousy._

The pressure on her chest ached and caused her to reach for the light book she’d been reading earlier and throw it across the room, slamming against the opposite wall and landing gently on Dina’s bed. She felt the sadness creeping up on her, but a more powerful emotion was casting over her and sinking deep into her veins. Anger replaced the sadness and she felt her skin boiling with fury.

_All those times you thought it’d be cute to flirt, huh, Dina? All those times you thought it would be funny to lead me on and call me names and now you’re off with some fuckboy from high school?_ Ellie’s hands found their way on her face and rubbed slowly and firmly, the motion full of anger and frustration. _You couldn’t even fucking tell me. Why? You wanted me in your clutches? You wanted me to just sit there and fall in love with you, so you had some source of attention, was that it?_

The thoughts that swirled within her head only got worse and worse. Finally, she forced herself to stop. She started taking deep breaths and holding the air in her lungs, slowly releasing to allow the vexation to slowly slip away with each exhale.

_“Give it some time,”_ Addie had said. _“I’m sure things will turn out quite surprising for you.”_

_Give me a break. Nothing ever turns out surprising for me. What am I even bothering for?_ Her thoughts turned from anger to angst, and back to anger. _It isn’t worth getting my heart toyed with._

Unaware of the sudden boost of adrenaline, confidence, and anger, Ellie reached for her phone in the next instant. Her mind went blank with distress as she started scrolling through the contacts on her phone, until she found the one she was looking for and pressed ‘call’.

She was barely thinking anymore as she listened to the tone ring, pleading desperately that she wouldn’t be forwarded to voicemail. Her heart still raced with fury and despair, but when the tired voice of the girl on the other end picked up, she felt the tension in her body relax for a moment.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Kat.”

“Ellie? Hi. It’s late. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Hey, listen, I know this is super random and really out of nowhere, but… would you maybe wanna go out and get some dinner some time?”

***

Ellie can’t remember how she went to bed. She can’t remember if she fell asleep angry, or sad, or nervous, or happy. The mixture of emotions was just too much to analyze. All she remembers is that she was alone when she fell asleep.

When she woke up, though, she felt a sort of numbness about her that she guessed was the after-effect of the shock and the distraught from the night before, and the utter heartbreak she felt upon finding out about Dina’s “boy toy”, as Addie called it. There was still a mounting anger within her, and even more so, the devastating feeling of betrayal.

Sitting up in her bed, she propped herself up with one arm and wiped the crust from her eyes. The amount of it had told her that she hadn’t gone to bed with dry eyes, and reminded her that her anger had gotten the best of her emotionally. _When was the last time I cried myself to sleep over a fucking girl?_ She felt the inward shame sweep her, and she felt herself pathetic.

The first place her mind went was to the girl who slept soundly on the other side of the room. When she saw the sleeping face of the shorter girl, Ellie’s heart swelled in her chest. She couldn’t help but admire how peaceful she looked, and soft her freckles skin felt under her fingers…

_No,_ Ellie immediately shut herself down. _No. Stop that shit right now, you fucking idiot. Remember, you know her secret. And she doesn’t know that you know._

Swinging her legs over the bed frustratedly, she felt her temper coming undone again before she started to do the breathing practices that she’d done the night before. When her heart started to beat hard in her chest again, she knew that this aching would never dissipate, not unless she made it known.

_Should I even bother saying anything? What’s the point of bringing it up? Yeah, maybe you’ll feel better, but you’d just look stupid._

An exasperated sigh past her lips as she stood, clad in a tank top and flannel pajama pants, and with a rub to her face, made her way over to her drawers to find an outfit for the day. The shuffling around must’ve woken Dina up, because when her voice broke through the silence of the room, Ellie felt her whole body run cold.

“Morning, sunshine,” she called from across the room. A groan passed her lips as she stretched out, Ellie turning to watch her sit up with a calloused look.

“Hi,” Her response was cold as she turned away, but it was almost as if her mind was battling her to stop the pettiness that her anger was producing. She didn’t want to be harsh and mean to Dina – it was like her body just couldn’t comply with that.

Dina didn’t seem to pick up on it, or, if she did, she didn’t make it obvious. “Did you sleep well, dork?”

“Yeah,” Another curt response finally had Dina suspicious, especially given the fact that Ellie wouldn’t even turn around to look at her.

“Uh, you doin’ okay, Freckles?” Her voice was pressing and a bit concerned.

Ellie wanted to turn around and yell at her, scream at her for the way it hurt, the way that she was willing to keep the secret from her and the way she carelessly led her on. Despite Addie’s hints toward the idea that Dina might’ve liked her back, she pushed all of those to the back of her mind when she spun around with a heavy sigh and piercing eyes.

“Where were you off to last night?” Ellie demanded, a pang of guilt hitting her heart like a bat at the way the words came off. _Don’t feel bad. You’re not doing anything wrong._ Ellie’s mind was at war with itself. _You look stupid. This isn’t your place. Just stop._

Dina’s face read nothing but surprise at the unexpected question. Puzzlement turned her brows downward. “What do you mean?”

“Where were you?” Ellie asked again, this time fiercer and clearly frustrated. “Were you at a party or something?”

“No, I was at a friend’s house,” Dina answered carefully, eyes narrowing and looking off for a second with furrowed brows before returning to her gaze. “Why?”

Taking a deep breath before continuing, Ellie felt her heartrate picking up again. “Was it Jesse?”

Dina looked stunned for a moment at the mention of the name, but her face remained stoic and confused. She almost seemed defeated the way she spoke. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“Addie stopped by to drop your book off,” she cocked her head in the direction of the night table. “She told me about him.”

“Oh,” was the only response Dina mustered out, unsure of what to say.

“Did you plan on hiding him from me forever, or?” Ellie’s arms crossed at her chest, awaiting an answer out of the girl who was clearly taken aback by the sudden confrontation and the way Ellie’s emotions garnered such a rough confidence and sense of self-defense.

“Ellie…” Dina sighed in defeat, her eyes closing and her brows furrowing. “It wasn’t that I was hiding him.”

“You just weren’t gonna tell me,” Ellie cut her off, finishing the sentence before she could continue.

Dina’s eyes seemed hurt and confused. “No, I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.” Her tone was defensive and challenging. Ellie felt the anger building slightly at the way her voice rang, but Dina cut her off. “I didn’t want you thinking I was sneaking off to see some boy.”

“Why would it have even mattered to you?” Ellie challenged; brows furrowed with frustration. “What would it have mattered if you were running off with some random guy, why couldn’t you tell me?” _How bad were you just trying to keep me here to string me along?_

Sighing with bemusement, Dina shook her head. “Look,” her voice was fiercer now. “I… I just didn’t want you to think I was running off with some guy, I don’t know. I don’t know if you noticed, asshole, but I care a lot about you.”

The words caused a spike in her nerves. Never once had Dina openly expressed or admitted to caring about her. Sure, Ellie figured as much, but hearing her say it was completely different than getting the implications. It took her emotions by storm.

“I didn’t want you to think differently of me for going and talking to this guy who won’t leave me alone and keeps trying to just… rehash old shit, and I just keep trying to get out of this situation…” Dina’s exasperated sigh and flick of her wrist in agitation had Ellie’s eyes softening and her mind drawing blanks where the anger had filled in. “I don’t know.”

It was the first time ever that Dina had been so raw and open about her emotions. Usually, she was harder to read than all of her textbooks put together, but that time, she was completely unbolted at the hinges. Ellie was rendered speechless. _Fuck, I really should’ve just waited._

“I thought I’d spend the summer and my college years hooking up with him,” she admitted shamelessly. “But then I got here, and I realized that, no, I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t hook up with him. It just feels wrong.”

“Why does it feel wrong?” Ellie asked, the first time she’d spoken since Dina had vented her feelings out. A twinge of hope and curiosity studded her words.

With hesitation in her response, it looked as if she was about to provide her with one, but the girls face caved and she just sighed. “I don’t know, it just does.”

Ellie pushed the air from her nose as she processed all of the things Dina had said to her. “Well, what did you go over last night for?”

She sighed again and shook her head. “He wanted to… _talk about things,”_ she exaggerated the words with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t want him to just… disappear from my life. He’s meant a lot to me for years. But I told him that last night.”

Ellie’s voice had calmed from the strong storm waves to water lapping at the edge of the beach. “And?”

Again, a look of reluctance crossed soft features. Words threatened to push out from the back of her throat, but she managed to swallow them again. “Nothing. He really did say anything.”

Ellie ruled it best not to pry. She just sighed again and shook her head, the furious beat of her heart had finally calmed its drumming against her chest. Her nerves had started to come down from the emotional adrenaline high, and rational thoughts came storming back in. The sympathy she felt for Dina crashed down and the guilt swept her far under flooding water.

“I really just… didn’t want you getting the wrong idea, and I didn’t want you to think I was doing anything behind your back. I don’t know,” Dina sighed in defeat, but a sudden burst of remembrance hit her. “We’re not together or anything, by the way.

Addie’s words came rushing back, reminding her of how she’d told her how “on and off” they were. “Listen, if you _are_ with him, or you end up back with him…” Ellie’s tongue burned like fire at the way the words pushed out of the back of her throat. “It’s fine.” _Oh, you liar._ “It’s cool, alright?” _You lying bitch._

A curt narrowing of Dina’s eyes indicated to Ellie that she caught onto the venomous way that the words came out, and she was no stranger to the look on Ellie’s face when she downplayed the way she felt. Most times, it was written all over her face. Ellie guessed that this time was no different.

“Well, I don’t think you’ll have to be worrying about that.”

And just as quickly as it intensified, the conversation deescalated into a rather unsure, but comfortable silence. Relief washed over Ellie like the coolest, most refreshing wave on a day of blazing sun. Dina’s assurance that she wasn’t dating a guy that Ellie barely knew was the most refreshing feeling. The anxiety and anger that had burrowed and balled in her stomach had eased up, little by little, that twinge of aftermath doubt inevitably still playing on her emotions. She tried her best to swallow it, though – she knew exciting her nerves again would serve her no good purpose.

It was Dina who was the one to break the silence that fell over them. Her tone was lighter than before, contrasting the heaviness and the density in her voice from just moments ago as she lamented to her roommate about all of her worries regarding Jesse.

“Hey, we should probably change your bandage,” Dina pointed out, a lift of amusement in her tone.

The tattoo and the bandages had completely slipped her mind. Last night and all the way up into the morning, she thought of nothing but the twisting and turning in her stomach at the thought of Dina with someone else – a guy.

“Oh, right…” Ellie murmured hesitantly, but Dina wasted no time opening up the drawer and pulling out the supplies. Suddenly, a pang of amusement hit her. “We?” She repeated Dina’s words, battling the smile that threatened to break through the cracks of her stoic façade.

“Yes, we,” Dina insisted, smiling over at the girl who took a careful seat on the edge of her bed. “What, did you forget you have me to do this for you?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Ellie muttered with a huff, the edges of her lips twitching up into a grin.

“Man, you’re one lucky girl to have me around,” Dina kept her eyes glued to the bandage as she was undoing it, but she spoke with an ever-growing smile across her lips. “Guaranteed you would’ve forgotten this morning without me.”

“I said whatever.”

***

It took quite a few hours for the severity of Ellie’s situation to set in. Of course, in her brain – which she thought was absolutely pea-sized sometimes – she’d been too wrapped up in the anger and jealousy she felt at what she’d discovered was nothing but bullshit to really evaluate the situation she found herself in.

She never regretted a phone call more in her life than the one she made to Kat the night before, setting up a date at one of the university’s little restaurants in the center. It was a little Italian pizza and pasta joint, something she vaguely remembered Kat calling to be her favorite kind of food.

_God, what am I fucking doing? I’m going on a date with a girl to distract myself from another girl. Didn’t think I could get more pathetic than this. Way to fucking go, Ellie._

There was so many thoughts whirling through her mind – what should she do? What was the right thing to do here, more importantly? Did she call off the date with Kat, knowing how into Dina she was? Or did she go through with it to ease her own nerves, and try and move on from the girl she liked? _Do I even want to move on from Dina? Even if she breaks my heart, do I want to stop liking her so much?_ She was too afraid to come up with an answer.

The campus was bustling like it was every day around noon, and, as usual, was busy in her own mind as she hung out in the square, sitting quietly and comfortably under one of the trees in the secluded patches of grass that were found all around. The grass was soft beneath her fingertips, one hand planted in the ground and the other resting in her textbook that she’d completely forgotten about, lost in wandering thought.

Kat was a nice girl – there was definitely so much that Ellie admired about her. And while she had to admit, she was very pretty and definitely someone Ellie could see herself dating, there was always that hesitation whenever she thought about Dina. She thought about it all the time, almost every day, every night when she would lay awake, her dizzying thoughts keeping her eyes open and pressed into the ceiling above her head, her mind steaming from the thoughts that rubbed like friction in her brain. Dina was a constant in Ellie’s mind ­– there wasn’t a day that went by that she was trying to see her, or be near her, or talk to her. This persistent crush she had was taking over every aspect of her life outside her academics. Dina was everywhere, in every tree, every cloud, every crowd on campus, and even the thought of that face had Ellie’s chest buzzing and had her stomach doing backflips in her body.

But there was always that fear that she would just up and leave – find someone else or something else to infatuate herself with, and completely leave Ellie off to the side. It was a constant anxiety that preyed on Ellie’s mind like a vicious predator. There was no break from it.

_She’s too good for you, anyway,_ Ellie’s mind wickedly attacked her. _I mean, look at her. That girl can have any guy she wants. Why would she settle for you, of all people? You’re her roommate; she knows better than you do than to fall for the person you’d be forced to live with for an entire college year. She isn’t naïve enough to sit there and crush on the likes of you–_

“Somebody didn’t get enough sleep last night,” A snarky, familiar voice ripped her from the ocean of thoughts she’d been drowning and utterly suffocating in.

Jumping in her seat, her eyes quickly averted up to find the source of the voice, and she was met by the tall body and smug face of Charlie looking down at her. A wave of relief swept over her upon seeing him. As punchable as it was, it was a familiar face that she trusted.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ellie retorted, scooting over as a signal for him to lean down and hang out, which is exactly what he did when he crouched down and let his behind fall against the grass.

“You were off in la-la land over here for a good five minutes. I was watching you the entire time,” he teased, setting his bag down behind him and letting his upper back rest on it, his long legs extended out and just missing Ellie’s legs when he laid down.

“That’s not creepy at all,” Ellie joked, shooting him a grin.

“Shut up, idiot,” He lightly kicked her, throwing his hands to the back of his head and using it as a pillow against the backpack. “So, what’s goin’ on in that big brain of yours, Eyebrow?”

The hesitation set in immediately. But so did the need to relieve herself of the burdens plaguing her mind. Charlie was a pain in the ass – he was sarcastic and mean and insulting. But she knew for a fact that he was trustworthy. She fully expected a barrage of insults and jokes after she told him, but she definitely trusted him to keep it between them. Besides, Addie already knew, too. What was the harm?

“I’m just in a shitty situation,” she said simply with a sigh, leaving him curious for more.

Sitting up ever so slightly, his eyes found her face and examined it for any clues or giveaways. “Okay, like what? Did you piss off another jock?”

“No,” Ellie breathily chuckled at his remark, referring to the night of the party.

“If you did, did he at least have a bigger dick this time?”

“Oh, my God, just stop talking.”

Charlie’s cackle was comforting. Where she expected herself to be angry at his antics, she found a relieving feeling sweep her.

“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad,” Charlie’s laughing subsided, as he focused back onto the original problem. “I’m sure it’s nothing I can’t heroically give you advice on. What seems to be the issue?”

Ellie rolled her eyes but she was okay with his jesting. Her amusement abated, and finally that same despondent look found her face once more. “Nothing, it’s just that I’m kind of stuck between two people and I don’t really know what to do.”

“Two people, eh?” Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Do I know them?”

“One of them,” Ellie sighed again, the words having to force themselves out as Ellie’s anxiety tried standing in the way. “It’s just such a stupid situation.” She tried to dismiss it, regretting starting the conversation in the first place.

“Okay, so tell me about it,” He insisted, picking out a blade of grass from below him, and holding it up over his face as he prepared to listen.

She found it harder than she’d anticipated to get into it with him. But she knew deep down that she wanted this off her chest, and as much as Addie knew already, it just wasn’t comforting enough. Addie didn’t know nearly enough for it to really feel helpful.

“Well,” Her mind tried to find a compromise for her comfort, and finally she decided on a strategy that she almost hoped in the back of her mind would fail, and he would understand exactly who she was talking about. “Let’s just say, there’s two girls, right. Girl A and Girl B. We’ll call Girl A… uh…” The awkwardness teemed in her voice, and she thought hard for a moment before he interrupted.

“Belle,” he answered quickly, cutting her off with a snicker. Referring to the Disney princess, she figured it was an attempt to fluster her and it almost worked.

_Well, I guess Kat could be a princess sometimes…_ The image of Kat doing her tattoo and laughing and spitting with Mato and the other tattoo artists came flashing into her mind. _Yeah, on second thought, maybe not. But it’ll do for now._

“Okay, Belle, yeah,” Ellie brushed it off for the purpose of the story. “Okay, and the other girl, we can call her…”

Charlie’s response was quick. “The Beast.”

“Yeah – What?! No!” Ellie really hadn’t thought it through when she first answered. When the image of Dina popped into her mind, that’s the only time the picture of the Beast from the movie registered. Charlie’s laughing was inevitable. “They’re not in any way related! Or dating!” Blood rushed to her cheeks at her embarrassment at how he’d managed to catch her off-guard and fluster her.

“Okay, so pick another fucking Disney princess, _girlie,”_ Charlie’s completely exaggerated and mocking tone was accompanied by that same laugh. His teasing wasn’t unappreciated. She found herself laughing through her flustered state.

“You are literally the one who picked the princess,” Ellie stated, reminding him with narrowed eyes. “Doesn’t that say a lot about you?”

“Pick another fucking person,” he dismissed her comment with a snide look.

“Okay, well, since you set the princess thing, we’ll call the second girl Snow White,” Ellie decided finally, preparing herself to, once again, start the story, hopefully without interruption, which didn’t seem to last very long.

“So, wait,” Charlie feigned stupidity. “You’re telling me that Belle and Snow White are lesbian lovers?”

“Literally, who the fuck said that?” Ellie asked, shooting him a completely unamused, frustrated look, but admittedly, she was unfathomably entertained. “I said that they _aren’t.”_

With a brief pause of thought, he answered a moment later with a hum. “Yeah, you’re right, I guess this does say a lot about me.”

Rolling her eyes with irritation, Ellie threw her head back with a sigh before looking back at him. “Okay, just shut up now. So, we have Belle and we have Snow White. Now, I’m in the middle of these two girls–”

“­–Hot.”

Ellie chose to ignore his remark with a quick pause in her sentence and death stare sent in his direction as she kept talking. “I am stuck between these two girls, so–”

“Ooh, so that makes you Prince Charming!” Charlie teased with a hearty laugh when Ellie forcefully shoved a sneaker into his side, using her arms to hold her down into the grass before kicking him.

“Are you fucking done yet?” She demanded, refusing to admit that the jokes were taking her mind off the stressful situation, and giving her a more positive outlook.

“Yeah, no, I’m done now,” he promised, coming down from his bout of wheezing laughter. “Go ahead.”

“Alright,” Ellie sighed, starting over again. Finally, when she was clear of any more last-minute interruptions, she told him the entire story.

“Now, here’s the deal,” she leaned forward to get a better grip on her words. “Belle is this really nice girl that I met out one day and she helped me with my tattoo and texts me all the time. I can see myself with her, and I have a date with her coming up. But then there’s Snow White.” She was about to go into how she lived with “Snow White”, who, incidentally, was Dina, and if she told him that she lived with her, he’d know right away. She wasn’t stupid enough to let that one slide, but it played a big part in the story. _Guess I’ll gotta maneuver around this one._ “Let’s just say… hypothetically, right? Hypothetically, let’s say that I was living in the same castle as Snow White.” _Wow, you’re so fucking bad at this._

Charlie’s eyes seemed to gleam with the notion of _knowing,_ like he fucking knew exactly what she was getting at, but the way his eyebrows bounced and how he suppressed a smile had Ellie’s face masked with shame. “Okay…” He murmured, trying not to give away that he could tell who Ellie was talking about, but she picked up on it.

The hesitation in her voice became apparent. _You are literally blowing this. Come on, Ellie, really?_ “Well… uh… yeah…. So…” All of her thoughts were completely thrown off by the simple interaction. _Fuck, he totally knows now._ “Yeah, so, I’m really like Snow White, but she’s being really confusing and she’s always all over the place. But then, Belle is there and she seems interested in me, but I don’t know if I really see her as anything more than a friend…”

“You know what?” Charlie cut her off dismissively, with a wave of his hand. “Let me tell you a little something, Eyebrow.” He sat up, seemingly more serious than he’d been before, even if his grin deceived him. “I’m gonna tell you a story about a similar situation.”

“Okay,” Ellie sighed in defeat, hoping that, somehow, just maybe, Charlie would come through and be helpful.

“Once upon a time,” Charlie started condescendingly. “There was this girl back in high school that I liked. And eventually, we started talking, and one thing led to another, and everything was a wonderful, loving fuckin’ fairytale love story, right.” The way he exaggerated the words mockingly was very much Charlie. “And then, I met this boy.”

Ellie had to keep her eyes from widening at the realization, but she nodded in understanding.

“He was like my best friend,” Charlie’s face seemed to fall a little bit, which had Ellie immediately hooked into the story. “He and I would have sleepovers all the time, and a lot of the time he was off doing God fucking knows what. Definitely not with me, that’s for sure. And he was a god damn troublemaker, too.” Charlie let an elbow rest against an upright knee, his other arm propped up behind him to hold him up as he sadly looked off into the distance, as if he were unlocking memories he’d fought for years to keep under. “Well, anyway, he was always very back and forth with me. He always hinted at things, and even though I had this other girl, I started to realize that it wasn’t her that I wanted.”

“It was him,” Ellie finished the sentence for him, in clarity and understanding.

Charlie huffed out a small laugh. “You know, sometimes, we don’t have a lot of patience, do we? I mean, for the longest time, I sat there second-guessing myself and just fuckin’… trying to figure it out, like… does he like me? Is he just playing? What if he doesn’t mean it? I doubt he does.”

_This is sounding a tad bit familiar…_ Ellie gulped, still intrigued in the story, the relevance and the relatability taking her captive and working on her mind like rusty gears coming back to life with the spurt of oil.

“I did what I thought was the hardest thing to do,” Charlie turned to her with upturned eyebrows, a sympathetic look gleaming in his eyes. “I waited. I stopped looking into it so much. I stopped thinking about every move he made, or every look he gave him, or even every flirt he threw my way. I stopped showing that I _cared so much._ I don’t know, I guess that did it because, eventually, he started coming after me, and he started being desperate for _my_ attention. It’s like the roles just… reversed. I don’t think he realized how much he wanted me, too, until I started to show that I wasn’t completely stuck on him.”

A moment of silence fell upon the friends, until he turned back to her once more with the most earnest look behind dark eyes.

“You know, if you stopped showing Dina so much attention, she’s gonna starve for it, right?”

Taken aback, Ellie quickly stumbled for an excuse to shield herself, her mind going into a panic at the sudden realization that Charlie knew and had known about everything she was talking about since the start.

“And you know, if you really like Kat, maybe you could try going out with her, right? But forcing yourself or using her to get away from Dina really isn’t the answer, either.”

“How did you kn–”

Charlie rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Please. Hypothetically, if Snow White lived in the same castle as you?” His eyebrow shot up and a grin overtook his lips. “Really, kid? I can see your little crush on her from ten miles away, man. You’re not really good at hiding it.”

Shamefully, she averted her gaze to avoid the humiliation of eye contact with him.

“Oh, come on,” he laughed. “Don’t be like that.” He shoved her knee with a hand as he reached over. “Dina’s hot, I don’t exactly blame you.”

“Thanks,” she remarked in a deadpan.

Charlie broke the silence that followed once again. “Hey, I got an idea,” When Ellie looked over to him with heavy eyes of curiosity, he continued. “Why don’t you bring Kat around with us sometime? Like, maybe the next time all of us go out to eat or hang out or picnic or whatever, she can come along. She seems pretty cool, I’m sure she’d get along with everybody, right?”

It was Ellie’s turn to scoff. “That’s a great idea, and she’s cool, but… Dina hates her.”

With a low, amused chuckle, Charlie slowly shook his head. “Oh, man, kid. You’re in deep, aren’t ya?” He nudged her again, playfully and roughly. “You need a fucking hobby, dude.”

***

There were nights that Ellie went to sleep calm, collected, and warm. She would reflect on her day beforehand and all of the positive interactions that she’d experienced. Other days, she went to bed slightly agitated – whether it was because of schoolwork, or a shitty attitude from someone, or much like that night that she found out about Dina and Jesse.

And then there were nights that Ellie couldn’t place her finger on the reason why they happened, but she went to bed excruciatingly excited, with nothing but one girl on her mind.

_“Fuck, Ellie.”_

She never knew what it was that triggered it. Those nights she would stay up, facing the ceiling, mind completely spinning with images she felt so sinful for imagining, her heart racing and a fire shooting up and down her body. All of those nights, she managed to swallow it, she managed to push the images to the back of her mind and let herself lull off to sleep. But that definitely didn’t mean that those images didn’t follow her into her dreams.

_“What’s gotten into you?” The breathy voice of the girl in front of her radiated from the intoxicating girl’s lips and the heat from the warm breath that pressed against her face sparked a sizzling warmth that ran rampant through Ellie’s body like an infection._

_She had her pressed up against their dorm room door, having closed it hastily after pulling the smaller girl into the room. She put up no fight, and immediately threw herself against the wall, dragging Ellie with her by the collar of her flannel and connecting their lips instantly as her back found the wall with a hard thump._

_Ellie wasted no time slamming the door shut with one hand and bringing it back up to take Dina by the wrists and rip her arms off of her neck with a slam of her hands against the wall she was up against. The action elicited a throaty moan as her head lulled back and Ellie quickly and desperately found her lips placed to that delectable neck. She wasted no time – she never let her lips leave that delicious, freckled skin, and as much as Dina’s hands involuntarily fought against their capturers, she slowly felt the smaller girl melting into the wall and giving into the pleasure she felt when Ellie’s tongue came out to play on her sweat-slicken neck._

_There was no controlling the torrent of arousal that shot down her body when Dina’s breath started to heave, the moist air pushing out heatedly and landing right against Ellie’s face and ear. With every kiss and bite to her neck, Dina’s hands only fought harder to reach out and grab Ellie – wanting those frail hands to ravage the body of the girl who had her pinned. Eventually, when Ellie’s lips ventured up from her neck to her ear, and a hot breath pressed to the skin underneath, Dina couldn’t help it any longer._

_“Fuck…” The involuntary sigh pushed past delightful lips that were swollen from the hard kisses that had been pressed there moments before. There arousal started to become too much for Ellie to contain – especially with the way Dina was reacting to her – and she showed that by taking Dina’s wrists off the wall, but using her arms as a way to maneuver her around, pressing her hard back against the wall, but this time face-first and with her hands behind her back._

_This roughness was something Ellie had always appreciated. She couldn’t begin to explain the excitement she felt by taking over a girl’s body – the way Dina was completely at her mercy, the way she was completely submitting to her and letting Ellie take control of the entire situation – it aroused her to no end._

_“Holy fuck, Ellie,” Dina gasped again, her face pressed to the wall and her hands taken captive behind her back, the weight of Ellie’s body up against her back and keeping her hips locked against the bundle of hands at Dina’s rear._

_“What?” Ellie was only ever confident in her dreams, but that didn’t stop her from completely succumbing to that timely security. “Am I doing something?” Her voice dripped with mocking, with teasing._

_With a sudden strength, Dina ripped her hands free of Ellie’s strong grip, turning herself back around, back pressed on the wall and Ellie launching forward to lock their hips together against the wall, trapping her there again. Dina was always a brat in these scenarios._

_“You really want to have all your fun on the wall?” Dina’s voice was so incredibly enticing – it was so hard for Ellie to resist taking her right there. “We have two beds right there.” A thin, alluring finger found placement on the edge of a thick jawline, slowly brushing along the skin on the bone until it reached the end of her chin, and a hand reached down to grab the strong neck of the taller girl who had control over her. “Don’t make me wait any longer.”_

_The way the grip felt on her neck had Ellie reeling, desperate for more. As much as she enjoyed full control, she definitely didn’t mind those few moments where Dina’s authority kicked in, turning her into a mindless drone with nothing to do but follow her word. But that wasn’t the case tonight. Ellie knew what she wanted and she was going to get it._

_Dina pushed Ellie off her by her neck, releasing that grip and taking Ellie’s hands in her own, eyes locked into a heated stare with the taller girl as she slowly stumbled backwards and her knees hit the edge of her bed, letting her fall back to sit against the mattress, Ellie still standing and glaring down at her torturously, menacingly, unable to contain the ferocity of her arousal for a second longer._

_Lifting her legs and throwing them onto the bed, Dina gasped when her whole body was laying against the length of the bed, and Ellie’s body was quick to find solace above hers, two strong hands pressed against the sides of her head on the pillow underneath, her waist and hips between Dina’s thin legs that were instantly wrapping around Ellie’s torso. Her arms immediately went into Ellie’s hair, especially when the redhead dove in to connect their lips again._

_A groan pulled from Ellie’s lips when Dina amusedly took a fistful of auburn hair and tugged it back hard, resulting in Ellie’s dominance being challenged and a disgruntled Ellie took each arm off of her and slammed them beside her head, pinning Dina’s hands with her own much like she had on the wall._

_“Do you ever let me have any fun?” Dina’s voice was sultry and feigning innocence, referring to her hands never being able to roam around Ellie’s thin, toned body that, in Ellie’s fantasy mind, Dina couldn’t keep her eyes off of._

_“Do you think you deserve it?” Ellie felt the chill run down Dina’s body at the patronizing words that she husked into her ear, lips connecting with her skin immediately after the final syllable was sounded._

_Dina was quick to challenge the girl above her. “Yeah, I’d say so. You made me wait for… so… long…” The way the words passed out from Dina’s lips and the needy groan that followed was so guttural and animalistic that it had Ellie completely drunk off the sound. She couldn’t deny the effect Dina had on her; even given the way she was in total control of the situation._

_Moving her wrists above her head, she used one strong hand to pin down the two wrists while the other found the scrunchie that held long, black hair that fell in an unruly fashion upon the pillow when she mercilessly pulled it out, using the scrunchie to slide over her wrists and hold her hands together._

_“Now, keep those there,” Ellie demanded so harshly and with such a rasp in her voice that a shocked Dina did exactly that – not once did they move, even when Ellie’s hands found the hem of the shorter girls shirt and roughly ripped it up, exposing breasts that sat wonderfully in a black, lacy bra that Ellie had seen plenty of times before outside of her dreams and each time sent a wave of electricity through her nerves._

_The moan that pulled from Dina’s lips when Ellie’s mouth warmly found its way against hot, flushed skin on her chest had Ellie starving for more. In order to get that, she started grinding her hips into Dina’s core, Dina’s legs being wrapped around her torso giving her hips so much more of an advantage, and a harsh gasp fell from Dina’s mouth when she felt the pressure rock into her core._

_There was so much left of Dina to explore ­– every night in her dreams, she felt like she was adventuring into brand new terrain, despite having her mind plagued with these many sinful dreams before. Every night felt new, fresh, and sexier than the ones that came before._

_When Ellie’s hands stopped moving, she quickly leaned up to rip her shirt over her head and she watched, satisfied, as Dina drunk in her upper half hungrily. The toned abs that were splayed under a tight sports bra, her muscular shoulders and riveting collarbones that peeked from behind her skin, and a thick jawline that had Dina, who was helplessly underneath her, left to take in the savory look of the girl above her._

_“Fuck, you are so hot,” she murmured, a gasp escaping as Ellie’s hips rocked again mid-sentence as she spoke. Her small hands twitched above her head, wanting more than anything to feel all over those toned muscles, but being restricted by the band. Ellie never got so high off of any feeling in her life._

_Just as Ellie’s mouth started at her chest and neck, it began going down even further, pressing against the warm, bare skin of her stomach that she knew from many times before was extremely intoxicating and undeniably hot. Dina’s back arched off the bed as Ellie’s mouth went further down, too blinded by the pleasure to even realize that Ellie had been leaving bite marks and hickeys all the way down._

_Skilled hands went to reach for the belt buckle of Dina’s jeans, and she was able to slip them off slowly down her thighs, exposing panties that matched the lacy bra. Seeing that made Ellie’s mind power into overdrive. Dina’s hips started rocking up with want, wanting more friction that was robbed from her when Ellie’s own hips moved, replaced by her upper body and eventually, her mouth._

_“Fuck, Ellie, please,” Dina could only whine when that same pair of lips found delicious inner thighs and began trailing up, her tongue poking out to get a taste of it. “Please…”_

_There was no sound in the world she wanted to hear more than Dina’s whines and moans for her, her begging, and the call of her name. She’d never heard it in reality, but her mind was wild and dangerous the way it created that so easily._

_Her tongue ran along the inside of Dina’s panties, warmth seeping through the fabric and the girl’s hips jerking up with a contortion of her body and a gasp of complete, pristine pleasure–_

“Can one of you open this fucking door?”

The voice tore her viciously from her sleep. Never in all her life did Ellie feel so much rage building in her chest. Only in her mind was she able to live out these fantasies that she was convinced would never happen, and here the harsh voice of Charlie and his hand rapping at the door impatiently. She was sure she breathed fire as she sat up in her bed, only to instantly find her eyes checking to see if Dina was awake, and she was looking back at her with an equally as annoyed look crossed on her face.

“We know you guys are in there,” The soft voice of Devon – who tried to harden his melodic voice for the sake of sounding more firm and brooding like the taller boy outside with him – was clear, and there was definitely a smile upturned on those lips from outside, to which an audible smack was heard from Charlie.

“Can you guys just wake the fuck up already?” Charlie’s impatient hand smacked against the wood of the door. “Did you guys have a fun night or something?”

She hadn’t even known Dina was awake until she heard the smug call out from the girl in the bed on the other side of the room. “She wishes!”

Immediately, Ellie leaped from the bed, mortified, throwing the covers aside and, in her boxers, t shirt, and bedhead, she made her way over to the door to open it with an embarrassed, infuriated scowl.

“What the fuck do you want?” She demanded, shooting a death glare to Charlie for his remark about the girls.

Charlie whistled at Ellie’s tired, messy appearance, spiking more blood to Ellie’s face, before Devon took over and began speaking.

“Well, Dina needed help with something for her science class, and we planned to meet up this morning to do it together,” Devon explained calmly, with that sweet look on his face. “I guess she forgot.”

“And I–” Charlie pushed his way past Devon, who stood in front of him, the shorter boy shooting him a deadpan look from the side. “–am here for you, Eyebrow.”

“What do you need?” Ellie huffed impatiently.

Charlie put a large hand on a broad shoulder. “We’re gonna go find you a hobby, and I got just the idea for you, freshman.”

“You’re literally a–” Ellie stopped trying to remind Charlie that he was in the same class as she was ages ago. “Whatever. What did you have in mind? Also, why couldn’t you just let me find my _own_ club or something? When did you become my father?”

“The day you started coming to me for girl advice,” Charlie teased.

Ellie whipped her head around to nervously glance back at Dina, who sat upright with an eyebrow raised upon her forehead and a grin formed at her lips with dangerous curiosity and intrigue at Charlie’s words.

“So, you mean, yesterday?” Ellie furrowed her brows and widened her eyes, pleading silently for him to stop, knowing Dina was _right there._

“Yeah, son, yesterday,” he teased, nudging her hard. “Anyway, come on, let’s go, hot shot. Put some fucking clothes on.”

“Okay, but you’re waiting the fuck out here,” Ellie told him without question, half-slamming the door in their faces before turning and leaning up against it with a heaving sigh.

Dina’s eyes were on her immediately, riddled with amusement and that same devilish interest. “Ms. Williams. So, girl advice, huh?”

“Shut it.”

***

“The boxing club?”

Charlie had dragged her all the way across campus to the university center, teasing her the entire time about how Dina had been staring at her back and eyeing her up and down when she was at the door with the boys – all things she was fairly certain were completely untrue and meant to throw her off. He brought her all the way out, and finally, they ended up at the club board by the guidance offices. The one Charlie had pointed out specifically was a poster of a large pair of boxing gloves with _Big Horns Boxing_ written across the top, specifying details about signing up and the location of the gym.

“Yeah?” Charlie raised an eyebrow and looked down at the puzzled girl. “Are you kidding? Can you imagine how cool it would be to be on the boxing team?”

“Why don’t you join then, dickface?” Ellie shot him a deadpanned look that was met with a roll of his eyes.

“Because,” he shrugged. “I don’t exactly fit fighter material. But you? You’ve got these–” he reached down and pressed the bicep of her arm. “And these–” he slapped her abdomen gently, implying the toned abs hidden underneath her hoodie. “Dunno if you noticed, I’m not built for fighting. But you fuckin’ are.”

The idea was starting to sound just a little more appealing. In her mind, Ellie was completely ruling this out ­– this was ridiculous and it would never work, simply because she wasn’t a fighter. But then the other half started to picture what it would be like to box, and somehow, in the deeper recesses of her brain, boxing gloves and hand wraps and punching bags were starting to make sense.

Charlie’s little sales pitch was starting to really work on her.

“I don’t know, Char…” Ellie’s reluctance pushed forward. Part of her really was considering it, but the other was completely hesitant.

“Oh, come _on,”_ Charlie groaned. “I brought you all the way here. You can’t tell me this isn’t a cool idea.”

Quietly, she let her mind ponder the options. It took a moment for Charlie to give in to the silence.

“Well, I’m gonna run to the bathroom,” Charlie shrugged. “You think about it for a minute. I really think you should do it.”

Ellie huffed out of her nostrils as he walked off, eyes still scanning over the board and over the flyer. There were blank lines listed with a pen beside the poster for anyone who was interested in signing up. She really wanted to write her name.

Maybe it was recklessness, or carelessness, or something else, but when she took the pen out of the holster and scribbled her name and phone number on the line, the feeling she got from getting the tattoo came swarming back, only this time, she truly felt like a champion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! New chapters will be up very soon, with some taking longer than others as I try to pack each chapter with content. This one turned out to be around 15,000 words! Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to tell me what you think!


	4. Face to Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only thought in her mind was Dina’s face, those anxious eyes watching her, zoned in on the blood spurted across the ring floor. And what those worried eyes would look like turning as bright as the sun when Ellie’s name was called as the champion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i am so so sorry about the wait for this chapter. i know its been a minute!
> 
> simply put, life's been pretty hectic. getting back to work and getting ready for college hasn't been the easiest on my stress. 
> 
> but! i made it up to you guys. this chapter's word count is double what the other chapters are. it landed at 30,245 words. which is... fucking nuts. but its a good chapter and it's got alot in it – including ellie's first fight! – so i really hope you enjoy and i hope it was worth the wait. thank you for your relentless patience!
> 
> this chapter is based on the song "face to face" by rex orange county. it parallels with the two biggest scenes in the chapter. please give it a listen if you can while reading :)
> 
> this chapter means so much to me, because as ive said on my tumblr, ellie's boxing careers mimics the path of my own. i box myself, and ive done competitions and matches and fought all over my state. this is the most important part of the story for me, as i miss boxing very much and hold the experiences, the knowledge, the friends and coaches, and the sport very close to me. i hope you all enjoy. :)

_Duck, duck, right._

Strong feet were planted firmly in the ground, arms raised up to a freckled face, elbows pointed in to protect a chiseled midsection. Ellie’s eyes were sharp and target-locked on the young boy standing in front of her – a similar stance, only there was one problem: his elbows weren’t strategically placed much like hers. _A weak point._

Her red gloves housed strong, hard hands that balled tight into fists protected by thick padding. The boy in front of her – a teammate, a friend – named Tomas, was a lean-built guy that stood about five foot seven. His tan skin and dark hair rivaled Ellie’s lighter complexion. He bore no shirt, just his boxing shorts. She matched him, safe for a sports bra tightly clasped around her chest.

_Duck, duck, left._

Dodging each punch from her opponent, Ellie countered quickly with a left hook across his cheek, knocking his face in the same direction and giving Ellie’s dominant right arm an opportunity to throw a blow to his midsection, left vastly unprotected, and even more so after being stunned by Ellie’s strong left hook.

Grunting and gasping for air, Tomas struggled to stay on his feet, giving Ellie the advantage when she buried two punches, one after the other, into the gloves beside his face, once again throwing him into a weakened disadvantage with his pained abdomen, and Ellie was able to bury another against his right cheek, bringing him to his knees and prompting the finishing whistle from their coach on the outside of the ring.

“That’s a wrap, guys,” Frank threw a glance to his watch before looking up with a ferocious smile. “Impressive stuff.”

Ellie was quick to jump forward, ripping a glove off her right hand and extending it down to the winded boy on the floor. Panting, he looked up exhaustedly before Ellie secured her grip around a skinny forearm, using her might to bring him to his feet.

“Thanks…” he panted out, leaning up against the nearest posts with a glove against his abdomen.

Ellie examined him carefully with a cock of her head to the side. “You good?”

“Doing wonderful,” his sarcasm was playful, accompanied by an easygoing, breathy chuckle. “Man, you hit hard.”

A smile broke onto Ellie’s lips, both with pride and amusement at her friend’s inability to properly catch his breath from her sheer strength and skill in the ring. “Naturally.”

“Ellie,” a call of her name had both her and Tomas’s heads turning toward the direction of their coach, who motioned with his hand for Ellie to come over, eyes never leaving his clipboard against the mats beside the ring.

Extending her gloved hand, Tomas sweetly bumped his glove against hers – a sign of mutual respect, affection, and camaraderie amongst boxers – before she headed off toward where her coach was standing.

“You needed me?” Ellie crossed a gloved arm across her abdomen, letting the free one dangle at her side as she stood sloppily waiting for what Frank had to say.

After jotting down a few more words, he placed the clipboard back down on the mats and turned his attention to his student. “No, nothing, that was just some excellent sparring. That was probably the best I’ve ever seen you perform. Your first fight should be nothing but smooth sailing, Williams.”

_Oh, right… fuck._ Ellie had done her best for multiple days to forget her first fight even existed. It had been over a week and a half that Ellie had been on this team. She started training right away, and at her first sparring match, it was then that she and everyone else in the room discovered simultaneously that Ellie Williams had a gift – she could kick everyone’s ass in the room in boxing matches if they tested her.

Frank had called her a natural – a born fighter. She’d been training a week and already outmatched most of the people on the team. For Ellie, it was simple, really. Maybe she was just fit as it was, but dodging and punching seemed easy enough. It was simple movements – left, right, back, forward. She used shapes to mark out where her feet should be placed, which way her body should move in the ring. To her, boxing was a simple concept. To others, she was an absolute prodigy, and a champion amidst their team.

But despite all of that, despite her undying skill and mastery in the ring, there was still no stopping the knot in her stomach every time she was reminded of the fact that she was going to be forced to put those skills to the test in a widely-attended, public ring, with people who may be thousands of times better than she ever was.

“Ah, right,” Ellie struggled to hide the nervousness in her voice. She brought her glove up and prodded at her face to wipe it, a signature sign of her anxiety.

Frank caught on rather quickly. “What? Don’t tell me you’re nervous,” his smile was contagious, and the grin that formed on her lips instantly gave her away. “You’re kidding. I don’t think you’ve ever seen the way you fight.”

Furrowing her eyebrows in amused confusion, Ellie’s grin only curved further upward.

“Kid, you’re god damn amazing,” his light Southern accent peered through in his sincerity. “I’ve never seen someone come in here, fresh off the boat, and clean up shop like you. You’re gonna kick ass at the match on Friday.”

_Friday… ugh._ Every day that passed just got closer and closer and it plagued Ellie’s mind. _There’s really no escaping this, huh?_ Running from it was only making her anxiety worse. But facing it…

“Thanks, coach,” Ellie rubbed the back of her head, the same hairstyle she wore almost every day the one she sported in the ring – a small ponytail with the rest of her short hair hanging down. Her fingers fell over the length of her hair, her usual awkward shrug accompanying the nervous gestures.

“Just keep yourself rested, yeah? We’ll do a quick review of everything you need to know before getting in the ring Friday night.”

“Sounds good.”

“Just remember, the match is at eight sharp, but you’re fighting first. So, be here no later than seven, okay?”

“Yup,” Ellie reached down and grabbed one of the towels off the rack, tossing it over her shoulder after giving it a quick wipe across her face. “I’ll be there.”

“Ellie!” Tomas’s voice came from just outside the ring. Still hunched over, when Ellie looked to him, he took his free gloved hand and pointed it toward the door.

With a turn of her head, she was met with a lovely sight in the doorway – Dina was standing there, leaned up on the frame, container full of some kind of food tucked into her small hands. She was grinning broadly, and her eyes were devilish when Ellie turned her body toward her. She definitely didn’t miss her wandering eyes that she guessed had been admiring her for multiple minutes before Tomas pointed her out.

Instantly, Ellie moved over to the doorway where the shorter girl stood, eyeing her shamelessly with such a mischievous smirk plastered across her face that held the remnants of a genuine smile of admiration behind its heinous promiscuousness.

“Well, hello there,” Dina purred, the teasing smirk still stitched into her lips. Dina loved to fucking tease. Ellie had grown to love it, though.

Ellie eyes rolled as a retaliating grin creeped up on her lips. “Hi, Dina.” Taking the towel and brushing the buds of sweat off her head, she shot a confused look at the container in her hands. “What’s in the thing?”

Her mouth twitched up a little with sincerity. “Well, I knew you were hard at work over here, so I figured I’d run you over some of Addie’s homemade pasta,” She held up the container and let Ellie take a look at the clear underneath. “It’s really good. She dropped some off, like, an hour ago. You getting hungry, Muscles?”

The new nickname sent a jolt down her spine and prompted her eyes to go wide, her hand freezing in midair when she went to take the container from Dina’s hands. The look of shock written across Ellie’s face had Dina chuckling lowly as she extended her arms, letting Ellie take it slowly from her hands.

“Well, are you?” Dina asked again when Ellie didn’t answer, her voice riddled with utmost amusement.

“A-A little…” Ellie responded, sending a glare in her direction when the blood finally settled in her face. “Hard day of training.”

“I can see that,” Dina’s brows shot up promiscuously, eyes falling downward to the sweat outlining a toned stomach. “Well, actually, if I’m being honest, I noticed a while ago.”

“Yeah, how long were you even standing there?” Ellie shot her a narrow-eyed look before turning her attention to pulling the lid off and taking a peek into the container. She was met with the wonderful sight and smell of fresh pasta and sauce. Suddenly, she noticed the ache in her stomach that had probably been there for quite some time, but she found herself distracted by the lovely girl in front of her.

“Not long,” Dina assured playfully. “What a shame, though, had I known you were gonna look this good, maybe I would’ve showed up a little earlier.”

“Ha, ha,” Ellie shot her a deadpan look, the words falling from her lips unamused and monotone. It was one of the only ways she knew how to hide her embarrassment around the girl.

Taking a look over her shoulder, she saw Coach Frank carefully working on some techniques with Tomas. She took that as her cue to wrap for the night. It was almost time to go, anyway. And surely, he wouldn’t mind after the good round she had.

“Here, c’mon,” Ellie cocked her head to the right, closing the lid on the pasta and heading off, knowing Dina would follow.

Heading into the locker room, she brought the girl all the way down to the end where her locker was located, the small room with multiple rows of lockers that jutted from wall and created room for everyone was completely empty, leaving just them, thankfully. Ellie figured talking out in the boxing gym was a little more awkward and uncomfortable than if the two of them had some time together alone.

Taking a seat on the bench in the center of the lockers, closed off by two walls of them, she carefully took the lid off and reached for the plastic fork inside the container, eager to get a bite of the pasta. Addie had cooked for them a few times beforehand – fresh-baked bread, salads with fresh chicken, and even homemade brownies at one point – and this time, she was just as excited to try what the talented girl had made for them.

Dina was leaned up on the lockers beside her, arms crossed and one leg over the other, her eyes watching carefully as the girl took a first bite of the pasta.

Ellie was in awe at how good it tasted. There was nothing like Addie’s cooking. Ellie and Dina would pig out upstairs whenever she brought something over for them. This time, when the sigh left Ellie’s nostrils as she took in the flavor of the food, Dina couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Long day, huh?” She asked, the grin never leaving her face.

Ellie exaggeratedly looked up; eyebrows strained on her forehead. “Like you wouldn’t believe…” Her mouth was a little full, but judging by Dina’s smile, the words got across anyway.

“How was practice, loser?”

Ellie shrugged as she swallowed. “It was alright,” She scratched at her jawline as she continued to talk, looking off straight instead of up at her roommate. “Had a pretty good final round with Tomas, apparently."

“Oh, yeah… I caught the end of that,” Dina smirked deviously, prompting a roll of her eyes from Ellie. Suddenly, Dina noticed something on Ellie’s face, and with a giggle of amusement, she leaned down with the edge of her shirt in her hand. “Jesus, here…”

Wiping the sauce that had unknowingly stuck to Ellie’s face when she messily took a bite of her pasta, Dina switched her full attention to carefully getting it off. Ellie felt a surge of blood reach her face when Dina’s hand pressed roughly against her opposite cheek to hold her head in place. Just the closeness and having Dina up so near her was enough to knock her brain into a flustered frenzy of panic, adoration for the girl, fear of judgment, and sinful ideas that she pushed to farthest recesses of her mind.

“Thanks…” Ellie mumbled when she pulled away, a triumphant look on the girl’s face when she saw Ellie’s freckled face was clear of any sauce. A moment of silence passed over them when Dina hummed in response to her gratitude. Suddenly, Ellie felt the weight of the upcoming match setting in on her. With a sigh, she leaned back a little, eyes finding the ceiling when she breathed out. “The first match is on Friday…”

“I know,” Dina responded, tilting her head to watch her closely. “You ready for it?”

“I _think…”_

“You _nervous?”_ She pressed again, eyebrows lifting gently.

Ellie pursed her lips unsurely and brought her eyes back to Dina. “I don’t know. A little bit?” Her shrug made Dina’s features soften. “Maybe it’s just because it’s my first fight…” Ellie theorized aloud. Something about talking to Dina or having Dina there to listen to her somehow eased the anxiousness, and the weight she felt building on her chest.

“Oh, El,” Dina sighed, a light smile overtaking her face. A small hand reached out and touched down on a broad, naked shoulder. “I’m sure that’s all it is. I mean, you’re an insane fucking fighter. If you do anything like what I saw you do for the last minute or so in the ring, you’ll send their ass packing out of the ring.”  
  


The way Dina spoke – reassured her – and the way the concern riddled her voice endeared Ellie to no end. She was used to the moral support from Dina. The girl always had her back, and Ellie was never more grateful. But, in her times of need, hearing this soft side of her roommate – one that came out rarely – always had Ellie reeling.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Ellie sighed in defeat, the welling in her chest full of adoration for the girl standing above her. “I’m sure I’ll get over it.”

Dina patted her shoulder before releasing her hand and letting it dangle. “Trust me, you’re gonna kick their ass. I can see it, I’m psychic.”

“Psychic?” Ellie glanced up at her, an eyebrow cocked, and a look of unamused amusement plastered across her face. “Really?”

“Damn right,” Dina continued, her joke accompanied with a goofy smile that Ellie grew to love so much.

The two girls laughed it off, and Ellie placed the lid back on the pasta after another quick bite. _Probably best to just wait until we get home, anyway._ A comfortable silence fell over them once again, but the mood quickly shifted no more than seconds later when Dina interrupted.

“Hey, so…” She awkwardly reached a hand out, almost as if she was aiming to grab a strong arm for attention, but gave up halfway.

She remained silent until Ellie’s head turned, full attention going into the very unfamiliar tone in Dina’s voice, and the hesitation that was written all across her face. It almost startled her, really, but Ellie kept it together, dying to know what else was on the beautiful girl’s mind. Ellie’s gaze had her lips moving again, and the words tightly pulled from her throat.

“I don’t know, maybe this is stupid, but…” Dina’s reluctance was heavy and weighted on Ellie’s ears and chest. She was completely invested in the words spilling from the shorter girl’s mouth. “I really just thought about it, and, uh… I don’t know, I really like spending time with you.”

The confession was more surprising than her tone, and Ellie was almost stunned where she stood, having had been walking in the opposite direction. _She what…?_

“Wow, look at you,” Ellie was quick to immediately play off her words in a joking manner. “Somebody’s sappy.”

Dina rolled her eyes, but there was almost a sense of annoyance cast on her face at her inability to properly convey what she wanted to say. That, and having Ellie not take it seriously enough because she didn’t know what she was trying to say, either.

“Stop it,” she dismissed quickly, back to the point. “No, but I really wanted to know if you wanted to, I don’t know, maybe… maybe get out, just the two of us, maybe tomorrow night or sometime this week?” The shyness in her voice had Ellie in more shock than anything, but it also had Ellie’s confidence taking an upward turn at how careful and nervous Dina was to ask her to go out somewhere.

“Again, you sap,” Ellie teased, only met with a glare. A serious turn claimed her expression right after, though. _Dina wants to go out… just the two of us… with me? Is this her asking me on a da–_ “You’re sweet. I’m definitely down to go out sometime.”

Dina almost seemed surprise by the answer. Her eyes widened ever so slightly in excitement, but Ellie caught it. She caught almost everything – she knew Dina inside out and cherished every bit of her. Also, how could she resist that adorable face every time Ellie did something to prompt Dina to be happy or excited about something.

“The only thing is, though,” Ellie cut herself off, remembering the looming fight and the toll it had been taking on her. “Can I take a raincheck to maybe, like, next week or something? I just wanna get this fucking fight out of the way, and then I can breathe normally again.”

Her request was nothing but good-natured and loving. She prayed Dina understood. And, as always, Dina did. She was very quick to, her instant response coming as, “Of course, Freckles. Whenever you got time, okay? Don’t worry.”

“Hey, maybe we can study tomorrow night, if you want?” Ellie suggested with a smile. “I’m still gonna have to stay on top of my school and shit. And we got that math test next week”

The smirk Dina had been wearing through most of their time talking gently faded into this sincere smile that had Ellie winded – like a wave just took her and threw her feet out from underneath her, completely sweeping her.

“That sounds nice,” she said, looking away for a second to smile a little bit brighter. “Just let me know when you’re available, doofus.” She turned back and smiled with those beautiful teeth, once again leaving Ellie breathless at the sight.

With a nod, Ellie terminated the conversation, but it ended on a good note, leaving a sweet taste on Ellie’s tongue. Both the girls fell into silence again, Ellie placing the container down and throwing her drawstring bag over her shoulder and letting the strings pull against her chest.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Ellie asked sweetly, throwing the sweaty towel over her shoulder and lifting the container to carry it out.

Dina’s smile was contagious as she followed the taller girl out the front door and to the sidewalk leading to their home.

***

The night came and went fairly quickly – before Ellie knew it, it was the next morning and the sun was pouring in through the window, lighting up their room with that same bright white tint. The blue sky littered with pretty white clouds that Ellie saw when she stood from her bed and went to look outside set a smile on her face and put her in a good mood already.

Dina had been busy working on something on her laptop by the time Ellie had awoken, laying back against the head side of her bed, upright against the wall and the pillows, typing away.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Dina greeted, glancing away from her screen at the sound of Ellie rustling in the sheets to stand.

“Morning,” Ellie groaned with a stretch, sitting back down on the edge of the bed to wipe her eyes. “You got some last-minute homework or something over there?”

“You know me so well,” Dina joked, a small, sly grin stitching across her lips as her eyes stayed glued to the screen.

Ellie just scoffed amusedly and shook her head, standing to go make her way over to her dresser to get some clothes for the day. She settled on a plain gray t-shirt and a pair of her usual jeans. She tied her hair back from its resting position to one of her two usual styles – this morning it was the little ponytail in the back.

The silence had her mind reminded of the night before, when Dina came to visit, and their talk in the locker room. The way that Dina had expressed her want to spend time with Ellie… it stuck in her mind like glue, the encounter repeating like church bells in her mind, liberating her soul to know that Dina wanted to hang out with her and her alone. _God, I feel like such a high school teenager again._

“So, about that whole thing… you know, the whole spending time together thing…” Ellie slipped her pants on with a grin as she turned to face the girl who had stopped typing almost immediately, but her eyes stayed plastered on the computer, almost as if she were a deer caught in headlights – something that very rarely happened with Dina.

“What about it?” She asked as nonchalantly as possible, but Ellie saw right through it.

With a small chuckle, Ellie clarified. “Well, I’m really excited to do whatever you had in mind. But I was wondering what that _was.”_ Ellie’s anxiety had almost completely evaporated as she saw Dina’s walls crumble before her eyes behind a stoic expression.

Dina seemed shocked at the question. But a grin grew quickly across her lips. “Well, I already talked to Jayson about it, and he’s okay with us borrowing his car for a while. I was thinking maybe you and I could drive up to one of my favorite hangout spots. It’s up on the mountain, overlooking the city.”

The images swirling in her head at how Dina described it had her heart racing and that same jittery feeling sweeping her nerves. Ellie had only ever seen pictures of the views from the mountains surrounding the city on nights where she became bored and searched around on Maps to get different angles and feels for the city she resided in. Never had she had the chance to actually drive up and see it for herself.

“It’s this really cute spot and we can bring a stereo and our polaroid camera and we can hang out up there,” Dina continued, her suggestions previously having already sold Ellie on the idea. “We could go at a really pretty time, like sunset, if you want.”

“Yes,” Ellie responded, not missing a beat. “Yes, we should so do that.” Ellie reiterated herself, less emotion backed in her words. A smile was inevitable, and she caught herself in a daydream land thinking of that euphoric moment, alone with Dina. It really _did_ seem like a date now.

“Okay,” Dina’s voice was soft and quiet, but it was riddled with satisfaction. Sometimes, with Dina, the shyer she was, the more excited she was.

Her frantic mind and heart sent shocks of excitement throughout her body, escaping in the form of a goofy smile that Dina must’ve taken note of and admired because she turned back to her screen with an even bigger, goofier smile on her face, and the adoration that swept the taller girl in that moment was almost so overwhelming, she was tempted to go over there and just kiss–

_Knock, knock._

Ellie didn’t know whether to be relieved or frustrated at the two boys that stood outside her door when she opened it. The logical side of her was thankful that they kept her from doing or saying something really stupid, something that could’ve jeopardized the relationship she had with Dina, but the other, impulsive side of her wanted to clash their heads together and send them flying down the stairs with a foot to the back of the ass.

“What’s up, homeslice?” Charlie’s smug, instigating voice had Ellie’s blood pressure spiking already. Beside him, Devon stood timidly, a light blush across his rosy cheeks.

“Hey, Ellie,” he greeted kindly.

“Hi, guys,” Ellie answered, much more monotone and emotionless than she meant to come across. “What’s up?”

Charlie threw a glance over Ellie’s shoulder at the smaller girl who had scooted up to see who was at the door, and with the most devious grin, said, “Oh, I’m sorry, we’re not interrupting anything, are we?”

Immediately, the blood shot to Ellie’s face and daggers pierced through Charlie with cold, sharp green eyes burying into him dangerously. “No, you’re not.”

“Well, with the way _you_ were smiling like a geek when you came to the door–” Charlie cocked his head forward at Ellie. “–I figured we may have walked into something that’s tempting to be a part of, but with my better judgment, something I _don’t_ want to be a part of.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Bold of you to assume that two people can’t just be roommates without anything else behind it. Maybe you should get your mind out of the gutter.”

“The day you stop being a pussy is the day I’ll get my wonderful mind out of the gutter,” Charlie reiterated, throwing a dig at her for her inability to come to terms and own up to her feelings for the girl who was just amusedly watching their banter unfold behind her.

Huffing, Ellie’s eyes shot right back up to his smug ones. “If you have such a fetish for roommates, why don’t you go fuck yours and leave us out of it?”

“Well, you see,” Charlie scoffed. “That’d be nice, but…” The hesitation is his voice was palpable in the air around them. “I’m not gay, so that wouldn’t exactly work out.”

_They don’t know…_ Ellie became fully aware of Charlie’s situation right away. It didn’t take her any more than merely a second to realize that nobody knew about the romance he shared back at home with that boy… no one, probably, other than her. Immediately she quieted herself, and the idea of clapping back with some kind of joking referencing his sexuality vanishing on the spot.

“Could’ve fooled me, string bean,” she crossed her arms and leaned up against the wall, throwing a knowing smirk in his direction, and there was almost this appreciative flicker in his eyes that put Ellie at peace knowing she did him right.

Devon shook his head with an amused sigh. “Are you ready to go, or what? You didn’t even tell her why we’re here.” He threw a nudge at Charlie’s arm, prompting a playful glare from the taller boy.

“Yeah, yeah,” Charlie dismissed him jokingly, turning back to Ellie with a new brightness in his expression. “So, I was talking to Jayson, Addie, and your friend over there and they’re in agreement that we should totally have dinner or something before your big match. Kind of like a big ‘good luck, break a leg’ thing. Doesn’t have to be anything crazy. Just something for a little morale boost before you go kick ass in the ring.”

Ellie felt the smile creeping up on her lips at the kindness from her friends. Her heart swelled deeply in her chest and she couldn’t help the wave of appreciation that crashed over her. And Dina had been amongst them all talking and hadn’t slipped a word about their little plan the entire time. She turned around for a second to see if it was true, and the grin she was met with from her beautiful roommate confirmed it all. She turned back with a stomach full of flapping butterflies.

“That sounds… fucking fantastic,” Ellie admitted, words coming out through a deep breath. “I’ve been freaking out about this match for days. That would definitely help take my mind off it.”

“Good,” Charlie nodded curtly. He was about to finish and say goodbye, when she watched a thought pop into his mind. “Oh, and, you know what? You should bring that girl you talked about. Kat, right?” The blood in Ellie’s body turned to ice in her vessels. “Yeah, you should bring her.”

Taking a deep breath that she prayed they didn’t catch, she shrugged a shoulder and shifted her mouth. “Yeah, maybe…” She didn’t even dare to turn around.

Charlie quickly lightened the mood with a teasing tone. “Careful, I might try and take her for myself, Romeo.”

“Yeah, okay,” Ellie lifted herself off the wall to place her hands on scrawny shoulders and push him out the door, letting innocent little Devon follow suit out after him. “Get lost.”

“Love you, too, freshman,” Charlie winked before starting down the hall, leaving Devon to stand there and say his own goodbye.

Ellie rested an arm above her head on the doorframe. “Where you guys headed?” She asked the smaller boy quickly, who turned to look down the hall at Charlie and turned back with a smile.

“Going to get some breakfast, you guys wanna come?”

“Ah, man, I got class soon,” Ellie replied with a sigh. “Rain check?”

“Sure,” he nodded sweetly. Glancing over Ellie’s shoulder, he called out. “Bye, Dina!”

“Later, Dev,” Dina called back.

“See ya, Devon.”

“Bye, El.”

With that, she softly closed the door as he turned off to catch up with Charlie. Even after the door clicked into place, she kept her hands against the wood and the knob, taking a deep breath and not daring to turn around.

It was Dina who spoke first, much to Ellie’s fright, causing her to jump slightly.

“So, Kat, huh?”

Her body filled with dread as she sighed deeply and turned around, back to the door, finally facing the shorter girl who wore almost an amused look on her face, eyes dark and peering over her laptop screen, looking right into her soul.

“Yeah…” Ellie awkwardly scratched the underside of her jaw, eyes averting anywhere else but at Dina. “I don’t know, I guess they really want to meet her.”

“Oh, no, that’s good,” Dina reassured, but there was such a sour taste of deviancy and bitterness in that usually confident, playful voice that it burned that back of Ellie’s throat and made it hard for her to gulp the sudden saliva that formed at her anxiety. “I’m dying to meet her.”

_Oh, dear God. Just what I needed before a fight._ Ellie only chuckled awkwardly, eyes widening when she turned away toward her closet. _This might be the biggest disaster of my life._

***

She had just been walking out of her music comp class when the anxiety hit her again. The rush of sudden panic, the thought of the match coming up sending her body into a panicked frenzy that she kept hidden behind a stoic expression no one but a few seemed to be able to break.

When her heart started pounding in her ears, and she felt the sweat beading at her forehead, she knew to get out of dodge as quick as possible. Scampering away from her building, she headed off to the lake, on the same bench that she’d sat at before to quietly study and read to herself – one of her most tranquil and important relaxation spots that she held very dear and near when Dina wasn’t around to immediately distract her from her worries.

_Fuck, I wonder if Dina is around right now. Maybe I can call her and unload._ She was her go-to girl for these problems, but she had to admit that a lot of times she felt the need to repress the feelings of panic to avoid bringing her problems onto Dina – a lot of times, too, it was out of fear of scaring her off.

_No, wait, I can’t. She’s at her dance studies class right now… fuck._ Ellie was ashamed to admit she had slightly intentionally and slightly unintentionally memorized Dina’s schedule. _I gotta call somebody. I’m freaking out._

That’s when Kat’s face appeared, fresh in her mind, as her surroundings hit her, and she realized this was where they had met. Even though they’d met up plenty of times afterward, it was this spot that was always significant. She wasted no more time thinking before she pulled out her phone and quickly scrolled down to her contact, never having changed it from when she put it into her phone.

The ringer ran a few times, and each time filled Ellie further with dread. Until finally, it cut off midway and the sweet voice of the girl on the other line cut through her anxiety like a hot knife on butter.

“Hello?” She asked, almost confused as to why she was getting a call from her at such an odd time.

“Hi,” Ellie’s voice was far too shaky for her liking, and as much as she’d tried to stabilize it and suppress the nervousness, it came to no avail when Kat clearly caught on immediately.

“Hey, Ellie,” she was sweet and gentle in her words. “Are you doing okay?”

Gulping and taking another nervous breath, she nodded as if she were there in front of her. “Yeah, no, I’m good. I’m just… really fucking panicked by this match, I’m not gonna lie.”

“So, you finally broke, huh?” She sounded amused on the other end. Kat had caught on days ago that Ellie was scared for her fight, but every time she asked, Ellie would play it off like it was nothing. It was a comforting way to forget about it, and to think she didn’t seem like a big wimp in front of the girl she’d been trying to impress.

“Shut up,” Ellie grumbled, prompting a giggle from the girl on the other side of the phone. That laugh filled her veins with relief, easing the panic that had built up in them. “I can’t help it, okay?”

“Big, tough Ellie Williams is all scared of the fight now,” Kat teased. “Three days ago, you were telling me how nobody could beat you in the ring, remember? What was it that you said? You have–”

“The mighty abs of steel.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Ellie couldn’t help the breathy chuckle at the reminder of their joke. “I mean, I still do. They’re just a little rusty because I’m nervous.”

“You know, there’s something so unsettling about picturing you with metallic abs, Ellie.”

“Hey, come on, don’t judge,” Ellie played back. “What if I actually _did_ have them?”

“Then I’d definitely sleep with you,” Kat joked with a hearty laugh, a blush forming at Ellie’s cheeks, but she was unable to suppress her own laughter.

Ellie only threw a similar joke back. “I’ll be sure to tell my guy that when he’s polishing them.”

“He’s doing some great work.”

“Isn’t he?” She chuckled, relief really sweeping her then. She forgot about the anxiety almost immediately when hearing Kat’s voice, let alone continuing to reiterate their little inside joke. When she came down from her little laughs, Ellie sighed deeply. “I don’t know, I just needed to hear somebody’s voice. I was losing my mind over here.”

“Oh, well, do you want me to come meet you somewhere?” Kat asked, eager to help the nervous girl on the other end.

“No, no,” Ellie insisted. “That’s okay. I’ve got a class in twenty, anyway.”

“Aw, what a bummer,” Kat huffed. “I was just leaving my class now.”

“We’ve still got that date to look forward to, remember?” Ellie reminded her, trying to make the best of the mistake she’d made by calling her up that night when her jealousy reared its ugly head when she found out about Jesse. Maybe the date wouldn’t go so bad, after all, and never would she have the gall to blow her off. She was too soft for that, anyway.

“How could I forget? Looking forward to spending some quality time with you, Miss Abs of Steel.”

“I’m sure you are,” Ellie rolled her eyes, and Kat must’ve sensed it through the phone based off the giggle that followed. Finally feeling better, she sighed and leaned back. “Hey, let me go. I gotta run to the other fucking side of campus for chemistry.”

“Ah, gotcha. Okay.”

“Hey, but… thanks… a lot for talking to me,” Ellie’s words were overwhelmingly sincere, filled with relief and relaxation that she definitely did not previously have when dialing the girl’s number.

“Oh, no, of course, Ellie,” She reassured immediately. “Like, seriously, don’t worry about it. I like getting calls from you.”

With an amused blow of air through her nose, her heart swelled for a moment. “Sap.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Oh, hey,” Ellie suddenly remembered, the idea of the fight coming back, this time much less impactful. “By the way. My friends and I were getting together before the fight on Friday to catch some dinner or something before the match. They really want you to come, so you definitely should. Just saying.”

“I definitely will,” Kat reassured, her smile evident in her voice through the phone. “Just tell me the time and place, cutie, and I’ll be there.”

Another pang to the chest and a swelling she felt in her heart that tickled with butterflies. “Okay, will do.”

“See you later, steel abs.”

“See ya,” She hung up the phone with a sigh, a smile stitched stupidly across her lips. God did Kat always have this effect on her. But a little sense of dread and impending anxiety set in on her when she realized that both Kat and Dina in the same place, both knowing of the other and not exactly being the fondest of each other, given the circumstances, would be a force to be reckoned with when they finally did meet.

Plus, the feeling she got from one quick phone call with a girl she’d asked on one date didn’t even compare to the way Ellie felt about Dina.

_No, stop that._ Her mind chastised her. _Give this a chance. Kat is actually interested in you. This is probably better for you, anyway. Why bother worrying about it?_

Another deep breath passed from her lips as she stayed leaning back against the bench. Choosing to put it aside for the time being, she wistfully got to her feet and started off for her next class, the butterflies still going off in her stomach, and the feeling of dread still circling in her blood with each step she took closer to the future.

***

“Holy shit, Ellie, and I thought _I_ was bad at math.”

Sighing and leaning back against the wall, she took the pillow in her lap and brought it up to her face in frustration while Dina yanked the book out of her hands and examined it with a laugh that only seemed to shame the girl next to her.

It was about nine-thirty at night at that point. Most days started and ended the same – Ellie would wake up to Dina in the bed across the room, spend some time with her some mornings, or admire how cute she looked when she slept, or got a good morning text from her if she had left before or after Ellie did. Sometimes, they’d even spend time together during the day, hanging out on campus with their friends or just them, or just lounging in their dorm on a down day where neither of them were really doing anything.

But tonight, they decided to spend the extra time together as they had planned to put it something more productive than being lazy or just talking around the dorm – they had that math test coming up, and Ellie was desperately behind. Their original date idea they postponed until some point after her fight – petty details they’d discuss later among their hundreds of conversations – and replaced it with a cozy study session up in their dorm that, apparently, they both despairingly needed.

“Listen, we’re studying together because we _both_ suck, okay?” Ellie grumbled into the pillow, removing it from her face at the end of her sentence, the muffled words ringing in full effect at the end.

“Yeah, no, but you _suck.”_

Another sigh of annoyance – amused irritation – passed her lips. God, if she could wipe that smug smirk off her face.

Those eyes were too busy roaming the words plastered across the page, littered with all kinds of examples of convoluted graphs and charts that Ellie just couldn’t find a lick of interest in, let alone find the intelligence in her creative, inquisitive mind to work out the logistics of the numbers and phrases on the page.

“Forgive me,” Ellie shot back. “But math isn’t my strongpoint.”

Dina shot her a look with a raised eyebrow, challenging and disbelieving. “Isn’t music basically just all math?”

_Ah, fuck, she got me there._ Ellie stumbled for a response in retaliation. “Yeah, but it’s different, okay?”

A laugh of amusement and disbelief passed Dina’s lips as she cut it off with her words almost immediately. “How the fuck is it different?”

“It just is!”

“Yeah, okay,” Dina exaggerated her words with a raise of her eyebrows and a smug, cynical look. “Whatever you say, Freckles.”

A comfortable silence fell over them when Ellie leaned forward a moment later to glance at the book and read it with Dina doing the same, holding the book tight in her lap. She felt those dark eyes throw her a lingering glance when she moved closer, and Ellie almost felt her heart starting to race, annoyingly, and her mind chastised her for thinking anything of the situation. But even with the ring of nervousness in her ears, the jittery feeling in her nerves, she’d come to realize that being confident and matching Dina’s attitude was the only way to win over her. She had to think like Dina did. So, she’d definitely implemented that idea into most of their conversations, and luckily, it helped Ellie’s anxiety around her soften.

They were thigh-to-thigh, shoulder-to-shoulder, backs pressed up against the wall as they sat on Dina’s bed, much like they always did. It was their favorite little position. Ellie couldn’t have asked to be in any more of a comforting spot than at Dina’s side.

“Okay…” Dina interrupted the silence with a mutter of thought. “How about… we try this problem?” Taking the pencil she held between fragile fingers, she pointed the eraser-end to the problem labeled ‘Problem 4’ at the bottom section of the page. “Doesn’t look too complicated, right?”

Squinting her eyes and leaning in just slightly to see the problem a little better – considering the only real lighting was from the laptop screen that was open, facing them, on the night table, accompanied by the lights from the dorm rooms and the moon and stars outside the window – and twirled her pencil in her fingers to get it to face the correct side on her notebook.

“Nah, doesn’t look too bad,” Ellie agreed, about to copy down the problem.

Dina’s eager, teasing voice challenged her then with a fiery grin. “Bet I could get done before you.”

Ellie’s eyebrow spiked up, and she threw the smaller girl a disbelieving smirk. “In your dreams.”

“Look at the way you handled the other problem,” Dina pointed out with a scoff of amusement. “You could barely tell me the formula, let alone solve it.”

“Okay, Dina, _whatever you say,”_ Ellie mocked her words from earlier, voice exaggerated and sneering. She turned back to her notebook with the quickest side-glance in existence, seeing the jaw of the girl beside her dropped and her lips twitching upward as she stared dead at Ellie. A playfully offended huff of air left her lungs.

“Okay, fine, I see how it is,” she grabbed the eraser-end of Ellie’s pencil as she was scribbling away, stopping her from writing and moving her face down to meet hers. She tried fighting the smile but hastily failed, also struggling to avoid eye contact as the snicker threatened to leave her mouth. “Let’s make it a bet. The winner who gets this problem done first and _right_ gets something.”

Ellie trilled her lips before looking back at her, challengingly. “You’re on, asshole.”

“Kay, so, what am I getting when I win?” Dina asked smugly, the smirk so taunting and tantalizing that Ellie felt herself coming undone.

A scarred eyebrow reached a freckled forehead once again. “Funny, but I’d like to know what _I’m_ getting when _I_ win, because _I’m_ so winning.”

“How cute,” Dina scoffed, talking as if there were someone else in the room to completely mock her further. “She actually thinks she’s gonna win, isn’t that funny?”

“Laugh it up now,” Ellie challenged dismissively, not about to show Dina the way her mocking and antagonizing words were hurting her pride, even if just a little bit. “But you won’t be laughing when I claim the reward.”

“What’s my reward gonna be, anyway?” Dina scrunched her face to accompany her smirk, awaiting patiently for an answer from the girl in front of her.

A surge of confidence finally hit her, then. She saw an open opportunity to drop some kind of flirtatious remark here, much like Dina would. _Think like Dina. Think like Dina._

“Well, I think when _I_ win…” Ellie’s smirk was unparalleled – so devious that even Dina seemed surprised by it, but she couldn’t read it on her face, only in her eyes. “I think you’ll just have to kiss me.”

The way that Dina just seemed so unfazed outwardly almost infuriated Ellie. Her heart raced in her chest from the flirtatious challenge she’d thrown at her, and here Dina was, just completely undaunted by her advances.

“Sure, just give me a reason,” She shot back so very smoothly, sending a shock down Ellie’s spine about the promiscuous implications.

All of her confidence crumbled as the blood rushed humiliatingly to her face. She did her best to play it off and hope the darker lighting would keep Dina from seeing the shame written across her face. _God, why is she so good at this? Why am I so fucking bad at it? That’s the better question._

Ellie just chuckled it off nervously. “Okay, I was kidding… hm….” She hummed inquisitively, taking a look around the room for some kind of inspiration for a bet idea.

“I was down for the kiss idea, but alright, Williams,” Dina shrugged nonchalantly, just a twinge of disappointment stained in those otherwise confident, smug words.

“Keep it in your pants, will you?” Ellie retorted playfully, trying to desperately play off her shyness that resurfaced at the current situation. “How about this, winner has to buy the other person’s dinner tomorrow.”

Rolling her eyes and grinning, Dina finally conceded, hesitantly but following suit. “Fine.”

Ellie started eagerly copying the rest of the problem, struggling to understand what any of it meant. Really, Ellie was just terrible at math. She was much more skilled in writing and English. She was pretty good in science, but astronomy would always be the one place where her science and math skills thrived. That, and music. But textbook mathematics was just short of torture for her – she couldn’t stand to do any of it.

Her mind slipped away from her as she tried to do the problem to the best of her ability, but failing nonetheless, shooting the girl beside her a shocked look when she heard her call: “Done!”

“What?” Ellie’s head whipped around, wide-eyed as she immediately looked at the paper in disbelief. “There’s no way.”

Ripping the notebook out of Dina’s hands and bringing her face close and squinting, she was filled with dread as she realized everything made sense. Everything looked familiar to the exact way they’d learned it in class. Looking down at the textbook, she flipped to the page toward the back with the answers to each problem and found everything was just as pitch perfect on Dina’s paper as the textbook.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” Ellie sighed with defeat and frustration, leaning back and letting her head hit the wall behind her.

Dina’s cackle echoed throughout the room. “Fuck, yeah!” She leaned back to match Ellie’s position against the wall, head turned toward her with the most self-satisfied face. “Looks like you’re buying me food, Freckles.”

Ellie rolled her eyes and turned her head against the wall to meet that infuriating smirk. “Looks like I might as well throw my whole wallet away, too, because I already know you’re gonna make me broke ordering the most expensive things on the menu.”

“Aw, how’d you know?” Dina teased, prompting a sigh of frustration from the girl next to her. That caused Dina to playfully change her answer. “Alright, fine, maybe I’ll go easy on you. Only because you’re so cute.”

She did her best not to let the compliments and the teasing get to her head. Dina’s boldness always had its immediate effect on her – she was determined to trump the blood that threatened to shyly rush to her face at her words. She wanted to be tougher than that. _Think like Dina._

“No, no,” Ellie insisted, innocently putting her hands up. “Order whatever you want. You’re lucky you’re so hot or else I can’t say I wouldn’t mind so much.”

Dina’s eyes widened, impressed, eyebrows jumping up and staying up on her forehead. “Are you flirting with me, Williams?” Those dark eyes moved dangerously from Ellie’s eyes to her lips and back up.

“You wish,” Ellie shut her down quickly, smiling as she pushed herself off the wall and back into a straight-sitting position. She took the book from Dina’s lap and placed it in her own.

“You bet I do.”

Swallowing the nervousness and the shyness that was always just so inevitable when Dina was around her, Ellie rolled her eyes to brush off her remark. “Come on, we don’t have much time left. Let’s do some more problems.”

Groaning with frustration, Dina forced her shoulders back against the wall to push herself off it, leaning forward and taking her face into her hand, elbow resting in her crossed legs. She took the pencil she’d used previously between her fingers and she sighed deeply as Ellie turned into another page in her book. Her eyes scoured the pages so hard for a problem, she hardly noticed when a pressure fell against her shoulder, and her entire body stopped dead when she felt Dina’s breath blow the edges of her sleeve.

Ellie wanted to freeze, wanted to stop and point out how Dina had decided to rest her head comfortably on her shoulder, eyes still wandering each page alongside Ellie’s as the taller girl continued to skim through the words and problems. She wanted to freeze but only a smile slowly creeped up on those plump lips. Slowly, it grew, as the realizations began hitting her all at once.

Every bit of her wanted to feel Dina against her, cuddled up to her, on her, next to her, everywhere. And in that moment, all of those wants became reality – something she couldn’t shake. Dina’s head was lying so closely into the crook of her neck, pressed up right on her strong shoulder, a place she’d wanted Dina’s head to lie so many times in the past. More than anything, she wanted that return of genuine affection. It was almost as if she craved Dina’s attention. It was times like these that Ellie really felt her heart settle in her chest, the excitement building up into a series of fast and hard beats against her chest.

There was no describing the things that Dina did to Ellie’s mind and body in every way possible. She swept her off her feet, winded her, and completely took her away. All of Ellie’s walls crumbled in that moment, something that never happened, not with anyone. Every square inch of Ellie’s soul was consumed by the sweet feeling of Dina’s head on her, and the little grin on the smaller girl’s lips as she nuzzled into the strong bone.

She’d tried so hard to keep her composure throughout all the flirting, all the teasing, and she’d succeeded. But it was in that small, miniscule, tender little moment that her complex completely came down. And it was in that moment that she realized that nothing in the world that would ever make her heart race, thoughts swirl, or palms sweat like Dina did.

“Oh, this looks like a good one,” Dina’s fragile finger placed against ink on the page, pointing to a problem much easier than the last one. “Wanna give it a try?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ellie tried to control the shakiness in her voice from the racing thoughts in her mind. The tint on her cheeks wasn’t obvious enough in the darkness, and Dina’s head was still tucked by her neck anyway. “We’re not racing this time again, are we?” Ellie glanced down at the girl, a smile still plastered on her face as she picked her notebook and pencil up off the comforter to place it above the textbook to write on.

Dina chuckled softly, the breath tickling against her arm and igniting goosebumps along her skin. Her breath touching her so softly and the fresh smell of her beautiful, curly, dark hair – it smelled of lavender and coconut, which she’d learned over weeks of being in a room living with her was the smell of her wonderful conditioners, although she had never smelled it this up close – made her toes curl in her socks and made her heart thud. _God, this effect._

“No, doofus,” Her voice was thick like honey with comfort and tranquility. The chuckle of amusement still lingered in the air, painted against her freckled skin. “We don’t have to race this time.”

Dina never moved from Ellie’s shoulder. Minutes went by and then a half hour, and then forty-five minutes as they did one problem after the other, learning to help each other out and share answers instead of competing like earlier. Truthfully, Ellie didn’t mind either way – she was far too preoccupied focusing on how she hoped Dina didn’t move her head off of her shoulder to care whether or not they were competing, or even doing the problems right, for that matter.

It was unimaginably soothing to be in that room with Dina, and for a while, it felt like time seemed to stop in its tracks around them. Ellie had already far established that she didn’t want to move from there, and that if the universe cared anything about her, it would glue Dina to her for the rest of her life.

By the time eleven rolled around, both of their energies had visibly started to fade. They stopped talking as much, they started drooping, and Dina’s head became heavier on her shoulder. At some point beforehand, she’d turned her whole body to lean up against Ellie, probably – from what Ellie guessed – from the drowsiness starting to sink in with her.

“You getting sleepy up there?” Dina’s low voice interrupted the silence that followed right after they finished their problem. Her head turned upward just slightly to get a better look at Ellie’s face from the underside of her jaw.

“A little bit,” Ellie admitted with a sigh, glancing down at her with a smile overtaking her lips. “Wanna call it for the night?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Finally, much to Ellie’s disappointment, Dina slowly lifted her head from her shoulder, a hand coming up to help stretch her neck. Ellie started to get up, both of their notebooks and pencils in her hands, and stretched her back and shoulders as she slowly made her way over to the night table, shutting the lid of the laptop and placing the notebooks down next to it. She moved over to the window to close up the curtain, and before she could slip into her own bed and get comfortable in the sheets, a voice of protest stopped her.

“Wait.”

When Ellie turned back, eyes heavy in her skull, she was met with Dina, who had propped herself up on an elbow laying down on her bed, eyes wide and almost pleading. Ellie only watched her with confusion, a tilt of her head to accentuate it.

“Come back here.”

All the blood in Ellie’s veins turned to ice. _Come there?_ The warmth only shot to her cheeks. _She wants me to get in her bed with her?_ Ellie thought she was dreaming.

“Like… in bed?” The shaky question passed her anxious lips. She felt like she sounded so stupid and childish asking, but God, Ellie had to know. _Better I find out for sure than avoid any fucking embarrassment, right?_

The quiet question only sparked a chuckle out of Dina. “No, on the fucking floor,” She teased, the sarcasm venomous in her voice.

Ellie didn’t know whether or not she was relieved or even more petrified. All she knew was that when Dina patted the bed beside her, Ellie was like a magnet that hastily made it over to the other side of the room. She was so very careful about giving Dina her space, and laid down the same way Dina was, facing her, but nearly crashing over the side of the bed from being so close to the edge.

Dina quickly took note of the way she was spaced as far away from her as possible, and she made it known. “Move closer, dipshit, you’re gonna fall.”

Hesitantly, Ellie nervously laughed before scooching forward only a little, as much as she could to be farther away and respecting Dina’s space without being millimeters away from toppling over the side. That only seemed to aggravate Dina more, as an arm shot out, a fragile hand finding purchase on the side of Ellie’s back, and tugging her forward until they were mere inches from each other. Ellie was certain she felt her heart stop as she did it.

“See? That’s better,” Dina rolled her eyes, the smile still fresh on her face.

Ellie felt her heartbeat only increase when Dina’s head nuzzled into the pillow just a breath away from her. Ellie’s hand was tucked under her head to support it, the other brought up into her chest, keeping her hands far away from Dina. Dina’s hands fell into a similar position, her eyes closed, and a grin still stitched up on her lips at the situation she found herself in.

The silence was so deafening, yet so peaceful. Being that close to Dina – she could see every freckle and pore, every birth mark, the gentle hairs brushed into the shape of her eyebrows, the slight twitching of her nose when she breathed, perfect lips, thick eyelashes, and a smell that could intoxicate her just to exposure – it was so thrilling, so right-feeling.

Lying in a bed, face to face with Dina, this beautiful girl; that’s where she wanted to be every night.

“Tomorrow’s the big day, huh?” Again, Dina interrupted the silence, her voice just above a whisper, low and dark in the late-night hour. When Ellie didn’t respond for a moment, too lost in her own thought and panic to respond, those dark, gorgeous eyes cracked open, shining in the slivers of moonlight that cracked through the edges of the curtain and through the fabric.

With a deep sigh and a shaky breath, Ellie nodded. “Yeah…”

“How are you feeling?” That voice was so laced with concern and compassion – it made Ellie’s heart ache behind her chest.

Another long breath. “Nervous… freaking out just a little.”

A small chuckle escaped Dina’s lips. “What for, doofus?”

“What for?” Ellie repeated, raising her brows dumbfoundedly. “What if I get my ass kicked out there?”

“Okay, well, first of all,” Dina cut her off in disagreement. “You looked amazing out there when you fought your teammate.”

“Yeah, but Tomas isn’t the best boxer,” Ellie stressed, scratching the underside of her jaw and toying with her ear in anxiety. “Like, he’s good and all, but Coach Frank is putting me up there with some good fucking fighters. What if they pound my ass into the ground in the first round?”

“I really doubt that’s gonna happen.”

She felt her heartrate picking up just a tiny bit. “I’m just really scared that when I get out into that ring, I’m gonna freeze,” Ellie confided deeply in her roommate, something she’d been keeping at the back of her mind – this fear of hers – something that she hadn’t even let herself accept yet. But with Dina, it was just out in the air in that moment, like nothing. It was like the words had no problem slipping off her tongue into the sweet, warm air between them. Yet, why was it that up until that moment, until she was face to face with Dina, lying in the girl’s bed, could she not even admit it to herself?

Dina was silent for a moment – both girls were – almost as if she didn’t even know what to say. It even seemed like she was as shocked as Ellie at the raw, emotional fear she’d just revealed between them. Ellie felt her heart spike. _Was that too personal? Fuck, why isn’t she talking?_

Just as Ellie went to break the silence, Dina sighed curtly before bringing a hand that was tucked up by her chest and gently placing it against the side of Ellie’s face.

“Hey. Relax.”

She wasn’t sure if it was relief or shock that crashed down on her first. Every bit of her composure started to come undone – collapse at the foundation like a great statue of rock and metal. Suddenly, everything came down along with it, and for the first time since they met, the girl’s eyes told her that Dina was finally able to read Ellie like an open book. All those days, weeks, and almost months of Dina trying to break down those walls all built up to this moment between them; lying down next to each other, Dina’s hand on her cheek, and Ellie confiding her fears into Dina. The thrill in the Dina’s eyes as she realized she’d finally done what she’d attempted for so long, the thrill of coming through this reserved girl’s walls, rendered Ellie winded, and her throat tightened at the intimacy that was so harsh and so soft between them.

Thankfully, Dina was the one who carefully interrupted the silence. “You’re gonna do amazing, okay? I _watched you,_ El. You’re fucking crazy out there,” She reassured, and so much warmth boiled up in Ellie’s face, and she felt the swelling in her chest – that same good kind of embarrassment she felt every time someone would mention her accomplishments. “You were so good on your feet. I may not have seen a lot of it, but I saw enough to know that you’re incredible.”

So many emotions welled up in her chest and stomach, it felt hard to even breathe. But before Ellie could say anything, Dina continued.

“We’re gonna go get a nice dinner tomorrow, you, me, and all those goofballs we associate with, and then you’re gonna step into that ring, and you’re gonna kick fucking ass,” Dina said it with so much confidence and care gushing in her voice that Ellie almost found herself believing it, too. _God, why is she so good at this? Why is she so fucking good at everything?_

The way that Dina spoke was so full of the deepest compassion, so full of pure regard for Ellie, and it completely knocked her breath out of her lungs. Those dark eyes that shone and reflected off the slivers of moonlight that peered through the curtain were full of nothing short of openness, kindness, and adoration for the girl in front of her. Ellie could only guess her own eyes reciprocated those same tangible emotions, as the shorter girl’s lips twitched up into the most genuine and soft of smiles, further affirming her words of encouragement and reassurance as nothing but sincere.

_I want to kiss her right now._

“I believe in you, El.”

_God, I want to kiss her so fucking bad right now._

Her heart raced from the intimacy they shared, and from the deepest bond she felt strengthening with this girl she adored so much. Every single fiber in her mind was pushing her to lean in, to take those beautiful lips against hers and hold that perfect face in her hands. Every thought she had only spiraled farther downward into just how far their intimacy could go in that moment, if only Ellie had the strength to swallow her anxiety and kiss Dina breathlessly. She had to fight back every instinct she had to push their faces together. It was almost _painful_ to hold back.

“Alright, well…” Ellie’s breath was shaky, but she stabilized it with a gulp she prayed Dina didn’t hear. She tried to find some kind of way to downplay the rush of emotion and temptation that crashed down on her. “If I lose, I get to kick your ass outside of the ring.”

The joke didn’t miss a beat. The serious tone was quickly lightened when a small giggle passed Dina’s lips at the sudden words of merriment.

“Oh, please, I’d just let you win,” Dina insisted with a roll of her eyes and a playful tap of her hand to her cheek before she brought her hand back from her face to at her chest again. “Pity points go a long way.”

“Tough talk from someone who has probably never even been close to a fight before,” Ellie teased, the smile only growing on her face as the heart that had been previously beating frantically in her chest slowly came down to a normal rhythm.

Scoffing, she continued to go along with Ellie’s humorous interlude. “You don’t know that.”

“Oh, really? How many fights have you been in?” She challenged the smaller girl who only seemed to grin, caught red-handed without a quick and easy answer.

“Does kindergarten count?”

Ellie bit back a laugh. “Yeah, y’know what? I’ll give it to you,” Dina smiled in triumph before Ellie asked a follow-up question. “Did you win, at least?”

“Oh, definitely not,” Ellie could only laugh in response at Dina’s nonchalant admittance to defeat. A small chuckle passed her lips, too, and she raced to explain herself. “Okay, but to be fair, this bitch was a monster. She was like a whole foot taller than me. She had these really long ass braids and she just thought she was _so cool_ when she got more stars than me on the board, or when she was stealing my toys from my cubby.”

An amused response followed from Ellie. “So, you tried to show her who’s boss?”

“Tried? Psh!” Dina protested, brushing off Ellie’s teasing comment. “She was crying like a baby when I pushed her. I totally won that, at first.”

“Then what?” An eyebrow cocked on Ellie’s forehead as she watched Dina’s face with utter amusement as she continued her story.

“Then she got back up.”

Another laugh escaped from the taller girl. _She’s so cute._ Dina followed suit in laughter and the both of them comfortably eased into silence at the same time. Ellie’s yawn is what broke that silence, prompting a grin out of Dina.

“Tired over there?”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Ellie sighed lightly in response, the exhaustion really overtaking her in that comfortable moment in this wonderful position she found herself in.

Dina shook her head with amusement. “Sleep, then, loser.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ellie groaned as she sat herself up on the bed, not wanting to invade Dina’s personal space any more than she’d already had, and was about to make her way over to her own bed on the other side of the room, when a strong, yet fragile hand gripped around her wrist tightly.

“Who the fuck said you could get up?” Dina demanded, sending a shock through a surprised Ellie.

All the words left her, then, and she fumbled for words. “Oh, no, I, uh… I-I just didn’t know if you… you know, _wanted_ me to stay… so, I just…” She trailed off in awkward defeat when Dina tugged on her wrist and pulled her back, Ellie letting herself fall back against the comforter, head finding the soft pillow and resuming the same position she’d previously been in.

This time, Dina let herself snuggle forward, burying her head against Ellie’s chest, which only made the thumping in her chest ring louder. She prayed to every being above that Dina couldn’t hear it. Much like the shoulder resting, though, she was surprised yet so very thrilled by having Dina cuddling her head into her chest. Ellie struggled to decide whether or not she should put her hands on the girl or keep them awkwardly at her sides. Dina’s hands were tucked in between their chests, resting by the tired girl’s head as she found comfort against Ellie’s chest.

She decided to take the plunge and place one hand on a thin waist. Dina’s skin was so warm through the fabric of her clothes. Ellie feared her cold hand would disturb the warmth Dina felt, but Ellie’s hand on her only made Dina nuzzle further into her shirt.

Eventually, after minutes of processing the situation, her nerves calmed, and she let the tranquility of the position she was in overtake her. Her heart stopped its rushed beating, her pores cleared of the sweat that had budded on them, and her twitching, nervous foot had stopped bouncing. Everything about laying in Dina’s bed, the girl cuddled up into her, was so incredibly soothing. Ellie never wanted to move from that spot. Just minutes beforehand, she’d thought the fact that Dina was leaning up on her shoulder had been such a tremendous deal – she never wanted Dina to move. She was almost grateful that she did, or she never would’ve been able to get even closer to her like they were in that moment.

Just as the lovely tide of sleep was rolling over her, she heard the slightest whisper of amusement buzz from her chest.

“Finally, I thought your heart would never shut up. Goodnight, El.”

***

It was the middle of the very early hours of the morning when Ellie’s eyes cracked open. She was still met with darkness – it was far too early to be anywhere close to the time she had to be up. Though she had some pretty early errands to run beforehand at the boxing gym and the library, she knew she still had plenty of time.

She was about to sit up restlessly when she felt the slight stir of a pressure against her chest, and when she looked down, she was stunned to see Dina still curled up next to her, forehead still pressed gently against her chest. All the memories from the night before came flooding back to her, and her heart warmed again remembering all the sweet words and the jokes from the girl pressed against her.

Ellie didn’t want to move – she wished she could be permanently glued to this position with Dina forever. She was afraid that if she got up, she’d never get the opportunity to be like this with her ever again. But Ellie knew in her better judgment that she had to be up early, anyway, and it wasn’t worth disturbing Dina later on when she had to get up.

As carefully as she possibly could, she moved her hand off of a slender waist, and slowly backed away from the sleeping girl, inching toward the edge of the bed little by little, until one leg was over the side and a foot was planted in the cold dorm floor. Using the easiest amount of strength that she could, she got to her feet on the ground, watching Dina shift uncomfortably at the sudden change of environment in her sleep. She was thankful, though, that she didn’t wake up.

Making her way over to her bed drowsily, she was disappointed at how lonely it felt to be in her own bed after getting up from Dina’s. Every part of her wanted to go back, wanted to lean back into Dina’s touch and submerge herself in the wonderful, elated feeling she got being so intimately close to the girl. But, again, her better judgment knew not to, and with that, she slipped under the covers and curled up into a ball underneath them, wishing she were on the other side of the room in the arms of the girl she found nothing but adoration for.

Sleep came crashing back down on her – she hadn’t once thought about the fight since her conversation with Dina. Dina had made her heart race in an entirely different way than thinking about the fight did. Dina changed her entire mood, her entire outlook on the situation. And, God, what she wouldn’t have given to have been able to curl up with her again and forget everything else she had on her mind. Dina was the only thing she pictured, even as she fell back asleep again.

***

The local restaurant they picked to meet up at was just outside the campus grounds, right on the edge of the entrance to the city around their home away from home. Ellie wasn’t all that familiar with it, she only remembered passing it on her way to the tattoo parlor those nights she went to plan and get the first stages done on her arm. But Jayson and Charlie had sworn by it, so Ellie did nothing to protest.

Dina and her friends had been absent for most of the day, off finishing classes or schoolwork or hanging out with their friends beforehand, Ellie guessed. She’d only seen Devon that early morning who was running off to his only class of the day as she had made her way out of the gym at about eight to head down to the library to inquire about classes with one of the guides. She’d planned to go out with her friends in the afternoon, at about three-thirty or four.

Ellie had spent the hours beforehand at the gym, doing some warmups with her teammates who had their own fights scheduled for the night. She’d spent some time chatting with them, releasing some of her anxiety onto them by venting, and just did what she could to take her mind off her nerves. Once Ellie’s mind was distracted, she rarely paid any attention to things that were bothering her.

It was a blessing to have her teammates around. Some of them were going up against their first opponents ever that night, too, and relating to them about their anxieties was definitely helpful. But when three rolled around, she quickly changed into her casual attire for the get-together, left the rest of her stuff in the locker room – save for her wallet, phone, and keys – and hastily headed out to the little place they were meeting at.

But, before the dinner, in order to get her prepared, she planned to meet with–

“Hey, Kat.”

The girl was waiting right where she’d told her to, under one of the trees at the west park. The girl was wearing a pretty three-quarter sleeved shirt, jeggings, and thick black boots with spikes lining the edge. Her collarbones and neck were open to the air, and dangling earrings hung from her ears. She’d come prepared with a little bit of lip gloss and makeup, smiling brightly when Ellie came into view.

“Hey, how’s it hangin’, El?” She greeted kindly, going right in for a hug when Ellie was close enough.

“Pretty good,” She smiled sweetly in return to the girl. “Ready to head out?”

“Hell, yeah, I am,” Kat responded confidently. She seemed genuinely excited, and Ellie just had no idea how she did it. They started to walk off campus, down one of the few blocks in the direction of the restaurant when Ellie glanced over at her.

“You’re not… nervous, at all?” Ellie asked, unable to help herself from wondering where the confidence in the smaller girl came from, and where she could get some of it.

Kat shook her head and hummed. “Why would I be? You’ve never said a bad thing about them.”

“Well, no,” Ellie corrected herself. “They’re awesome. But still, you aren’t nervous about, like, meeting them for the first time or anything? Or talking to them?”

Kat couldn’t seem to understand why Ellie was perplexed. “No? Why?”

“I don’t know,” Ellie shrugged innocently. “Maybe I’m just a shy piece of shit, but I’d be freaking out if I were in your position.”

“Never figured you to be a people person.”

“You figured right.”

They weren’t very talkative the entire time – they made their usual, comfortable small talk. But Ellie’s mind was off in another world trying to process her nerves and the thought of being in the ring for the first time within the next few hours. Before Ellie knew it, they were coming up on the pretty little restaurant on the street corner, the striped awning above the outdoor dining area sticking out most vividly to Ellie.

When they arrived there, all her friends – Jayson, Addie, Charlie, and Devon – were all seated there already, three seats empty for the three missing people. It was Ellie, Kat, and–

“Hey, guys. Where’s Dina?” Ellie asked immediately as she came up to the table, noticing the smaller girl was nowhere to be found.

“Of course, that’s her first question,” Charlie teased, earning a nudge from Devon who had been sitting right beside him.

Addie smiled up at the taller girl. “Hey, Ells! Dina’s in the bathroom inside,” She stood suddenly, the bright smile never disappearing from her lips. “So, this must be Kat!” Quickly, Addie made her way around the table, going right in for a hug and Kat was quick to reciprocate. “Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

Kat was flattered, and there was no hiding it in her voice. “Aw, it’s nice to meet you, too!” She hugged back excitedly.

When Addie pulled back, she kept her hands on Kat’s shoulders. “I’m Addie… And these guys here are Jayson, Charlie, and Devon,” She signaled to each as she said each of their names.

“Hi, everyone,” She greeted collectively, as each of them made a gesture of greeting back at her. “It’s nice to finally see all of you. Ellie always talks so highly of you guys.”

“She fuckin’ better,” Charlie called, enticing a laugh out of himself and a chuckle out of Jayson, who Ellie saw was also rolling his eyes.

“Ignore him,” Addie insisted. “Come, come sit.” Leading her by the shoulders, she brought her around to the side of the table that she and Jayson were sitting on. “Ellie, Dina’s sitting right there next to Dev.”

The table was set up with three chairs on one side, Addie, Jayson, and now Kat on that side, and on the other, four chairs were placed. That side had Charlie, Dev, the ghost seat of Dina, and a seat for Ellie on the end of that row. Without any hesitation, Ellie sat down in the seat across from Kat, but directly beside Dina.

There was an interesting flicker in Kat’s demeanor when she sat down as Addie had pointed out to Ellie specifically where Dina would be sitting, and the way Ellie was so quick to jump into the seat next to her. But it seemed like the blonde was quick to brush it off, before comfortably taking the seat next to Addie and shooting Ellie a grin as her eyebrows bounced up onto her forehead.

Sitting down and taking a look at the menu, she remembered her deal with Dina last night during their lovely little study session she’d spent most of the day thinking about when she wasn’t worrying about the fight. In her mind, as she read through the few but definitely flavorful options, she started to play around in her head, trying to guess and see which thing Dina would order.

Ellie didn’t need to look much at the menu to already know what she wanted – she was a sucker for breakfast, so her obvious choice would be a big fat waffle with butter and syrup off the breakfast category on the menu. Everything else didn’t even seem appetizing. She needed comfort food to soothe her nerves and she knew a Belgian waffle would do just the trick.

“Hey, sorry guys,” Dina’s voice had Ellie’s head spinning over in her direction as she hurried back from inside the restaurant. “There was a bit of a line.” With a big smile as she saw Ellie in the seat next to hers, she quickly moved to place a hand against a strong upper arm as she greeted the girl, sitting beside her with radiating happiness in her aura. “Hey, you.”

“Hey,” Ellie greeted, almost shyly, but a grin was plastered on her lips.

Her eyes wanted to immediately dart to where Dina’s hand sat comfortably on her arm, but after a second, she let her hand fall on the table and Dina’s eyes averted to the menu in between them.

“Oh, shoot,” Eyes scanning over the plentiful list of things to eat, Dina couldn’t seem to decide. “What are you getting?” She asked Ellie bluntly, shooting her a glance with eyes full of adoration and care – something she’d noticed since their little moments from the night before. It made Ellie’s heart swell up in her chest, and had her fingertips tingling at the way she looked at her.

“Oh, uh,” Ellie stumbled, lost in her own thoughts about Dina’s affections. “Just a waffle.”

“Ah, right, I forgot,” Dina giggled amusedly. “You’d give a lung for any kind of breakfast food.”

“Damn right I would,” Ellie affirmed with a huff, watching Dina’s smile settle as she decided on a stack of pancakes for herself. _You know, it wasn’t until I met Dina that I really realized that I have such a deep appreciation for breakfast foods, but here we are._

“So,” Kat’s voice broke the once-comfortable silence that had overcome the two of them. Charlie and Devon had their own conversation, while Addie and Jayson seemed to be tuned in when Kat finally spoke. “You must be Dina.”

The smile on the girl’s face feigned a fire behind it that almost terrified Ellie. There was something so phony about the way the words happily rolled off her tongue, about her unchanging expression, even when Dina looked up to meet her gaze in the most challenging way. There was this unspoken tension between the two girls – one that had existed long before they even met for the first time. Ellie hadn’t been aware of it until now.

“You must be Kat,” Dina retaliated, a sickening venom behind such a kind and innocent response.

Ellie had learned to read Dina so easily as they lived together. Dina was like an open book to Ellie – long and emotional, but so very enjoyable. Every emotion that passed through her, it didn’t matter what facial expression she was making. Her eyes told it all. And in this situation that they found themselves in, Ellie read nothing but a predatory, possessive glare across dark eyes and it made Ellie’s heart race. _What the hell is with these two?_

“That’s me,” Kat’s words were laced with poison, matching against Dina’s. Their tones were so sweet and respectful – if Ellie hadn’t been able to read them and the tension that pulled painfully between their stares, she would’ve thought they were nothing but kind to one another. But, God, did Ellie know better when she watched the fragile hand of the girl next to her ball into a fist in her lap.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Ellie’s throat dried at how covertly arid those words were.

“Oh, yeah, you too,” Kat retaliated, resting her cheek against her knuckles, elbow propped up. “Ellie’s always talking about you.”

“Oh, really?” Dina’s grin was nothing short of triumphant.

“All good things, of course,” Kat assured with a grin. “She talks about you like you’re her best friend. You guys are close, huh?”

Dina’s jaw clenched and Ellie’s eyes immediately lasered in on the small indent in her skin. Dina still paid her no mind, though. She kept that fiery composure that she always had, unafraid and unwilling to back down from the challenge this girl was posing.

_Oh, God, this is getting bad, isn’t it?_

“Very,” She shot back with a smile. “She tells me basically everything. She’s mentioned you a few times.” There was such an antagonizing tone in her voice that even Ellie winced at her implications. Dina was going straight for the throat in this silent battle.

“Well, I hope they were all good things,” Kat dismissed with a kind smile, but there was a bitter expression hidden behind ocean eyes that Ellie immediately picked up on, and it had Ellie regretting every decision she’d ever made – especially ones regarding bringing Kat and Dina around in the same space.

She cursed herself when Dina’s snide response had even Addie’s eyes widening in realization from across the table. Their hostility – so subtle and quiet – was becoming palpable with every venomous word that passed their lips.

“Yeah, I would hope, too.”

“Hey, guys,” Addie interrupted as smoothly as she could, but it wasn’t exactly well-executed. “The waiter’s coming. Everybody knows what they want, right?”

Ellie shot the girl a look of gratitude and relief as her interruption ceased the awkward tension for a second as they all answered that they did. When the waiter did come over, a well-built guy with dirty blonde hair – seeming to be in his mid-20s – who was friendly and warm with all of them. But there was one person in particular that he was overly fond of – and of course, it was Dina.

When he came over, he took all their orders, talking to them warmly and kindly. But when he got to Dina, there was an eagerness in his voice and a way about his smile that had Ellie’s blood starting to boil. And when he started making conversation with her – asking if she was a student, where she lived, how old she was – Ellie’s face contorted visibly, her self-restraint being tested by this guy who happily walked away, list of their orders in hand.

“What the hell was that?” Jayson leaned over, looking past Addie to give Dina a confused, but entirely amused look, as the entire table’s attention had been focused on Dina and this waiter for the length of time that he shot her all kinds of flirty remarks and got personal with her.

Dina shrugged, completely unfazed by the flirtatious confrontation. Her eyes widened as she shrugged, further affirming her confusion. She didn’t even seem the least bit interested.

But that didn’t stop Ellie’s blood from boiling within her body. It didn’t stop the obvious look of discomfort written clearly across her face, and the way she spaced out in angry thought wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to hide, either. She didn’t even care if the whole table picked up on it, at that point.

“You okay there, Ellie?” Devon leaned over as he noticed the disgruntled expression pressed across the girl’s face.

When Ellie looked straight ahead, she saw the disapproving, suspicious face of Kat watching her, desperately trying to read her.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Her words were so fixed and dismissive, but she guessed her face told a different story when Kat looked away in disdain. In order to distract herself, Ellie took a giant swig of her water, clearly uncomfortable. Dina seemed to take an utmost interest in the taller girl’s reaction to the way the boy acted toward her. “Just hate when guys do that.” She clarified, hoping there was any way to save the situation.

Dina only scoffed with amusement. “It’s in their nature, El, the quicker you learn that, the better. I don’t even take it personally anymore. A guy will hit on any girl he wants to put his dick on with no hesitation.”

Her words only seemed to fuel the raging forest fire burning along her skin and deep in her nerves. “Yeah, I don’t doubt it,” She dismissed, her voice calm and collected, but internally, she was filled to the brim with jealousy.

Quickly, the conversation dissipated, and Addie and the others began making conversation with Kat like she’d always been a part of their group. It was heartwarming to see her friends so eager to welcome a new face – a new face that Ellie deeply cared about. Addie was already acting as if she were Kat’s best friend, while Dina just seemed to sit back and observe rather than insert herself, which was something Ellie found quite odd.

“You doin’ okay?” Ellie nudged the girl with her foot, lightly tapping her sneaker against Dina’s to gain her attention. Her eyes watched the focused face of the girl next to her.

Dina turned to meet her eyes brightly, but there was still such an uncertain emotion behind those eyes. “Oh, yeah, I’m good.”

Ellie then asked a dangerous question she didn’t know whether she should’ve swallowed or not. “So, what do you think of her?” The question was low and quiet, as Kat was already distracted laughing and talking to Addie and Jayson, but it was loud enough in Dina’s mind that it had her face shifting just slightly at the implications.

“She’s nice,” Dina replied simply, her tone so painfully passive-aggressive as she shrugged. “I see why you like her.” _You liar._

Chuckling nervously and scratching the underside of her jaw, Ellie just muttered awkwardly. “Yeah…” She wanted to give Dina more to process, more to work with. But the weight of the tension was really pressing on her chest, and the looks Kat was shooting in their direction every so often only made Ellie’s nerves spike all the more.

At that point, Ellie just tuned herself back into the conversation. Addie had asked Kat about her major – which Ellie knew, as she’d talked about how wonderful the art and design programs every time the spoke about school – and the conversation turned to everyone else.

Kat asked everyone their majors, and they all told her, but when she got to Dina, the attitude was fiery behind pursed lips and crossed arms when Kat asked her.

“So, Dina,” There was a shaken reluctance decorating her usually composed voice that caught Ellie’s attention right away. It almost seemed like she didn’t want to converse with the fiery girl across from her, but she felt obligated to with Ellie and the group circled around her. “What are you here for?”

“Oh, just dance,” She was so icy cold in her words that it contradicted the rushing flame behind her dark eyes when they flitted up to stare deep into the girl across from her, her body unmoving, but Kat’s shifting uncomfortably in contrasting response.

“Dance, huh?” Kat seemed intrigued, the bounce in her eyebrows sending Ellie into question about whether or not they moved out of curiosity or out of ridicule. “A dream of yours or something?”

Dina leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, eyes dangerous. “Oh, yeah. You know, city shows and stuff. UEC is pretty known for its arts programs and all.”

Kat hummed in agreement. “Well, it’s a little hard to get into that field, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” Dina shrugged with nothing close to full, bolstering confidence. “Guess it’s a good thing I grew up dancing. Oh, and it’s good that I was a national title holder in high school. Talent makes the game a lot easier.”

There was a sense of surprise written across Kat’s face at Dina’s unrelenting confidence and firmness in her tone, her manners, everything. Ellie found it exhilarating. “I bet it does. But national titles don’t always mean much. It matters more in your college training, I’m assuming.”

“You assume too much,” There was such venom behind her voice, but it came off so passive, still. It was so dry and sarcastic – Ellie had never heard Dina this disturbed. “Though, I’ve had plenty of training, regardless. But thanks for the tip, anyway.”

The rest of the table only watched as the epic showdown between the two girls completely overtook the group. All other topic of conversation was tossed aside. All of them were wide-eyed, throwing Ellie glances of intensity and shock, smirks creeping up on their face as the battle between them continued. Ellie could only stare back, equally as wide-eyed, completely helpless to the situation and unknowing of what to do – every answer they looked for in their wide-eyed exchanges, she bore none of them. She could only watch fruitlessly as the two girls went at it – a verbal war in which a winner was unpredictable until the end, if they ever got that far.

“Hey, I could be wrong,” Kat smugly threw her hands up, nothing but feigned innocence laced in her voice and mannerisms. “Just seems like a reach, is all. Not the path I would choose.”

“Well, why don’t you stick to your path and I’ll stick to mine, yeah?”

Ellie had never seen her so bothered. It was undeniable that Kat got under Dina’s skin – but never would Ellie have guessed that it would be _this_ bad.

“Jeez,” Kat’s face only read triumph, as Dina’s façade was breaking – her walls were starting to crack from the grip Kat was getting on her. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings there. I’m just pointing out that it may be a little hard to be a dancer for some big Broadway company. Gotta make money somehow.”

“Oh, right, and remind me. How much do artists in rundown tattoo shops make?”

“Alright–” Finally – a powerful voice of reason – the voice of Addie came between them, cutting them off immediately. The rising tension that was almost palpable at the table came down from its height. “–The food’s coming.”

Thankfully, by some grace of the universe, she was right. Two waiters came rushing over, plates lined up on their arms, full of their dishes of food and some appetizers Charlie and Jayson had ordered. That cut their fight short – both girls turned to see the food coming, Dina’s eyes glancing at Ellie and searching that disappointed, frustrated face for a moment before turning back. Kat didn’t even bother looking her way.

Ellie and Dina’s breakfast plates were given first by the waiter that had previously hit on Dina, Ellie giving him a stare no less than of death when he placed the plate on the table in front of the shorter girl. He was quick to notice, and his eyes widened almost instantly as he realized the meaning behind the scorching trail that burned into him from those green eyes. It was a quick surrender – marked by a scampering away that had a triumphant smile creeping up on Ellie’s lips.

When she turned, Dina was watching her intensely, and the bashfulness quickly restored in Ellie. The grin disappeared, those eyes that had turned deadly were back to their big, innocent normal – nervous and rapid around the smaller girl. She tried to convince herself that Dina hadn’t seen what happened in that second, and it had almost worked.

“What’s his deal?” Dina’s eyes flickered over in the direction of where the waiter went, and Ellie only shrugged quietly, lips curving downward innocently as she tried to play it off.

The rest of the time was much more peaceful – there was no more bickering between the two girls, and frankly, Ellie was almost agitated at the altercation between them. _I have so much other shit to worry about, that wasn’t exactly what I needed. Dina should’ve known that._ She sighed aloud into a bite of her waffle, prompting a side-glance from Dina in wonder, but Ellie didn’t meet her gaze. _God, what a mess. Never making this mistake again._

Dina seemed to pick up on Ellie’s frustration as the time passed. Ellie caught her throwing glances at her from the chair beside her, the amount of times increasing as she seemed to get more and more aware of Ellie’s silence and her lack of participation in the conversations going on between them all. She heard the chatter going on down the table, but her mind was preoccupied worrying about the upcoming fight, and the hostility in what was supposed to be a calm and collected atmosphere – made purposely to soothe her nerves, not inflame them.

Nonetheless, the bill came and the other waiter that had helped carry the plates placed it down in the center of the table, tucked away in a little black sleeve with the restaurant’s logo on it. Ellie pulled out her wallet, along with the rest of them, but when Ellie saw Dina reaching into her mini bag, she immediately nudged her, signaling for her not to as she pulled out more money than she needed to.

“No, El,” Dina protested. “You don’t have to, it’s okay–”

“Oh, shut up,” Ellie placed down the amount for both her and Dina’s food at the center alongside the bill. “I got it.” She insisted, giving her a stare that was accompanied by a smile, immediately shutting down any further attempt from Dina to stop her as she gave in with wide eyes and a pleading look across her face.

Ellie felt Kat’s eyes piercing her skin like daggers from the glare she was giving her.

Dina must’ve noticed, too, because there was one last instance of her trying. “No, seriously, I got it.” She almost seemed worried by the look Ellie was receiving from the girl across the table.

“Stop it,” Ellie tapped her hand away as she went in to reach for the money, bills in her hand. Dina froze, and quickly retracted it, her attempt at breaking their deal adorable and charming. But she seemed to be so intrigued – shocked but intrigued – at the way Ellie persisted. Big eyes watched her with wonder as Ellie’s eyes retaliated with an insistence.

Finally, Dina gave in. It felt like the first victory Ellie had ever had over her.

The frustrated scrape of the chair against the floor and the huff that sounded from the girl across the table as she stood sent dread through Ellie. She didn’t dare make direct eye contact with her. She looked over, keeping her eyes on the body that stood, not the face. When she did find it in herself to glance upward, Kat’s face was already turned away and she was moving away from the table to stand by the outer edge of the outdoor seating area.

When she threw a glance to the girl coming to a stand beside her, she saw a victorious grin twitching up on her lips as she watched an agitated Kat make her way away from the table. Ellie rolled her eyes, moving to go follow and check up on her. Behind her, she heard Addie beginning to scold Dina for her confrontational attitude with Kat.

“Can you keep yourself under control?” She heard Addie demand, carefully and quietly, but Ellie still heard.

“Me? Go yell at her. She started it,” Dina stoically protested, her voice stubborn, unfazed, and triumphant.

“You need to get a grip, that was totally unnecessary…”

The argument trailed off in the background as Ellie approached Kat, who was looking out to the busy street from behind the railing and under the awning. Putting a strong hand on her shoulder, she turned to meet Ellie’s apologetic smile.

“Hey, how you hangin’ in there?” Ellie asked, voice nervous at the uncomfortable look written across Kat’s face.

“I’m fine,” Kat responded, a bit too coldly for Ellie’s liking. “I’m gonna head off back to my dorm to get ready.”

A frown overtook Ellie’s features as she realized the girl had been implying that she’d be going alone. But she didn’t bother to press. She was sure that the interaction with Dina had been enough to drive a thorn deep into her side, and Ellie didn’t want to be the one to poke and prod at it. She let it be.

“Alright…” The atmosphere became a bit awkward, and as Kat started to take a step forward, indicating her departure, Ellie was quick to stop her with a question. “I’ll see you at the fight?”

The words were soft and careful, but when Kat turned back around, Ellie was met with gentle eyes as the girl realized Ellie’s emotional accommodation for her, and the care she held for her tucked behind Ellie’s forest green eyes. A small grin crossed her lips as she gave in, unable to hold this awkward note with Ellie when she was looking at her with such a plea of consideration.

“Yeah, sap. I’ll stop in beforehand.”

Relief swept the taller girl when Kat turned away with a smile, heading off down the sidewalk toward the school. Ellie watched her go, thankful she was able to gain some kind of control over the situation that exploded in Kat and Dina’s hands. She sighed and turned back to the table, where her friends were still wrapping up, getting to their feet, and gathering their belongings.

It was then that she felt her phone buzzing harshly in her pocket, a sense of dread filling her, almost like she already knew what it had to do with. When she pulled the phone from her jeans, the first thing she noticed was the time – only a few hours left until the moment she stepped into the ring. The top notification was a text message from Frank, with an image attached.

The image was a schedule – it was a list with the times of each fight and the fighters. She saw her teammates listed with their opponents. Her eyes slowly moved over each name, until she found hers at the bottom.

_Ellie Williams_ , it read. _Seven pm._ Her eyes closed in on the column with the name of her opponent, zeroing in on the name written there: _Abby Anderson._

***

She had gotten there early. She couldn’t risk losing a minute of pre-fight training.

Coach Frank’s warmups were brutal – not physically, though, mentally. Every kick, every blow, every hook, Frank’s voice was urgent and reassuring, promising that she would do great and she would “kick ass”, as he said. His voice was a constant in her brain, hammering in her progress as a fighter and her chances of winning being higher than she at all expected.

She wanted to believe him so bad, but the anxiety spoke for itself.

The entire time through the warmups and training, Frank tried to pound it through her skull that she would be just fine, and that she would end up victorious, and that she would blow the fight out of the water. But, as he continued to reassure her, her own mind played her worst enemy – as it usually did – and completely stormed over the positive flow of words, replacing it with harrowing words of worry and doubt.

After Frank’s training, she made it a point to call Joel and stress her nervousness for her first fight. Even hearing his voice, reassuring her, calling her strong and brave, even that wasn’t enough to ease her unrelenting nerves. She always made time to call Joel, especially for stressful situations, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough.

Even in the locker room, just under a half hour before she stepped out in the ring, she felt the crippling anxiety shaking her to her core. Her heart threatened to pound through her ribcage, through the muscle and skin of her chest, and out into the cool air. Her fingers twitched as her nerves continued to flare with every passing minute. She tried to remember to breathe, taking in a long breath of air, letting it sit and inhabit her lungs, before shakily blowing it out. Her eyes were glued to the navy-blue metal of the lockers as she tried to bring every waking sense in her body to focus on her breathing, and to retain her control.

It was only until Dina came in with a call of her name that she was ripped from her concentration, regaining her composure as she called back out.

“Over here!” She was a few rows of lockers in, and when Dina found her, she could tell the girl knew right away the kind of anxiety that was completely surging her as she kept her big, nervous eyes glued to her as she came into view.

“Hey,” Dina’s voice was almost urgent and excited, but there was nothing but compassion laced within as she quickly came forward, embracing Ellie with her small arms wrapped around Ellie’s neck.

The smell of the smaller girl flooded her senses, in through her nose and setting her nerves aflame. All of the worry and panic that coursed heavily through her bloodstream seemed to ease just at the smell of the familiar lavender and honey smell of the girl’s skin, and the soft feeling of long black curls tucked into a ponytail between Ellie’s fingers when she brought her hand up to hold the head that rested gently against the side of her face. Nothing but tranquility came from Dina’s presence, and Ellie was so grateful.

“How you holding up?” Dina asked, pulling back to get a better look at her face, her hands lingering on her shoulders as those dark eyes caringly scanned the taller girl’s face, looking for signs of fear, anxiety, excitement, or all three.

Ellie shrugged, the edge of her lip tugging downward as she did, only for a grin to reappear slowly at Dina’s lightening face. “I dunno. Good, I guess?” Dina didn’t seem impressed. Her face turned to a deadpan as her eyes burned into her, calling Ellie’s bluff completely.

“You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yeah, no, I’m a mess.”

Releasing a heavy sigh that turned quickly into laughter, Dina brought a hand up to her face and shook her head. After the chuckle passed – with Ellie watching with a smile to match, because God, was Dina’s laugh so refreshing – Dina rolled her eyes and pressed back into Ellie, back into the gentle hug that she’d welcomed her with. There was no hesitation when Ellie wrapped her arms back around Dina’s waist.

“Why are you a mess?” Dina asked amusedly, voice slightly muffled with her face buried into Ellie’s muscle shirt. It was among the most satisfying sounds Ellie had ever heard – Dina’s face sinking into the fabric of Ellie’s shirt, her warm breath soaking through and painting her skin in such a way that sent shivers through Ellie’s body.

Ellie just chuckled and buried her face in the dark hair resting against her. Dina didn’t even budge. It’s like this was normal. “Oh, no reason,” The sarcasm burned the air, igniting a chuckle out of the girl against her and a light bump of her knee against Ellie’s.

“Dickhead,” She cursed, and Ellie could feel the roll of her eyes. She’d seen it enough times to know.

Ellie never wanted to pull away. She knew that the moment she did, the anxiety would swarm back. She knew she’d go back to worrying, to panicking, to being scared of failing. But with Dina in her arms, she felt invincible. She felt like she could win any fight, regardless of who or what was standing in her way. It was all just so overwhelming.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re gonna be just fine?” Dina scolded, lifting her head just slightly so her voice projected more, not muffled by the fabric of Ellie’s clothes.

With a sly smile, Ellie could only respond with a tease. “Just because you say something doesn’t mean I’m gonna listen.”

“Yeah, well, you fuckin’ should,” Dina huffed, another knee to the leg, this one harder and making Ellie’s knees buck with a laugh. “I’m, like, your boss and stuff, after all.”

“My boss?” Ellie could only laugh, pulling her head back a little to look at her with the biggest smile.

“Yeah, your boss,” Dina affirmed, unable to fight the grin. But it was then that, before Ellie could process a thing, Dina’s head suddenly shot forward, and a warm pair of soft lips planted gently against Ellie’s freckled cheek. “I’m telling you not to be nervous. So, like, stop.” She said as she pulled back, a slight tint of red fading in on her own cheeks – the first Ellie had ever seen – and a big, toothy smile replaced the smirk across her confident lips, almost as if to cover for the move she just made.

Ellie felt like her brain was going to short-circuit at how soft Dina’s lips felt against her skin, and how she wished she had the courage to take her marked face into her strong hands and just tug her forward, kissing her breathlessly. Her mind was so frazzled and panicked, she had the gut to do just about anything. Except that. And she cursed herself for it.

But Ellie didn’t let it unravel her, not in front of Dina. She just smiled through the blush. “Okay, fine. You win.” She conceded playfully, the kiss marking her defeat as Dina fist-pumped the air.

“Hell yeah,” _God, she’s just so adorable._

A comfortable silence befell them both, both of them still holding each other close and basking in this intimate moment they shared, completely soaking into the softness of the air around them. Nothing felt tense – everything felt perfect. Ellie never wanted to move.

After a moment of this comfortable embrace, Dina pulled away with a shaky sigh, hands placed on her shoulders and arms extended out to get a good look at the fighter in front of her. “Well,” Her breath shook. “It’s almost time, and I should probably give you some time to prepare, yeah?”

_No,_ Ellie wanted to beg and whine. _Don’t go anywhere._ But she simply nodded and let the small “okay” roll from her lips. _You being here fixes everything._ She managed a small grin, and Dina pulled her in one last time for an even tighter hug. Ellie clung to her like a desperate child – Oh, how she didn’t want her to go. She held onto her for dear life, knowing it’d be the last touches before she stepped out in the ring. The last moments of comfort that would surpass them before Ellie faced her greatest anxiety since she arrived to UEC.

When Dina pulled back, a gentle hand found its way to Ellie’s face, covering the exact spot that still tingled from Dina’s kiss. Two dark pools stared deeply into Ellie’s, and as much as she wanted to look away – the urge to kiss her and hold her and spill out every waking feeling she had for her slowly growing with every second that she stared into dark, swirling, beautiful pools – she was magnetized to her. She was unable to look away.

“You’re gonna do great out there, okay?” The softness and gentle nature in Dina’s voice was like a cool river running over a rough burn, igniting her nerves with a heat that quickly turned to a cooled satisfaction. “You’re gonna kick ass. I know you are. I’ll be watching every minute. You’re gonna step out of that ring a champ.”

Her words were so unbelievably soothing – Ellie wished they could put out every fire that had ignited from her anxiety, but she knew that was impossible. This was all enough.

Finally, Dina’s hands lifted from Ellie’s shoulders, and she took a step back to get one last look at her. With the most compassionate smile, she blinked at the girl and turned to head toward the door, walking slowly and dramatically.

Just as she was approaching the locker room door, she turned around teasingly, not fully, still walking slowly toward the door. “I’m gonna be screaming the whole time. Maybe listen hard enough and you’ll hear me!”

The grin reappeared on Ellie’s face. _She’s so damn cute._ “Oh, I’m sure. I’m sure you’re _incredibly loud,”_ Ellie’s exaggeration of the words was accompanied by a widening of her eyes, her arms crossed as she called Dina’s bluff.

“Oh, don’t try me, Williams,” Dina challenged playfully. She reached the door, extending an arm and placing a hard hand against the wood. She turned back to the taller girl with the most promiscuous look on her face, the devilish smirk overtaking her lips. “I can be very loud when I want to be.” With a teasing wink, she pushed the door open and disappeared through it.

Normally, the comment would’ve flustered Ellie – sent her into a panic of feelings that would’ve swarmed her and taken her down. But it only left a smile on her face as she closed her eyes and shook her head with amusement. The comfort between the two that had grown so quickly was uncanny, but Ellie would be damned if she found herself complaining.

With Dina gone, her anxieties threatened to resurface, but the lingering presence of Dina and the smell of her shampoo and her body splash that Ellie had grown so accustomed to hovering in the air around her, it soothed her nerves immensely. There was nothing else in the world that calmed her like Dina did.

For the last few minutes that she had alone to herself in the locker room, she did her best to swallow the racing of her heart and the shaking of her hands as the thought of Dina’s kiss and the words she’d laid out for her replayed in her mind. She was finally starting to feel better.

And that’s when Kat walked in.

Turning to face the door, she was met with that other familiar face. Surprisingly, Ellie felt a sort of comfort in seeing her, too, before the fight. While Kat may not have had the same effect Dina did, she was definitely a source of repose for Ellie – someone who knew how to calm her down and assure her.

“Hey, dork,” Kat greeted sweetly, that fire from earlier at dinner finally, seemingly, extinguished. She strutted over to where Ellie stood, leaned up against the locker.

Crossing her arms awkwardly with a smile, Ellie breathed out a greeting in response. “Hey.”

“Hanging in there I see?” Kat’s eyebrow shot up; a small grin placed on her lips.

Ellie shrugged. “Trying to.”

Kat only gave a curt nod in response. Her face quickly shifted from that warm greeting to a disconcerted, thoughtful expression. Ellie was quick to pick up on it, and when Kat’s eyes met with her own, Ellie furrowed her brows in question, hoping to get an answer from the off girl.

“Can we talk about something?” She asked, her fingers interlocking at her waist anxiously as she made eye contact with Ellie.

A dreaded feeling swept her then. _Uh oh._ She never liked hearing that. Immediately, it triggered a nervous response. “Of course,” Thankfully, she was good at masking it.

“Nothing bad,” Kat quickly assured. “Just something on my mind.”

“Go for it.”

It took a minute and a sigh of reluctance from the shorter girl for her to start. “I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking recently…” She seemed to have trouble starting, but Ellie’s eyebrows stayed furrowed, eyes fixated on the girl in front of her as she listened attentively. “And I just…” She huffed, throwing her arms down, eyes finding their way back to Ellie’s. “I don’t know, El. I don’t even know _what_ to say. All I know is that I’m not crazy when I say that I know there’s something between us that I just can’t ignore.”

All the blood left her body. Everything went cold as Ellie realized what was happening yet could do nothing to stop it. She just had to sit and listen. _Fuck, why this? Why now?_

“You asked me on a date,” Kat continued reluctantly, eyes wandering. “You invited me out to meet your friends. We call all the time; we text all the time. I’m not naïve enough to not pick up on it. There’s something here.” She motioned between their two bodies. “And, I don’t know… Ever since I met you, I’ve just been drawn to you. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me. But I know there’s something.”

A gentle hand urgently reached over to grab a hold of Ellie’s, breaking her crossed arms and widening her eyes at the force. Ellie’s body turned ice cold when Kat placed Ellie’s hand against her stomach, and Ellie could feel the warm skin radiating through the fabric of her shirt. She was too stunned to remove her hand from the shorter girl’s body – just watched, wide-eyed and awed.

“I can’t help the _attraction_ I feel to you,” Kat confessed, so much emotion and need built up in her voice. “And I know maybe this wasn’t the right time, but I can’t keep it in anymore.” Her eyes burned into Ellie’s, nearly knocking the wind from the taller girl’s lungs. “Every second I wanna be close to you, around you, just _something._ I’m so drawn to you, and I don’t know why. But I can’t help it, and I know you must feel it, too, right?”

Her voice was so urgent that it almost startled Ellie. _Fuck, what am I even supposed to say to this? Dina was just in here…_

“Kat…” Ellie choked out, stuck in a breath. It was all she could manage.

With a rock of force, Kat turned and pushed Ellie hard up against the lockers. Ellie was ashamed to admit, despite the astonishment, that the action sent a violent shock down her spine and between her legs to have this girl – this girl she found herself attracted to – shoving her up against the locker with a dazing look in her eyes.

“I’m not crazy,” Kat’s voice was barely above a whisper as she urged her words, her face just inches from Ellie’s, looking up into her eyes with a pleading stare. “You feel it, too?”

Ellie couldn’t even bring herself to form a coherent sentence. Truthfully, she did feel it. She knew she was attracted to this girl in a way. She knew that all of the time she’d spent with her wasn’t just her seeking her friendship. She had _wanted_ to test the waters with Kat, she had _wanted_ to see where it would lead. She really had – and while she could admit the attraction between them was real, it hadn’t taken her long to realize that Kat was a bandage for the mark Dina left on her.

All of her insecurities about the way she felt about Dina were poured into Kat. She liked her, she was attracted to her, she wanted to try things out with her. But, after all those weeks of being between girls, it hadn’t been until the moment that Kat’s feelings were ripped out into the open that Ellie’s mind skidded to a halt, and reality hit her with a winding force. _This isn’t right._

“I do feel it, Kat, but–” _But it isn’t what you think._ That’s what she had wanted to say, but her sentence was cut short when a pair of lips slammed hard against her own.

Kat’s lips worked on her desperately, like if she stopped, Ellie would just disappear. Wide-eyed and stunned, Ellie’s lips didn’t respond. But Kat’s hands placed themselves against a strong chest, fingers brushing her collarbones, and sparks flew through Ellie’s body to the point where it almost became unbearable. It was sending shocks to her center – right between her legs – but she was too frozen to reciprocate. She didn’t even know if she _wanted_ to.

Ellie stayed stuck in place for a minute, eyes stuck blazing into the closed eyelids of the girl kissing her passionately. Her lips gave little response, only gently did they play back against hers, but she stayed frozen, eyes still wide.

Finally, when Kat’s hands brushed their way up her collarbone and onto her neck, and a sigh escaped her mouth, Ellie ripped her hands away from her sides, placed them against Kat’s shoulders, and lightly shoved backward. Both girls were panting – Kat from her urgent kisses and Ellie from completely, stunned anxiety.

There were mere seconds that passed between them until Kat spoke.

“I knew it,” She stated coldly, looking away and wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve. “I knew you liked her.”

Ellie’s face twisted in shocked outrage, her brows furrowing as she pressed the girl in front of her with an affronted question. “What?” She demanded breathlessly.

“I saw the way you looked at her the entire time,” Kat sighed, wiping her face and lips as she regained her composure, explaining herself as she did. “The way you talked to her at dinner? You sat next to her, you joked with her, she flirted with you. She touched you, you never stopped her. The way you looked at that waiter when he flirted with her. You even fucking paid for her, Ellie.”

“Wait–” Ellie extended a panicked hand that was quickly thrown away by Kat’s.

“I knew it,” She repeated with a scoff. “The way you talked about her when we were together. It’s like she’s all you constantly thought about or worried about. Just from the way you talked about her to me, I knew you loved her.”

Ellie’s heart was close to pounding through her chest. “No, it’s not that, I–” She couldn’t even get a word in. The girl’s mind was already made up.

“And the way she acted toward me at the table?” Kat threw her arm out with outrage. “I knew right away she liked you back. I could tell from the minute she walked over, but I don’t need more proof than that. I’m a threat to her. You can’t even deny it after all of that.”

She tried to cut her off again, but to no avail.

Kat only continued, disappointed and defeated. “I really thought things would work. I thought maybe I actually had a chance with you. But I know where I don’t belong. In my head, I hoped maybe I was just overthinking it, and maybe you and I really could’ve made things work. But it’s clear to me now that your heart is somewhere else, and you’re way too in love with that girl to even spare me a second glance.”

All the words in Ellie’s mouth choked up. They all stuck to the back of her throat like awful-tasting, sour glue. Her tongue turned to sandpaper, and her heart pounded rhythmically against her ribcage. She was locked in place, and all her barriers were coming down. She was like a thief being caught red-handed in an act.

“I don’t want you to waste your time,” Kat sighed. “I definitely won’t waste mine. There’s no use in dragging me along for the ride anymore. I really hope everything works out between you two.”

When Kat turned to go, Ellie quickly rushed to grab ahold of her, to stop her, so they could just talk it out, but she cursed the words that stayed glued to the back of her throat. “No, Kat… wait. This isn’t fair, just hold on–”

Just as she took a step forward to grab after her, Kat turned, and her gaze alone stopped her.

“I know you’re gonna do great out there,” She managed a sweet smile, but her face was twisted in pain. “Really, I don’t doubt that you’re gonna bring the win home.” She started for the door again.

“Can we just talk?” Her voice was desperate. Ellie didn’t even care about the win, or the fight, or her teammates. Panic had completely taken hold of her mind, and she wanted nothing more than to talk it out with Kat. All her insecurities were coming undone as she realized Kat knew her secret affections – she had read Ellie, something Ellie wasn’t used to. It felt like her world was crashing down around her.

Reluctantly, Kat turned again, face even more pained than before at hearing Ellie – this girl she really liked and cared for – pleading to converse. But she just knew it would hurt more. It wouldn’t do any good to talk about it. Ellie read it from her face, but still, she wanted more than anything to fix it.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” Kat’s voice was gentle and understanding, completely contradicting her previous tone when she poured her heart out to the taller girl. “Good luck out there.”

The door closed with a click, and Ellie just slumped back down into the bench as she watched the empty air that followed Kat out the door. Bringing a hand up to her face in shock, she roughly rubbed her eye, stressed and confused and dazed and part of her, even angry. _Jesus, what the hell?_

She could only hold her head and sigh. Everything had happened so fast. And yet, she still had a match to fight in just minutes. She felt her heart sink further when her eyes glanced up at the clock over the door. The recent memories of Dina’s reassurance mixed with the stress of her abruptly ended ordeal with Kat created a confusing concoction that plagued Ellie’s mind, igniting her body with nervous, excited tension. How was she supposed to take on her opponent with all of this teenage, girl drama bullshit on her mind? She cursed Dina, she cursed Kat, and she cursed herself.

_Look at this fucking mess you got yourself in,_ Ellie chastised herself, causing her hands to find her face and rub again. _And now you just gotta get out there and fight, huh?_

She didn’t have much time to process anything before she heard Coach Frank’s voice urgently calling for her outside the locker room. His voice was laced with a frantic excitement, and Ellie was launched back into her harsh reality with no time to think.

Frustratedly, she huffed and stood, moving to her locker to grab her boxing boots and her hand wraps before she slammed the locker as hard as she could, releasing that last second of anger. She headed for the door and let the memories of what took place sink in her mind, all her attention focused on pushing the locker room door open and letting it slam behind her as she stepped toward the rooms leading up to the entryway of the arena.

***

_Abby Anderson._ That name had been ringing in her head for hours – her first opponent in the ring. This girl that she’d be facing in just minutes of passing time. The name terrified her.

Coach Frank had spent a hard ten minutes preparing her for her biggest challenge since she arrived in Colorado. He had spent his time reassuring her, patting her on the back, helping her get ready to step out. There was a decent crowd – more people came to these things than Ellie imagined. A lot of the school was there, waiting, seated in the arena, waiting for the fights to start. She got a peak at them through the entryway that was darkened, lights off to keep anyone from seeing the fighters, coaches, and the team in the back. It felt more like an entertainment thing than a sport.

Standing in the entryway on the opposite side of the arena than her opponent, knowing this so-called Abby would emerge out of the other side when her name was called with Ellie’s was one of the most dreadful feelings Ellie had ever been faced with. Everything in her wanted to run off back to the locker room, back to safety, where she could be back in the lingering smell of Dina and the memories she found with it. Kat barely even crossed her mind.

Ellie could feel the heartbeat in her ears when the announcement that the event was commencing sounded from the commentator booth, hooked up to the speakers to prepare everyone for the first fight. Of course, that was Ellie and Abby’s. She knew this. But, oh, how she wished it wasn’t true.

_“Thank you so much for joining us in the first event of the season!”_ Ellie heard the voice echoing through the rowdy crowd. This was nothing like any football, soccer, or any other sports game she’d seen while being at UEC. This was a whole different underlying, exciting realm of sports that made her heart pound against the inside of her chest and made the blood pump through her veins harder and harder with every moment that passed. _“In just a few moments, the fights will begin. Please be reminded that no fighting or roughhousing in the house or the seats are tolerated.”_

“You ready, kid?” Coach Frank interrupted the trance set on Ellie’s mind as the announcements echoed off the walls of her skull. She felt two hands come up behind her and gently take the hood of her muscle shirt that was draped around her bare shoulders, and bring it over her head, resting it against Ellie’s auburn hair.

When Ellie turned slightly, she was met with the big, excited smile of Frank, and beside him, Tomas. Tomas was in his boxing gear, his UEC hooded muscle shirt draping around his lean figure, his tan skin damp with sweat, from what Ellie figured was a combination of his nerves and the humid atmosphere around them. Both of their eyes were big and lit-up, faces bright with encouragement and optimism.

Tomas’s hands found Ellie’s shoulders and gripped tightly, holding onto her comfortably as she smiled in response to their presence. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

The hands on her shoulders squeezed harder as his smile only grew. “You got this, twinkle toes,” He teased, alluding to her stamina and her surefootedness in the ring. Bring it home for us.”

“I’ll do my best,” Ellie was unsure in her words, but both Frank and Tomas knew that it was the nerves fueling her skepticism.

Frank took a hold of her shoulder as Tomas backed off, pointing ahead through the huge hallway that was blackened and dark. She could see the ring and the lights from many meters away. His free arm extended, pointing to the nearest right corner of the ring. “You see that corner there? Tomas and I are gonna be waiting there. We’re in your corner for the fight. I’ll be there with your gum shield before you fight.” Frank turned her, placing both hands on her shoulders and facing her head-on. “Listen to me, kid. When we get out there, remember, you have a minute between each round. You got twelve rounds to make this happen. You’ve got the skills, you’ve got the speed, you’re light on your feet. College divisions work a little differently than the normal professional divisions, so don’t panic if you get someone bigger than you. You’ve got good power in these fists–” He reached down and grabbed her hands, holding them up to strengthen his point. “–you’ve got a good core, and you’re fast on your feet.”

Tomas backed him up, cutting him off. “You got this, Red.”

Ellie was overwhelmed with the rushed words of encouragement. She could only nod quickly, taking deep breaths and letting all the information sink in. She tried desperately to cling to every memory of every lesson and all the instruction. In her mind, she knew she was a talented fighter. Frank had made it a point to remind her many times. But it never stopped her from her nerves shaking under her skin, igniting her veins to flame as the adrenaline pumped wildly.

Frank’s hands found their way up back to her shoulders. “I know it’s rough to be the first one out there. But don’t even think about it. Think of your family and friends. Think of the ones here supporting you. You got your whole school behind you, El. You’re gonna be just fine.”

“We’ll be in your corner the whole time,” Tomas reminded, taking a step forward to put a hand on the worried girl’s shoulder alongside Frank’s. Their hands both touching her shoulder brought a sense of relief. It was unbelievably nice to have such support behind her. _I really can’t ask for a better team, huh?_ “You slip up out there, just tough it out the round, and we’ll be there to get you back on your feet at the break.”

“Okay…” Ellie breathed out, both in response to their encouragement and to calm herself down. She raised her eyes to the ceiling to stare in panic, both the guys around her tapping her shoulders and hands and arms.

Coach Frank turned his head to see the gates opening and he received signal from one of the refs to get out there to prepare in the boxer’s corners.

“That’s our cue,” He murmured, patting her once more on the shoulders before giving her one last meaningful look. “We’ll see you out there, El. You got this!”

As they turned to run down the ramp to head into the ring, Ellie was left stranded there, and suddenly she felt the ice flooding her veins and replacing the blood that flowed there. She felt the world blurring out around her, her heart pounding in her ears, and suddenly she felt light-headed. Her hands shook as she slid them each into the gloves.

Taking a few steps forward, her silhouette bathed in the light that poured in from the arena. The rest of the world around her didn’t seem to exist anymore.

_“Representing our home turf, the University of Eastern Colorado, hailing from Jackson, Wyoming, we have newcomer fighter…”_

Her legs started to move on their own as she took the steps into the spotlights, out of the shadows, and walked toward the rink without even a second glance spared to the roaring crowd around her at all angles.

_“… Ellie Williams!”_

As her name was called, an exciting amount of cheers from the crowd echoed the entire UEC arena, echoing off of the dome walls. There were so many more people than she had expected, and as she took in the UEC side of the arena, she saw all of the unfamiliar faces hollering and shouting as she came into their view. Ellie could only watch in astonishment, mouth cracked open, in complete awe at the scene before her. She had stopped right before the ring to take in the huge crowd, all of her college schoolmates, right there with her.

_You got your whole school behind you, El,_ Frank’s words replayed in her mind like a broken needle on a record, the amazement of the students around her washing away her anxieties like a wave. She forgot all about them.

She knew she couldn’t stall – she was quick to snap out of it, a newfound energy coursing through her and her adrenaline spiking as she jogged for the ring, lifting herself onto it, grabbing hold of the ropes and climbing over them smoothly. Quickly she headed to the comfort of her corner, where Frank and Tomas were waiting for her.

Both of them reached to help take her hooded muscle shirt off, lifting it over her head and struggling to get it around the gloves. Ellie helped shrug it off, clad in only a black sports bra, and the UEC Big Horns team shorts. Her boots were fastened tightly to her previously before stepping out into the ring. Before they were able to slip her gum shield on, Ellie was distracted as the announcer called her opponent out.

_“And representing Western Colorado University, the visiting team, hailing from Seattle, Washington, we have newcomer… Abby Anderson!”_

Time seemed to stop as Ellie watched the girl emerge from the darkened hall on the opposing side of the arena. A large shape, slender, lean, but muscular. Arms much bigger than her own, and a stronger face. Hair tucked back into a braid, eyebrows furrowed, and fists clenched in hand wraps, Abby Anderson was one of the scariest women Ellie had ever seen in her life.

And now she was face to face with her.

_Oh, God, I’m so fucked._

She was much more menacing up close. Abby didn’t take the minute to bask in the amazement of the roaring crowd. She simply stomped up to the ring, hopped in, landed with a thud, and was upright once more, hovering over Ellie a few inches that she noticed from the other side of the ring. When Ellie’s eyes met hers, they were cold – there seemed to be nothing behind deep brown eyes that watched her, reading her, weighing her options and forming her judgments on her. Ellie thought about mustering a smile, but she was quick to forget they weren’t out on the campus grounds, walking by one another. In just moments, the two girls would be throwing punches at one another, doing anything they can to outmatch the other, maybe even one knocking the other out.

_This is your enemy. Don’t ever forget it._

Even Coach Frank and Tomas seemed to be impressed at her build. When Ellie turned back to them, they were wide-eyed as they looked over Ellie’s opponent, unexpecting of the girl to be so weighted and muscular. Ellie snapped them out of it when she walked over, urging for them to put her gum shield in.

“Ladies, please join me,” Called the ref from the middle of the ring, signaling to both girls to come forward. Reluctantly, Ellie gave Abby a quick glance over and vice versa, but Abby was the first to move toward the center. “Now, I don’t want no foul play here. You both know the rules – no striking below the waist and only your hands are allowed to be used. No elbows, knees, legs, feet, waist, anything. Understood?”

Both girls nodded curtly before the ref took each of their wrists and pressed their gloves together.

“Clean match, girls, okay?” He reminded, letting both the fighters have their moment of locked eye contact.

It was then that Ellie couldn’t swallow the words anymore. “Good luck,” Ellie wished, her breath shaky and her chest heaving.

Abby never broke eye contact with Ellie, their gloves still pressed together. “Good luck,” Abby echoed, their sportsmanship giving Ellie a little more of a relief.

Each of them headed back to their corner, both of them bouncing lightly where they stood, the adrenaline fueling them as they prepared for the go-ahead from the ref. The tall man had both hands up, keeping them both from starting.

And finally, that’s when the bell rung.

Ellie took the first step forward, hands up by her head in proper striking position, bouncing on the tips of her toes and ears pointed out to the crowd that was roaring as the bell rung. The whistles and shouts never ceased throughout the minutes in the match.

Abby was quick to establish her position toward the center of the ring, having Ellie moving about quickly in circling motions around the outer edges. But it wasn’t long until she took the first few steps forward in advancement, causing Abby to assume a defensive position as Ellie’s glove connected with her forearm in a quick jab that proved unsuccessful.

Scoping out her body to assess for weak spots, Ellie saw the chance to strike when Abby’s arms just too close to her upper body, and Ellie threw another jab to her lower arm that had Abby striking back toward Ellie’s face. With a hasty dodge, Ellie managed to land a hook to the side of Abby’s head, which wasn’t powerful enough to faze her, but enough to make the crowd go wild.

Breathing heavily into her arms and gloves, Ellie had moved into the center with Abby, both girls rounding off on each other, executing some proper blows in the form of jabs and hooks. At one point, Abby even attempted an uppercut that proved unsuccessful when Ellie blocked it, opening another chance for a right hook that had Abby stumbling backward, but staying upright on her feet.

Ellie did her best to regain as much stamina as possible – she tried not to tire herself out too quickly or too early. The first round was light and bouncy, neither girl really making a solid strike on the other, saving their energies and testing the waters against their opponent.

Three minutes felt like mere seconds, and when the bell rang to signal the end of the round, the ref quickly ran to the center to separate their stances. Ellie wasted no time heading to her corner, met with the encouraging, frantic words of her coach and her teammate.

“You did excellent, kiddo,” Coach Frank praised, immediately raising a bottle of water as Ellie sat, catching her breath. Tomas, equipped with gloves, helped get the shield out of her mouth, Frank lifting the bottle to help pour some much-needed water in her dry mouth.

Sucking down the water like she’d been deprived for days, her heart still pumped desperately in her chest and she felt her lungs aching from the way she had been breathing, hard and fast.

“That was a great first round,” Tomas assured, a hand finding place on Ellie’s shoulder as she despairingly took in the water.

Coach Frank was in agreement. “Yeah, absolutely. You didn’t waste your energy, and now you’ve got a feel for her style,” He pointed over to Abby’s side, head through the ropes and finger subtle as he pointed over the left side of Abby’s abdomen. “You see that side there? She’s a righty. She punches right. She blocks bad on her left, I noticed it right away.”

Tomas nodded. “Yeah, you need to aim for some more left shots. She holds her glove too low. You can aim for her upper head, too.”

Ellie just nodded, still breathless and aching in her chest. The ref signaled for both of the fighters to get back to their feet, and Ellie stood, the helpers on the sides of the ring quickly removing the stool and Tomas patted her shoulder blades from in the ring, before quickly bringing himself out.

It was seconds before the bell for the second round sounded, and this time, Abby was fast to make a first approach, and landed a powerful shot to Ellie’s left forearm as she blocked the glove from making contact with her face. With her right hand, she sent a hook flying into the direction of Abby’s abdomen, but she was too slow to the punch as Abby blocked it.

Back in the zone, Ellie felt her heart rate increasing again, the scary look of the bigger girl in front of her advancing something she’d been dreading for so long. And here she was, facing her. Strangely, she felt as if all her anxieties had drifted away, completely masked by this animalistic need to win. Every instinct fought to defeat her.

Another few steps of advancing and retracting, fake outs, and attempts that halted before they barely began, she watched Abby’s hand come crashing around in a searing hook that Ellie was quick to dodge, but when another hook came flying around the other side, Ellie felt all the air leave her lungs when it connected with her cheek.

Stumbling, she landed with her knees on the floor and a heaving chest as she tried to recover from the blow. Her whole face buzzed and stung, and she grimaced her face as she heard the crowd going wild, both from outrage and from excitement.

Despite being stunned, it didn’t take Ellie long to get back on her feet. Heaving herself with shaky arms, she resumed a defensive position as she stumbled up on her legs. It was one knockdown. Two more and it’d be over.

_Stay on your feet, Ellie._

Abby took the opportunity to attack while Ellie was thrown off, stepping forward to try a jab-hook combo that Ellie was able to successfully block.

_Duck, duck, right._

Parrying to the right, she was able to throw the larger girl off with a strong hook to her abdomen, sending her back a step and leaning over the damaged area. She heard the sigh as her glove connected with her taut abdomen, Ellie fighting a smirk at her advancement over her. She didn’t think there was a more satisfying feeling in the world than watching the bigger girl bending forward from how forceful Ellie’s punch was. _There’s plenty more where that came from._

Just as Abby went in to go on the offensive again, the bell sounded again, the ref coming between them both once more to separate them, concluding the second round.

Coach Frank and Tomas were quick to climb up on the post, Tomas coming back into the ring, bottle in his hand. The stool was placed, and Ellie slumped down, the sweat really beginning to build up in her pores and wetting her cheeks and forehead. The buzzing was still faint in her left cheek, and she guessed that from the stinging along her cheeks and nose that her face was completely painted over, flushed with red from exhaustion and force.

“I got knocked down…” Ellie panted out, the world still swirling and bustling around her, both Frank and Tomas frantic to help her recuperate.

“That’s okay,” Frank reassured, taking a towel and roughly brushing off Ellie’s sweat, cleaning her face, shoulders, and arms. “That’s okay, it happens.”

“You did great out there,” Tomas promised, referencing the few times during the fight she had the upper hand on Abby. “That one punch that sent her back, that was great.” As Ellie wolfed down the water, Tomas lowered himself down, an arm extending to grab her shoulder. “You just need more combos. Remember what we practiced.”

“You need to throw some more jabs in there,” Frank told her. “She’s not as good at defense as she is on offense. She has strong attacks, but it doesn’t take much to bring down her defense.”

“She fucking hits hard, man,” Ellie struggled as she took in air from sipping down all that water. She was still panting, calming now.

“Hey, just take a breather,” Tomas urged, grabbing hold of her tighter to accentuate his words.

Frank chimed in with advice. “Keep your head up. You’re doing fantastic. She’s bigger than you, stronger than you. But she isn’t smarter in the ring than you are, not by a longshot. Your brains will outmatch her brawn in this fight. Just keep that big head on your tough shoulders, okay? Aim for the sides, try to knock down her defense before you strike.”

“And don’t forget the combos,” Tomas added, just as the ref called for the fighters again.

Determination was fresh in her blood as she forcefully got herself to her feet. Taking deep breaths and letting her chest heave as the sweat still pooled around her abdomen and her face, she made eye contact with Abby from across the ring once more, ready for the third round.

When the bell sounded, Ellie was quick to rush for the middle, scaring Abby into getting into a defensive stance, arms braced over her head face, and Ellie saw her opportunity. It was just seconds into the round that Ellie was going on the offensive, sending multiple flying hooks and jabs into Abby’s arms, trying to find her way around them. The crowd screaming behind her kept her advances up. Finally, she landed two crosses into the side of her head, one on each side, before Abby was backed up into the rope of the ring, trying her best to defend against Ellie’s ravenous attacks.

One after the other, she used the energy, but it was paying off. Abby was beginning to crouch down, and finally, with one last powerful hook, Abby was down on the ground. The crowd went wild as Ellie stood above her, regaining her breath as she watched the bigger girl recuperate.

_Ten, nine, eight, seven…_ Ellie counted down in her head, pleading she’d stay down for the proper ten seconds, resulting in the knockout. _Please, please, come on. Five, four…_

Ellie took a step back as the bigger girl got to her feet, stumbling, but she managed. Breathing heavily, Ellie could see the extent of the damage she did on her. She was winded, beaten, and weakened from Ellie’s blows. Abby’s face was red and glassed over with sweat.

Before she could step forward and resume her offense, she saw Abby taking multiple steps forward, rushing ahead toward Ellie. Startled, Ellie threw her arms up, eyes wary and watching as a jab-hook combo headed right for her face. Watching Abby charge her was terrifying. She missed both of her shots to Ellie’s face, but quickly finished off with an uppercut to her abdomen.

Huffing out painfully, Ellie tried to grip at her stomach before realizing her mistake when she saw Abby’s glove coming right for her face again. Ellie was quick to bring her glove up in defense, blocking the shot, then sending a left hook right to the side of Abby’s face. The blow didn’t do anything, but she watched Abby’s face grimace from the strike.

The blow to her stomach had definitely done a number on Ellie. She blew out painfully, the round having taken a lot out of her. The crowd finally calmed as they both circled one another, catching their breaths. Ellie went in for an attack.

_Jab, hook, jab._ The combo managed to land her jab against Abby’s nose. Covering it with her glove in response, Ellie only saw the blood dripping out when she removed the gloves from her face. Pride welled in her chest as she’d managed to make Abby bleed. It weirdly felt good to watch the blood drip from her left nostril and land on the ring floor. But it only seemed to piss her off.

As Abby rushed forward to attack again, the bell sounded. The ref had to forcefully stop Abby from charging, but as soon as it processed in her mind that the round had finished, she stopped and went to her corner. Ellie was halfway there already when Tomas climbed in the ring,

“You okay?” He asked, placing down the stool. Ellie didn’t even look at him before she sat down, panting. She was covered in a blanket of sweat now – it lined her cheeks and forehead, over the bridge of her nose, down her arm and in the ridges of the muscle on her abdomen.

Nodding and spitting out her gum shield into Tomas’s gloved hand, she leaned back with a hand grabbing her throbbing abdomen. “That shit hurt.”

“Looked like it,” Tomas blew air out from his nose in amusement as he leaned down to carefully brush over the area with a towel, cleaning up the sweat as Frank carefully handed a bottle over the ropes of the ring for Ellie to grab. He was in his usual spot, climbed up on the post.

Frank shook his head. “I can’t believe how powerful she is. But hey, that knockdown you had was incredible, kid. You really went for it.”

Ellie nodded, still panting and taking in water. “She’s weak now.”

“Yeah, she is,” Frank agreed, eyes glued to the bigger girl across the ring. “She’s getting tired.”

Tomas, who was squatted down in order to access the sweat-covered skin of the fighting girl, looked up to reassure her. “Did you hear that crowd when you two went at it?”

“Barely.”

“It was insane.”

Frank brushed it off. “Never mind that, now,” He dismissed carefully, trying to run the one-minute clock. “Your offense is amazing. Keep that up. Eventually you’ll tire her out. Any time you see her catching her breath, go for it. She’s not good at handling herself when she’s tired.”

“I’m getting tired, too,” Ellie admitted breathily, head buzzing and airy, the stinging from each blow and the bruising on her abdomen keeping her spirits low.

“I know you are,” Coach Frank promised. “I know this is tough. But you’re doing amazing for your first fight. Just keep the energy up and you’ll outmatch her.”

“Okay…”

The ref called them back in, and Ellie was the first to get on her feet and head for the middle, still finding the energy through her exhaustion. Abby was hesitant – staring into the center, clearly tired, but slowly coming to join her moments later. _I really have the upper hand on her, don’t I?_

Every thought seemed to leave her when the round started, her mind racing back into a desperate, animalistic mess, with her only thought being to viciously beat Abby in this fight over her anxieties. But that quickly disappeared when a jab came right through her gloves and landed right on her mouth. The gum shield was the only thing standing in the way from that punch knocking every one of Ellie’s front teeth into her mouth, the smaller girl stumbling back from the sheer force, but regaining her footwork within seconds.

As she recuperated, Abby pulled a very similar tactic to Ellie’s from the previous round. Noticing the girl was weakened from the blow, Abby took the opportunity to get her backed against the ring’s ropes, throwing ruthless amounts of jabs and hooks, aiming to get her to back up involuntarily. When Ellie’s bare back felt the touch of the rough ropes, she knew it had worked.

Every blow that she blocked seemed to buzz against her skin that was barriered by the thickness of the glove. She felt the panic setting in as she covered her head tightly with her arms and gloves, and she prayed that the relentless chain of blows would just stop. She almost wanted to beg. But, she didn’t. She knew she wasn’t that weak, and she’d never let it consume her.

_Left, step, hook._

Instead, she parried off to the left, stunning Abby at her ability to dodge the punch and break free, and with a surprising amount of speed, she sent a left hook square into the right side of Abby’s face. Throwing her back, she nearly stumbled down and fell, but caught herself on her feet. But it wasn’t enough time to recover as Ellie rushed forward, prepared to give her a taste of her own medicine by sending another powerful hook to her left cheek now, sending her flying back against the ropes as the crowd’s volume picked up so much that it seemed to hurt in her chest.

With the same brutal force, Ellie buried many hooks into her gloves and strong forearms, a few getting through and smashing into the sides of her head. Her knees began to give out, and with a turn much like Ellie’s, she broke free, sending another uppercut into the already weakened side of Ellie’s abdomen.

Hunching over breathlessly, Ellie groaned from the attack, but both girls were in desperate need of recuperation, both of them on opposite ends of the ring, winded and injured. As if the timing couldn’t get better, the bell rang to end the round, and both of them split off to their corners, Ellie finding trouble in walking over from how knocked down she felt.

Tomas barely wasted a second jumping over the ropes and into the ring, a wet towel in his gloved hands as he raced to help Ellie to her stool. He helped her spit her gum shield out as he held her. When she finally sat, Tomas’s towel was smashing into her face, all around her nose, prompting a yelp of pain from the girl.

“Sorry,” He apologized frantically. When he pulled the beige-colored towel away from her face, it was stained red. “She got you good in your nose, bro.”

“Ellie,” Frank climbed up on the other side of the ropes, a hand finding her shoulder. “That retaliation was absolutely phenomenal. The way you slipped out of her grip… if you ever get stuck in a situation like that again, where you’re backed into a corner, go for her left side. She’s really weak there.”

Gripping her side, Ellie heaved with pain. “I really don’t know how much longer my side’s gonna hold out…” She admitted, dazed and angry at how bad this was affecting her.

Frank frowned – she could tell he was sympathetic to her and it warmed her heart to know how much he cared. “I know, kid, I know. But she’s hurting, too. You really did a number on her. Just keep it up, and I think you’re gonna take her down.”

Ellie took the water hungrily out of Frank’s hands, when, with kind eyes, he handed it to her through the ropes. She thought her lungs would burst through her chest from the way she was breathing, and the way they burned when she downed the bottle of water in seconds. Tomas had stepped back from wiping her face, moving on to her shoulders and arms, slicked with sweat, cleaning them up with a clean towel.

It felt like no time at all until they were being called back again. With a heaving sigh, Ellie lifted herself to her feet. The exhaustion was really starting to grip her body. And when the ref initiated the fifth round, Ellie felt that fatigue really working on her.

Even Abby wasn’t quick to the punch. Her face was swelling, her nose still red from the little bit of blood that had dried from her injury a few rounds before. Ellie mustered up whatever strength she had to get up close to her, to go on the offensive, and as they circled around, throwing quick jabs and attempted hooks, she felt the energy resurfacing a bit.

Ellie sent a jab-hook combo that seemed to prove effective, throwing Abby off, but she quickly retaliated with a rush forward, a cross sent over to the side of her head, but Ellie was able to soften the blow before it struck.

They played that back-and-forth game, charging, sending an attack, defending. A few of Abby’s blows broke through Ellie’s defense, weakening her further and making her panic as the fatigue was becoming too much to ignore. But she knew what she had to do – she knew she had to be strong.

That was, until Abby went on the offensive.

Before she could process a thing, Abby’s large frame came barreling toward her, sending all kinds of moves in her direction, once again slowly coercing Ellie against the ring’s ropes. But Ellie knew better than to let her punches get her down. She’d outsmart Abby with her movements, get her to fall for the trap and go after her.

Dodging one brutal cross and skipping off to the opposite side, Ellie stood her ground, backing up lightly to lead a dazed Abby around the ring. As she neared, Ellie was able to get a few good attacks in, a forceful jab and a cross to the head that successfully landed. Abby’s frustration was building, making her more vulnerable, and Ellie used that happily to her advantage.

Both of the girls were getting hit after hit on the other. Ellie’s determination was building, the adrenaline beating, and everything around her – the crowd cheering, the blood roaring in her ears, the force of each punch – began to get hazier and more exciting. She was advancing, striking Abby over and over and over, backing her into the corner, and she was losing her defense, and Ellie was winning, and–

And just as her adrenaline peaked, she hit the floor face-first.

Shocked, dazed, completely winded, Ellie panted on the ground, eyes wide as she looked off to the corner of the ring where Coach Frank and Tomas stood, jaws on the ground. The world around her was dark and ringing – it felt like she’d been stunned by a grenade in the middle of an all-out war. Nothing made sense anymore and staying there on the ground seemed like a better option than returning to her feet.

Light blood had spurted out in front of Ellie. She figured it was from her nose, but she wasn’t very sure. It could’ve been from anywhere on her face. All she knew was that she couldn’t even _feel_ her face. Her nerves were completely frozen – numb and stinging – right where Abby’s brutal fist had connected with her left cheek. She laid on her right side, stuck to the ground.

_Get up._

Her immobility was terrifying. But it was peaceful on the floor. Her body ached. She was drenched from head-to-toe in her own sweat. Blood dripped into her mouth from an injury in her face – one she, still, had yet to identify. Down there, she couldn’t be touched. Those were the rules.

The large, ravenous figure hovering above her – the same one who had landed her flat against the floor with a glove to the cheek – held triumph in her eyes, which watched carefully for her retaliation. Ten seconds felt like ten years in the seconds she found herself on the floor, completely and utterly dazed. _This is it,_ she thought. _I’ve really lost now._

_Get up, god damn it._

The ref was yelling now – her time was running out. She felt the rest of the energy she’d built up – the same energy that had been completely and abruptly cut short in such a ferocious manner – start to fade away from her body. Everything seemed to be stopped around her, so, she thought, why get up?

Then, she saw a face.

On the side of the ring, with hands holding onto the side of the ring and a head peeking up over, eyes completely washed with worry and concern and every emotion Ellie could name, she saw Dina’s face there, watching intently from the sideline, right next to Tomas and Frank.

_Dina._

How long had she been there? Had she been there the entire fight? All of her surrendering thoughts skidded to a halt in Ellie’s dazed mind at the way the spotlight of the arena struck down on that gorgeous, freckled face and those dark eyes – now a deep brown from the light – and everything came back to her in a crashing wave that had her drowning in her own recuperation.

_Of course, she’s here,_ Ellie’s mind thought as her hands placed themselves down against the floor and lifted up. _She’s always been here._

The crowd went wild as Ellie, on her knees, held herself up by her arms. But none of that mattered to her. What mattered was getting back to her feet and winning this fight.

Seeing Dina off the edge of the ring, anxiously watching from the sideline, it was all the encouragement in the world. She needed no more than that. Dina was watching, she was rooting for her, she was there for her. Nothing in all the world was more important than that, so she was prepared to win this fight for her. Dina had watched her bleed, fall, take every one of Abby’s hits – Ellie wasn’t about to let all of that be in vain.

Determination swept her as she slowly, carefully, but firmly got back to her feet. The cheering only accelerated. Ellie’s brows were furrowed, and her face was grimaced as she slowly brought her gloves back up to her face. All of the blood flow had started to pump again, the previously built-up adrenaline came soaring back. The stinging and the pain slowly started to ebb away as Ellie’s goal became locked in her eyesight.

With a heaving breath, Ellie charged forward, startling a stunned Abby, who had been too busy gaping at Ellie’s quick rehabilitation. With all the might and force of her previous attacks, Ellie started hammering away at the larger girl.

The only thought in her mind was Dina’s face, those anxious eyes watching her, zoned in on the blood spurted across the ring floor. And what those worried eyes would look like turning as bright as the sun when Ellie’s name was called as the champion.

Battering Abby with jab after hook after cross after blow, she felt the girl weakening against her gloves as she savagely threw as many attacks as she could. Abby managed to dodge a few, retaliated a few times, but there was nothing she could do to stop the rage and determination that coursed through Ellie like a vigorous infection. A relentless, bruting force that kept Ellie going from her weakest point, to now, her strongest. She felt completely, utterly, unconditionally unstoppable.

_“You’re gonna do great out there, okay?”_

Dina’s words echoed in her mind, a sweet melody on an old vintage record player, the vinyl spinning and repeating the same mellow words that had her heart fluttering and beating with force. A voice she could listen to a thousand times, the reassurance so revolutionary in Ellie’s mind that she craved its power like an addict. She wanted to hear Dina telling her that she believed in her for the rest of her life.

She could hardly register each blow anymore. The world seemed to operate in slow motion. And when Ellie’s powerful right hook connected square on Abby’s face, that was the end of it.

Down on the floor, Abby was breathless, exhausted, and stunned. The wideness in her eyes and the way she hunched over, trying desperately to grip at the light of consciousness and get back to her feet to resume the fight.

_Ten, nine, eight…_

But there was no recovering from it this time. Just as she’d done to Ellie, Ellie had done it right back – Ellie had buried multiple hard blows, powerful uppercuts, right into the abdominal area of the bigger girl. It had winded her enough to get her knocked down, and it seemed painful enough when Abby’s face seemed to grimace at her own hand touching on it.

_Seven, six…_

Ellie’s heart started to pick up as she realized that the countdown was happening fast, and there was no sign of Abby getting back to her feet. She seemed completely done for and that only seemed to drive Ellie farther into a savage-like state of desperation. _Please. Stay the fuck down._

_Five, four…_

She threw a panicked glance at her corner, where Frank and Tomas had climbed up on the rings in stunned astonishment, the excitement building in their whole bodies as they stared dead into Abby, waiting for any movement or any kind of sign of recovery.

_Three, two…_

_“Yes!”_ Ellie exclaimed, running around the ring in complete, overtaken excitement, the crowd roaring in her victory, as the ref slammed his hand down on the ring floor.

_One._

_“Ellie!”_ Coach Frank yelled above the cheering in astonishment and triumph, climbing up into the ring with his arms up and holding his head in shock.

With the adrenaline pumping more than when she was fighting Abby, she rushed forward to take her coach into her arms. The world was spinning around her, but when she collided with Coach Frank and embraced him, Tomas running up to join them in this triumphant embrace with nothing but smiles and cheers, jumping around in their corner with the crowd shouting out to take part in their victory, everything made sense.

All of UEC had been screaming her name, screaming with triumph and shock and _excitement,_ and everything just felt so good.

Abby was still planted down on the floor, her coach and two teammates who had been hustled on the outer side of her corner now inside the ring trying to get her to her feet. Part of Ellie – the moral side of her – did feel bad for her. She knew how much Abby wanted the win. But it just turned out to be that Ellie wanted it more.

“That was fucking incredible!” She heard Tomas yelling, both of them pulling out of the hug to rough her up and congratulate her and boast about her as the crowd continued to cheer.

When she looked over to the edge of the ring where she’d previously seen Dina, she was nowhere to be found. She worried that maybe she didn’t get to see the win, or she had left while Ellie was on the ground out of fear that she would lose. But then she remembered that Dina wasn’t that strong. She would stay for Ellie.

Wishing it was Dina who had come to run up and embrace her instead, she let herself sink into the feeling of the raging crowd, her coach and Tomas yelling and cheering in front of her, Abby on the ground, and the refs signing the winning and ranking sheets. Her victory and her fight all felt like a blur, a fantastic step in her life, and yet all she could think about was Dina.

***

The locker room was fairly dark and empty when she went back into it after her fight. As the rest of her teammates did their rounds, Ellie, being the first one to finish, let herself recuperate – gather her thoughts and process her victory – in the quiet solace of the locker room.

None of the previous drama with Kat even crossed her mind – even Dina became a passing thought as she headed back up the ramp and into the backstage area of the arena. All of her teammates were excitedly congratulating her, telling her how well she did, and recounting her best moments during the match. And eventually as the high from the fight and the win came down, so did her energy, and she found herself retreating to the locker room for some peace in her own mind.

Sitting down on the bench, her entire body still damp and terribly sore, she soaked in the feeling of the dark stillness around her, how it contrasted against the bright, loud, roaring atmosphere of the ring. It was peaceful, and Ellie realized that, as much as she loved the way it felt to be recognized and out there during the fight, she much rather the peace and quiet she felt when she was alone.

She knew she wouldn’t be alone for long, anyway, so she savored every second of it.

The image of Dina’s head peering over the edge of the ring, eagerly and anxiously watching her roommate battle it out with an opponent that seemed impossible for her to triumph over, came flashing back like a flood into Ellie’s mind, completely washing over her thoughts of the fight itself, and replacing it with a warm, buzzing feeling in her chest at the thought of the girl being there.

The bruises, the blood, the force and the exhaustion; all of that didn’t seem to have any effect on her like seeing Dina there did.

_Where did that strength even come from?_ Ellie remembered the completely drained feeling of being brought down on her face, cheek to the floor and body sprawled out there, blood on the floor of the ring that had come from – she found out – her lip. Her nose had been busted previously during the fight, but she’d managed to split her lip pretty badly along with it.

Her mouth tasted of iron. It sat sourly in the back of her throat, but it tasted of victory. And victory tasted so sweet that she barely even cared.

Dina had been her strength. Seeing Dina there, watching her, rooting for her. It was all she needed to recover quickly and attack with even more force than before. Abby was a smart and powerful fighter, but it wasn’t any match for Ellie’s driven determination to win for the girl she–

_The girl I what?_ Ellie cut off her thoughts with a question that had been pressing so hard at her mind, the same question she’d been pushing to the back of her mind.

The confrontation with Kat resurfaced. She’d gone on about how she knew that Ellie was in love with Dina, and how she never stood a chance with her, despite how much she’d hoped for change.

_In love? Is she crazy?_ Ellie never fell in love. She always said that she did. Every time a new girl came around when she was younger, it was always some extravagant love feeling that was so overwhelming that it pained her chest and sent shockwaves through her body and let butterflies loose in her stomach. But every single time that she let herself feel that way, she was completely torn to shreds with loss and pain and anger. There was never a feeling of love that came without feelings of anger and misunderstanding. She wasn’t one to call herself romantic. She was always having problems with girls and love and affection – sometimes, she didn’t even know how to give it, and she definitely didn’t know how to receive it.

That’s why, for so long, all of those weeks that’s dragged by, she couldn’t figure out whether or not the affection and the unrelenting attention Dina showed her was at all romantic. What if that was just her interpretation? Was she ready to get her heart ripped out again?

And when Kat came into the picture, she saw an open opportunity to cover the feelings she felt for Dina with a blanket. She would toss Kat and her feelings for Kat over her feelings for Dina to keep them at bay, and to hide them from her view. She would see Kat and forget about Dina for a while, and all the pain that came with wondering just what it was that Dina wanted with her. Any possibility that Dina’s intentions with Ellie were anything but romantic were completely thrown aside, her feelings for the girl redirected into Kat.

But Ellie was growing tired of running and hiding.

After all, Kat was out of the question now. Maybe they could reform some semblance of a friendship – Ellie could only hope, for she’d come to love and care for Kat like her closest confidante – but even so, would it ever resume a healthy, functioning, caring relationship like they cherished before?

_God, why am I doing this to myself right now?_ Ellie scolded herself, an arm coming up to take a dizzied head into her hand. _This isn’t the time. I know it’s hard and I can’t help it, but just spare yourself._

Thankfully, her thoughts were interrupted, and the face that came through the door of the locker room was nothing short of completely welled with pride and excitement.

“Look at this champ!” Dina’s voice was bright and thrilled, her arms spread out wide. “My fucking trooper!”

The smile grew on Ellie’s face immediately, and she slowly brought herself to her feet, heaving as the soreness took her entire body by the helm. Dina was quick to step forward and embrace the beaten girl with a gentleness in her touch that had Ellie dazed.

“You did fucking amazing out there, El,” Dina’s voice was so soft – it battered Ellie’s heart. Ellie let herself sink into the completely ethereal feeling of Dina’s soft hair and skin, letting her face bury in the tied up black curls and take in the smell, much like she’d done before the fight. It gave her strength and comfort. Reassurance.

Ellie pulled back just a second to meet her eyes with Dina’s. “I didn’t see you after the fight. Did you leave?” It was the only one thing she was worried about.

“Oh, no, I was there,” Dina promised with a grin. “It just got so chaotic that I had to step back. But I was screaming and yelling when you won, don’t worry.”

“Okay,” Ellie’s voice was just barely above a whisper. “Did you enjoy the fight?”

Dina chuckled sweetly. “Well, seeing you get your ass kicked for a minute there wasn’t exactly my ideal form of entertainment. But watching you kick the shit out of her back definitely was.”

A laugh escaped Ellie’s throat. “That _was_ pretty badass, wasn’t it?”

“So badass.”

The two of them just embraced the comfortable atmosphere, both of them all smiles and full of adoration for the other. Ellie couldn’t help but just study her face – that beautiful face in front of her, in her arms – and her mind was at peace. Dina smiled, looked down to the floor, and then back up. Her eyes flitted to Ellie’s lip – the one busted up – but regardless, there was a specific yearning behind those dark eyes that Ellie was so close to acting on. How badly she wanted to fucking kiss her right there.

“So,” Dina’s voice was feigning innocence and exaggerating. “Now that you’re done with your first fight for a while, I think we should talk about that whole one-on-one idea.”

Heat stroked her body then at the wrongfully interpreted implication, but Ellie swallowed it with a nervous chuckle. “Oh, that’s right. I did promise.”

“I had that really cool idea about driving up to my favorite lookout spot,” She suggested softly. “Maybe we can grab takeout or something and go chill up there for a while? Jayson said we can use his car, he doesn’t care.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Excitement started to well up in her chest.

“Sounds like a plan. Wanna go sometime this week?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Ellie nodded quickly. “Maybe after our math test?” She suggested with an innocent, excited smile.

“You’re so cute,” Dina giggled in a breath. “That sounds good to me.”

There was a peaceful quiet that came over them again, and finally Dina unhanded the taller girl – much to her dismay – and started to stretch her arms out.

“Alright, well, now that your fight’s done, I think I’m gonna head out. I’m pretty fucking exhausted and I got a history test coming up,” Dina stated with a small grin. “That’s cool with you if I go, right? I’m sure you’ve still got a busy night ahead of you.”

“Unfortunately,” Ellie chuckled in retaliation, hiding the disappointment in her voice with a smile.

“I’ll see you at home, then?” Dina raised an eyebrow, her smile still blatant and caring.

“Yes, you will.”

Dina huffed out through her nose amusedly, before turning off and heading to the door much like she had just about an hour ago. Watching Dina go, knowing she was heading back to their dorm and she would probably find her there at the end of the night, maybe with her face in a textbook, maybe sleeping. It filled her with utmost joy to know it. There was nothing that gave her more of a feeling of peace and tranquility than knowing she had a home with Dina.

Before she headed out the door, she turned quickly as Ellie had turned away to get her stuff out of her locker.

“Oh, and don’t forget,” Dina called over to her. “We still have those tattoos to get tomorrow!”

All of the dread in the world filled Ellie in that moment. She’d completely forgotten about her appointment with Dina to go see Kat and get her tattoo finished, and let Dina choose her own to get. _Oh, my god._

“O-Oh, yeah!” Ellie shouted back, clearly taken back by the sudden reminder. “Sounds good…” She wanted to punch herself from the nervous shaking in her voice.

“You know,” Dina looked away from a moment in appreciative thought. “Dinner was pretty fun. Your friend Kat? I kinda like her.”

As she exited without another word, Ellie felt the sudden urge to slap herself in the face for the mess she had gotten herself in previously. It still wasn’t over – she’d have to face Kat to finish her tattoo with Dina at her side.

_Fucking hell, how awkward._ She berated herself, head in a palm. She got her clothes and angrily slipped herself into a new pair of clean ones. _Typical._

Throwing her dirtied ones in the locker with a slam, she headed out the door after Dina to find the rest of her team, completely forgetting about her victory and her mind swirling with the thoughts of the girl drama she’d found herself in. _How fucking typical._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed the REALLY LONG chapter. i apologize for the wait again. im gonna try and stay better at updating this as much as i can, but i also want to resume writing one-shots and working on the masterlist.
> 
> this chapter meant so much to me. so thank you for reading :)
> 
> please give me a follow on tumblr @lmontyy to keep up to date with writing stuff, tlou posts, and even my personal life too :)
> 
> thanks again! stay safe out there!


	5. Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following her boxing victory against Abby Anderson, Ellie has some loose ends to tie up with a certain girl that she still can't seem to get out of her mind. Meanwhile, Ellie and Dina's relationship only seems to strengthen in the days after the match, leading them to an upcoming date on the mountain at the end of the week that brings their ongoing tension to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a minute hasn't it!
> 
> welcome back to this story y'all, i am SO INCREDIBLY SORRY about the delay. i can't believe almost half a year slipped away from me like that. but i return with a damn good chapter that i believe y'all will agree was worth the wait. i promise i'll be better about updating. i had incredibly busy, incredibly rough winter. while my real life stuff has definitely impacted how much time i have to write by ALOT, i am doing my best to keep content coming out and i am so sorry to all of the wonderful, amazing readers who have waited so patiently that i couldn't get this out sooner.
> 
> but i am back! and this story will continue!
> 
> thank you so much for the continued devotion. i love all of you so so much
> 
> INSPIRED BY "BEST FRIEND" by REX ORANGE COUNTY.
> 
> HIGHLY SUGGEST LISTENING TO "SEA OF TEETH" BY SPARKLEHORSE FOR THE LAST SCENE OF THIS CHAPTER.

_Shining lights, bright lights, screams, and then pain across her face, a stinging searing pain._

The fight was all Ellie had dreamt about; all Ellie had thought about all day since it happened. She was riddled with lucid dreams of being out in the ring, hours before she’d laid down in bed in her quiet dorm next to Dina, who had already nearly passed out by the time she’d gotten there. She’d muttered a quick greeting to the exhausted, beaten girl as she walked in, asked how the rest of the night went. Just as Ellie was describing the rest of the night, Dina had fallen asleep before she could even finish.

_The crowd going wild, the world spinning around her, the soreness in her hands and wrists behind thick, padded gloves._

She’d slipped silently into bed that night, completely overtaken by sleep no more than moments after her head found her pillow. All she could think of was Dina’s face outside of the ring as she drifted away.

_The sound Abby made when she hit the floor and stayed there. The cheers and the screams from the crowd. The sounds rung in her ears._

“You hanging in there, doofus?”

Dina’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. She jumped in her skin as reality surrounded her, the lights of Fort Collins and the street lights and cars passing by brightening the world around her.

“Oh, yeah…” Ellie was quick to brush it off, the memories that had been stuck in her mind finding their way back as she focused on the sidewalk ahead of her.

“Still soaking in your victory there, big shot?” Dina’s tease was accompanied by a side-eyed look of amusement. Ellie only rolled her eyes in response.

“Maybe.”

Dina’s laugh made Ellie’s heart swell in her chest. Knowing that she’d been watching her swooping feat in the ring made her even more excited, and it made the victory all the more sweet on her tongue.

Dina couldn’t resist taking a jab at her ego, of course. “Well, your black eyes and your busted lip would tell a different story. You’re just lucky I was there.”

“Can it, short-stack, nobody asked you,” Ellie shot her down, shooting her a deadpan look as they kept walking, the tattoo shop coming into view. When Ellie physically tensed next to her and stopped walking, Dina’s teasing tone vanished almost immediately, and a soft hand found purchase on Ellie’s arm.

“Hey, you alright?” The concern in her voice was enthralling. “We don’t have to go if you don’t think you can handle it.”

Ellie had recounted the story of what transpired between her and Kat the night before to Dina sometime during the day. She’d tried her damndest to convince both herself and Dina that she could handle seeing her, but as nightfall came around and the two girls started for their appointment, the doubt crushed her like gravel under boot.

She wasn’t so sure she could do this anymore.

“No, it’s fine,” Ellie insisted, swallowing hard and taking her anxiety with it. “If I don’t go, it’ll be worse. Besides,” she held her arm out, showing her now-healed outline of the moth and ferns on her forearm. “I gotta get this finished at some point, don’t I?”

“I guess you’re right,” Dina exchanged a sympathetic, understanding smile, rubbing her hand gently against Ellie’s opposing arm and letting it drop to her side. “Come on, we’ll be in and out before you know it.”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded curtly, responding in kind with a similar grin, nothing but nervousness etched into her lips. But something about the way Dina was smiling at her just made everything seem a little better.

_You always make it better._

As they started walking once more, a little bit of _Dina_ poked through the cracks once more. “Not to mention how hot you’re gonna look with that tattoo, too.”

_Never mind, you suck._

The next few moments were silent, but Ellie’s lips had pulled upward into a grin after her comment. Even when they pushed their way through the door and the bell rung above their heads, she still found herself tightlipped, but grinning all the same.

They were greeted and quickly escorted to the back room. Ellie found herself in the chair first, with Dina on the stool over to the side. A supportive and caring smile crossed her lips when Ellie looked over, eyes desperately watching her to relieve her of her nervousness. It worked wonders.

The door creaked open, and they were both met with a face neither of them expected to see.

“Mato,” Ellie greeted, the surprise riddling her voice and sparking a kind smile from the man at the doorway.

“What’s going on, Ellie?” His voice was a blessing to hear.

Ellie only smiled awkwardly. “Not much, really.”

“Oh, really?” He raised an eyebrow, his lip twitching upward into a smirk. “What the hell happened to your face, then?”

_I have to stop forgetting that I look like I just came out of a gang fight._ “Oh,” she laughed nervously, an amused look from Dina burning into the side of her face. “Just a boxing match.”

“Alright, hotshot,” he joked, sitting down comfortably in the chair at the small desk opposite to the stool in which Dina sat. “Who’s this lovely lady you’ve brought with you today?”

“This is Dina,” the girl in question exchanged a quick greeting with him. “She was interested in getting some work done.”

“Nothing big,” Dina cut her off assuringly. “Honestly, I’m just here to make this one feel better.” She cocked her head in Ellie’s direction, earning a disapproving look from the taller girl.

“Yeah, okay,” she brushed off her sly comment. “My hero.”

Mato chuckled lightheartedly, leaning an arm on the chair as he watched Dina. “Okay, Dina. What were you thinking?”

The question almost seemed to take Dina by surprise, as if she herself didn’t even know what she was looking for that night. Ellie knew she’d thought it through, but it seemed as though now that she was sitting there, making her decision, all of the thoughts seemed to leave her. It wasn’t something she was used to seeing in Dina.

“Well…” Dina’s shy chuckle was wonderfully enchanting. “I was thinking of doing something for my family. My mom, my sister, and my brother. Something basic, honestly.”

Mato’s hand immediately went for the drawer of the rotted old desk, pulling out a manilla folder and opening it up, spilling out the different designs on the wood in front of him. “Let me see what I can get here…” he mumbled to himself as he rummaged through them.

A moment later, he turned, marred old paper in hand, and he held it out to Dina. Ellie’s eyes fell over the pattern – three little birds flying inward, a beautiful pattern of vines and thorns weaving through them.

When Dina’s eyes lit up at the pattern, Ellie felt every object around her melt into the ground, and she felt her chest fill up and bruise her ribs.

“I love it.”

Mato seemed pleased enough with her response. Standing with a proud smile, his tone held nothing but enthusiasm and satisfaction. “Awesome. I’m gonna get my own tools set up, and I’ll call you into the next room when I’m ready,” he said as he headed for the door, paper still in hand and the cluttered mess still clad against the wood. He turned quickly before leaving, his smile still bearing as he faced Ellie. “Kat will be with you in just a minute.”

Ellie did her best to hide the way her heart jumped to her throat as he closed the door. Dina seemed to pick up on it almost immediately.

“You got this, tiger,” Dina’s voice was teasing, but the undertones of care and protectiveness soothed her instantly. “You just took down a massive girl twice your size. You can handle this lightweight.” Dina’s quick little digs were amusing to behold, but deep down she felt bad as she pictured the way Kat’s face fell the night before as Ellie pushed her off.

It was no more than a moment later that the door squeaked open again, but this time, it was Kat. Just as expected. Ellie’s heart jumped again, but she remained stoic and calm. She was good at hiding her feelings. This time was no exception.

Kat shot her a small, tightlipped grin in greeting as she made her way to the desk, fresh needles and equipment in her hands that she set down beside the mess of paper.

Ellie’s eyes quickly gravitated to Dina’s, whose were burning like lasers into the back of Kat’s head. There was nothing but fury written across the dark patterns in her eyes. There was a steaming jealousy behind the anger that had Ellie trembling in her skin. Ellie couldn’t distinguish the emotion anymore – she couldn’t tell if it was anger at Kat’s actions or her jealousy and protectiveness over Ellie that was fueling the fire behind those eyes. 

Arms crossing, Dina leaned back in her chair, keeping that same scowl even when the smaller girl turned to give her a sad, welcoming look. Despite their rivalry, Kat was still trying to show some form of kindness to the feistier girl across the room. It seemed as if Kat had given up.

Ellie wasn’t sure if that relieved her or disappointed her.

“How are you guys doing?” Kat, surprisingly, was the first to break the silence that befell the three girls. Ellie’s eyes widened in response, but she kept her emotions at bay.

“We’re fine,” she answered, a curiosity to her tone as she watched the girl shuffle through the papers and prepare her needles. Her voice was soft and gentle – very different than how she had planned to front when she was face-to-face with the blonde. “How are you?”

“Doing alright,” Kat’s response was curt. It stung.

Mato’s voice seemed to interrupt the silence that came over once more. He called out Dina’s name, beckoning her into the next room, to which Dina reluctantly stood, eyes never leaving Kat’s figure. Even as she turned around to greet her goodbye silently, Dina still glared daggers into her. There was an anxiety about leaving the two girls alone written all over her face. Ellie picked up on it right away.

But, she turned back and shut the door without a second glance, anyway.

Shuffling with her hands awkwardly, Ellie threw anxious glances over at the girl who faced away from her, still prepping on the desk. She wondered if she should be the one to break the silence, but she still felt irked with the girl for having done what she did.

Kat threw a look over her shoulder as she spoke again. “She seems upset, huh?” The tone was almost laced with jest, but Ellie knew that she was serious. The underlying melancholy in her voice completely gave her away.

“Yeah…” Ellie just laughed nervously, hoping Kat couldn’t hear the terrible pounding through her chest. Everything about the encounter was setting her nerves ablaze, making her head run in circles as the girl turned to get closer to her, equipment in hand.

Memories of the night before flashed through her mind and it made her hands tremble. The memory of Kat pushing her up against the lockers, her head hitting against the metal as more desperate words flew out of the girl’s mouth and a pair of lips smashed into her own. Seeing Kat’s face and remembering how close it was the night before made her heart jump into her throat.

Kat seemed to pick up on every thought in her mind as she glanced down at Ellie’s clenched fists. Blue eyes read her green ones like light work. She drank in every one of Ellie’s anxieties and she watched as Kat’s face winced and turned downward. Nothing but guilt clouded her face and it stunned Ellie.

“I know she hates me,” she tried to make light of the situation, but when her eyes found hers again, there was nothing but sincerity across them. “Do you hate me now, too?”

Ellie gulped as one of her fists reached up to grab the arm of the chair. Her mouth cracked open, but no sound came out. _No, I know I don’t hate her._ She thought it was pointless to say so, but Kat was sitting there with a downcast hope breaching the fabric of her soul. _She thinks you hate her._

“No, I don’t,” Ellie’s voice was shaky as she responded. Clearing her throat and pressing down the anxiety deeper, she tried to regain her control of the situation. “It’s okay.” More firmly this time, Ellie’s fingers eased against the leather of the chair. “Don’t worry.”

Relief seemed to pass over Kat’s expression, but there was still a sense of doubt written there. “Okay.”

The same cloud of silence aired over them both, leaving so much unsaid underneath that it weighed on Ellie’s chest like an anvil. There was so much to unpack, so much to talk about. All of the feelings Ellie had for her, and what they meant. All of the covering up her brain did. All of the distraction she needed and why she used Kat.

_I used her._

There was nothing more painful than admitting that. The entire night after the fight, it was all she’d thought about. She spent a time in the locker room lost in thought about how she had projected her feelings for Dina onto the poor girl, how it had been the downfall of their entire relationship from the start.

It had hurt to admit that Ellie was the bad person in the situation.

Using Kat had been so much easier than Ellie had anticipated. She needed that bandage over the wound. Kat was her bandage and Dina was the wound. She’d come to accept it, and she hated herself for it. She hated herself so much for it.

_I have to apologize. I need to explain it._

“Listen, about last night…” Ellie’s words seemed to spill out. _I can’t say nothing._

Kat’s voice cut her off almost instantly. It was so fragile, Ellie thought it a thin layer of ice coating over the windows. “No, let me,” she sighed, turning back and sitting slowly on the stool, hunched forward. “Just let me apologize, okay?”

All of the thoughts in Ellie’s mind slipped away. All of the words stuck to the back of her throat like glue. She could only listen, the shaky voice starting apologetically.

“I shouldn’t have done what I did,” Kat admitted after a deep breath and a stern look toward the girl in front of her. “It was really wrong of me to put you in that position. I shouldn’t have kissed you, and I shouldn’t have put my hands on you.” A hand brought itself up to her cheek and she scratched her own skin gently as she continued. “I wasn’t… thinking straight. I saw Dina and the way she looked at you and what she was doing and it just… I wanted to act before she could, I guess.”

Ellie processed each sentence slowly, carefully. It was overwhelming, but she took it easily.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I felt something between us,” Kat confessed, eyes averted as the words passed from her lips. “I don’t regret telling you that. But I should’ve known my place and I should’ve understood from afar what was going on. I shouldn’t have been so blind.”

A passage of silence fell over them as Kat formulated her next words carefully. Ellie was trying her hardest to read her face, read her expressions, but the overload of information topped with her shock at the situation proved to be increasingly difficult.

With a hesitant purse of her lips, Kat’s eyebrows furrowed before her eyes found Ellie’s again. “I know why you did it. I know you like her. She’s beautiful, how could you not? I know you put yourself in the middle. I know. And I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, either.” Ellie’s eyes widened in shock at the girl’s calm words.

“I did a lot of thinking last night,” she continued, looking away again. “I realized a lot of stuff, and I’m not mad at you. I’m hurt, but I’m not mad. I’m happy for you, actually.”

“Happy?” The question flew out of her mouth before she could catch it. It was the only thing she’d said the entire time.

“Yeah,” Kat chuckled sadly, breathily. “I’m happy for you because Dina likes you just as much as you like her. You’re just too stupid to realize it.”

A hard swallow followed her words. With wide eyes, Ellie could only watch her with a vast sense of confusion – a denial she couldn’t break. She refused to entertain the idea until now, and even then, when Kat, an outsider, had pointed it out to her, she still couldn’t bring herself to give in.

“My point is,” Kat cut her off before she could say anything. “I shouldn’t have put you in that position knowing how you felt. I should’ve left it be. And I’m sorry for doing that to you.”

Reaching for her equipment and readying the ink into the machine, Ellie was left in silence to take in everything she’d just said. But it took her no time at all to respond.

“I owe you the apology,” Ellie stated firmly, swallowing every ounce of her pride. “I shouldn’t have led you on like I did. I’m a piece of shit for that, I know.”

“We’ll be pieces of shit together, then,” Kat’s lighthearted words were more comforting than she imagined.

“I guess so,” Ellie responded playfully in kind.

Kat’s small grin spoke volumes. The remainder of the time it was silent. She allowed the machine to brush over her arm, inking it little by little as the shading started to become more and more realistic, and Ellie was entranced by the way the needles moved along her skin, marking her.

The atmosphere had completely flipped. The tense, uncomfortable, painful environment shrunk into one of comfortable appreciation for each other’s words from earlier. It was among the most relieving feelings Ellie could imagine. She knew things would be awkward for a time – she knew the friendship they had would take long days and nights to repair, but she had utmost faith that they would both find a way back to one another again. The anvil that had been pressing into her chest seemed to have lifted, and all it took was a few moments of Kat’s apology to feel the weight of the world being cast off of her shoulders.

But the next time that Kat had spoken, it threw Ellie into a frenzied surprise that had her eyes widening and peering into the side of the artist’s head.

“So, did you make your move yet?” Her tone was playful. Ellie listened deeply for any sense of deception or jealousy, but she found none. It was a humble question.

A breathy chuckle of surprised disbelief passed her lips. “What?” Ellie asked for clarification, almost refusing to process that it was Kat, of all people, asking her such a question so casually and lightheartedly. The entire situation had changed so much in such a short time – between the night before and the apologies that night – it had Ellie’s head spinning.

Kat looked up at her with a dumbfounded expression on her face, as if she couldn’t understand what Ellie hadn’t gotten from her question. “Did you tell Dina how you feel yet?”

Blood rushed to her cheeks and with a furrowed expression, she turned away. “What’s it matter to you?”

“Am I not allowed to be curious?”

Ellie scoffed, her face still scrunched with embarrassment. “Yeah, just keep it to yourself.”

“As you wish, Miss Abs of Steel.”

Ellie didn’t even try to fight the smile that spread across her face.

***

“Holy shit, Ellie, what the _fuck_ were we thinking?”

Ellie’s palm hitting her face only seemed to make the situation more comical. 

The night came and went – it had taken a few hours to get out of the tattoo parlor, but Ellie and Dina managed to make it out of there before the night grew too late. She remembered the chill of the light breeze passing through the city streets, following them all the way to their dorm. The nights were getting colder and Ellie appreciated every bit of it.

But that morning, the pair had woken up to a ring on their bell, and when the exhausted girls opened the door, both a ruffled mess, they’d opened it to the scene of the dorm staff transporting their furniture up to their room, leaving it outside the door and stockpiling it against the walls of the hallway.

There they were, surrounded by their furniture at all angles, unsure of what exactly they were going to do with it all, but in Dina’s tired rage, she’d demanded that the two girls were left alone to figure it out themselves.

“Well, you sent away the fucking movers,” Ellie grumbled, sleep still rich in her voice as she wiped her eyes with a heavy sigh.

Dina turned to her with furrowed brows and an unamused glare. “They woke us up.”

“I hope it made you feel good for those few seconds,” the taller girl muttered. “You know what’s _not_ gonna feel good in a few seconds? My back.”

“Oh, suck it up, crybaby,” Dina dismissed playfully. “You’re a boxer, for fuck’s sake. Don’t tell me the big, bad boxer who took down a girl twice her size in her first fight can’t handle a couple of mattresses.”

“Shut up.”

Two strong hands hooked under the mattress that laid flat against the floor. With a strained string of groans, Ellie finally got to her feet with the mattress pressed into her entire arm and shoulder. Holding her breath and aiming for the door, Ellie took a diving sprint for the doorframe, getting the mattress and her body both through without tripping on anything – somehow – and tossing it down on the floor with a heaving sigh and wide, pained eyes.

Slowly, she turned to look outside the open door at Dina, who watched in her shock and amusement. Nothing but disgruntlement was written across her face. A deadpan look was blasted at Dina.

“How… much shit… could you have possibly gotten… for this tiny ass room?” Ellie demanded between pants, hunched over with her hands on her knees.

Throwing her hands up innocently, Dina was quick to retaliate. “Don’t just look at me, Williams. You picked this shit out, too.”

Sighing deeply and turning away in defeat, Ellie scrunched her face as the soreness in her back had already started to grow. She’d only run one mattress into the room and she was already feeling the strain on her muscles. _And I have practice this week, too. What a great combo._

“If I have to go to practice feeling like I got hit by a truck because of you, I’m gonna throw you in the ring with me and we can settle it there,” Ellie groused, leaning down to pick up the next mattress.

With a laugh, Dina quickly moved over to assist her, grabbing it from the other end. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, tiger.”

***

About an hour and a half had passed and they finally managed to get all of the furniture through the doorway after helping each other move the old desks out. Ellie was nearly out of breath by the end of it, with Dina being no better.The two of them were exhausted, but they still had quite the job to do. They still had to move everything where they wanted it, as well as set up their decoration in the way that they wanted.

“First things first…” Dina pondered aloud as she glanced around the room. “Since we have our beds set up already, let’s fix up our desk areas, maybe?”

Glancing over at her corner, her desk area was totally wrecked, covered in garbage from her everyday goings as well as all the stuff from moving. “Yeah, mine could use it, I think.”

Dina chuckled amusedly when Ellie turned back with a grin. “Well get on it, Williams.”

Rolling her eyes, Ellie began tossing away all of the trash and making room for her actual items. The desk was small but held just enough room for the things she’d wanted. Some of the things, she remembered, were even still packed away.

After spending a few minutes clearing off the desk, Ellie took a step back to get a good look, and that’s when it hit her. Without hesitation, she rushed for her suitcase and pulled out a picture frame. Placing it on the corner closer to her bed, Ellie couldn’t fight the smile that formed when she saw the picture of her and Joel – a picture from when she was about thirteen or fourteen, with her arm around Joel and a thumbs up to the camera that they both smiled at – sitting so perfectly behind thin, clean glass.

Throwing a glance over her shoulder, Dina was making good progress with her own desk; her own picture frame containing three people Ellie had never seen before – but all looked strikingly similar to her – tucked inside had made its way into the corner, with a candle holder beside it and a pretty lamp on the opposite end of the desk. Right above it, Dina was working on getting a small cork board into the wall.

“You need help with that?” Ellie offered kindly, but there was a teasing hint behind her voice.

“Nope, I’m good.”

Ellie only grinned and shook her head. It was peaceful being in the room with Dina. Even in the quiet, it was a comfortable silence that she definitely found herself appreciating. She enjoyed the calm company of her roommate, much more than she liked to admit. Kat’s words from the night before rang in her head all night and all morning as the two of them worked hard to move all of their furniture into their room. 

It felt more like home, and Ellie couldn’t exactly tell if that was because of the new decor or if it was just because Dina was there to decorate with her.

Ellie didn’t bother to think too much into it. She enjoyed it too much to second-guess it.

When Ellie turned back to rearrange a few little items she’d brought with her from her desk back at Jackson, she wasn’t expecting a shy question to sound from the other side of the room, but it immediately captured her attention.

“Hey, so, uh…” The smaller girl’s usually confident demeanor was nowhere to be found, left with a shaky and insecure question that had Ellie hooked in almost instantly. “About that idea I had yesterday.”

It took her a moment to scavenge her mind and recover the one she was talking about. But when she realized, she knew _exactly_ what Dina was talking about.

“You know, about the place up on the mountain,” she reiterated shyly. “The one I mentioned. I still really wanna go up there.”

The way that Dina paused, the hesitation in her voice. Ellie drank in the implications hungrily, and craved more and more of the sincerity. There was something about the way Dina’s voice tittered shyly that had Ellie hooked. It was so rare, so uncommon to see Dina slipping up on her words, hesitating on the idea of spending time with Ellie – that little moment where Ellie could see the emotion peaking through the cracks of Dina’s walls that held with strong confidence – and yet it completely drew Ellie in.

A smile creeped up on Ellie’s lips, slowly, shyly like Dina’s words. “Well,” Ellie spoke with more confidence than she expected. Dina’s usually bold demeanor shrinking away helped the domineering side of Ellie come out as she took control of the situation. “I’m definitely still down if you are. I’ve got practice a couple times this week before my next fight on Friday. Do you wanna go beforehand? It would probably help me feel better, anyway.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dina answered almost immediately, the unsteadiness in her voice bringing Ellie an endearing satisfaction that had her smiling to herself, even when she turned away to start moving her the rest of the stuff from her desk to the mattress on the floor in order to organize it.

Silence befell them again, and the two girls continued to move their new furniture in. They’d exchange small remarks and conversations here and there, but for the most part, they were left to their own devices in the comfortable silence.

Ellie had situated all of her things onto the new desk, setting them up in the way that seemed right to her. It looked much neater than it had previously, and as she began to move her mattress to her bed frame, Dina interrupted after she’d finished her own desk.

“Wanna help me get these lights set up?” String lights hanging from her hands, she gave Ellie a tight-lipped grin that Ellie couldn’t resist. With a similar smile, she reached a hand out and Dina dropped a web of the lights into it, still holding the other end of them.

Climbing up onto the frames with the strong adhesive tape that had come with the lights in one hand, and the string of lights in the other, Ellie slowly began to line the edges of the wall – at the crease where the wall met the ceiling – with the lights that draped down. As she went down each wall, Dina stood below her, feeding her more lights as she continued to put them up. Slowly but surely she went around the room, standing on the bed frame and then the desk, using one of the desk chairs to give herself a boost up whenever she had nothing else to stand on.

A smug remark came from behind her as she pushed the chair up to the wall and went to stand on it. “Let’s move it, slowpoke. Pick up the pace.”

“You wanna do this?” Ellie turned around amusedly, scowling down at the girl below her, who was holding the mess of lights. There was nothing but a shit-eating grin on those lips. “Oh, wait. How would you even be able to?” Her retort was aimed to sting. “Someone all the way down there could never reach this high, I forgot.”

“You’re standing on a chair. Don’t get too cocky now.”

“Still taller.”

A smug grin was shot her way. “My foot is about three inches from this chair. You really wanna test me?” Dina’s voice was playfully threatening, but Ellie took zero chances with the smaller girl.

“Just hand me the rest.”

Ellie quickly finished putting up the rest of the lights, all of them sticking with ease against the wall. Finally, as the last bit of cord was up, she took a step back on the bed to see the work she’d done around the whole room. Draping over both of their beds and connected through the wall over the night table, each of the lights ended right at the foot of both of their beds.

Satisfied, Ellie hopped down and dusted off her hands, glancing over at Dina and taking in the sight of the wonderstruck girl, marveled by the dim, comfortable lighting they brought into the room. Ellie could tell Dina loved it, and it made her heart soar in her chest.

Dina’s awestruck face, the smile on her lips, the way her eyes gleamed in the lights that draped around her. At one point during their escapade of trying to put them up, Dina had closed the blinds to block out the sun from coming in, making the reveal of how they looked that much more satisfying.

The morning seemed to disappear around them, and Ellie was trapped in this room with Dina, drinking in how she looked under the lights with that perfect expression on her face. She couldn’t help but stare in wonder, watching those dark eyes fall upon each hanging string of lights and lighting them up. Seconds passed as Dina’s wide, awed eyes turned toward Ellie’s face. Those eyes brought about the brightest smile, Dina’s lips tugging upward as she watched Ellie’s expression lighten. 

_God, you’re so beautiful._

Everything seemed perfect in that moment. The world was peaceful, distant around them. But nothing perfect was meant to last.

It was only moments later that a hard pounding on their door jolted them both from the comfortable trance they’d found themselves in – surrounded by the lights and smiling at one another as their room had started to come together. The frantic rapping against the wood shook both girls’ smiles from their lips, and with wide eyes both of them stepped toward the door, Ellie rushing quicker to open it.

Behind the door, the flushed face of Devon took both of the girls by surprise.

Tears covered his face. The blood had rushed to his face, painting his cheeks a rosy red. His glasses were smudged and the sleeves of his long, blue-and-white-striped sweater were dirtied from his wiping his nose.

“Dev?” Dina’s worried murmur came from behind Ellie as she quickly moved aside to let the boy in.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to come like this…” his voice was shaken and fragile, like she could break it like glass with just a stroke of her finger.

“No, no,” Ellie’s surprised but concerned answer was immediate. Both of her hands hovered in the air around him, hesitant to touch him – wanting to, in hopes that it would comfort him – but a hand fell on his back as he slowly made his way into the room.

Dina moved aside, placing one of her hands on his back – Ellie took note of how her fingers brushed her own – as the two girls assisted him to Dina’s bed where they carefully sat him down.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” The gentleness of Dina’s voice as she sat beside him completely touched Ellie’s ears, swelling her heart and it was suddenly impossible to admire how quickly Dina’s gears shifted to help the younger boy.

Ellie joined them, sitting on the other side of him as he began to ramble.

“I-I don’t know… I just…” he sighed in defeat as the tears continued to roll down his rosy cheeks. “I just didn’t take my meds today, and I thought I could go without them, but lately I’ve had so much anxiety about what happened at that stupid party…”

The images flashed through Ellie’s mind. She remembered the way Devon had sent his fist straight into the side of that kid’s face – she remembered his name to be Ben – and the way she watched Ben’s stuck-up, angry complexion twist in a rage she’d never encountered on anyone before. She remembered the way they’d sent themselves running as the roaring jock busted through the doorways and barreled through the crowds just to reach them. Her heart thundered in her ears as her legs seemed to move on their own, sprinting down the street with Devon’s footsteps just behind her.

“You mean the whole thing with Ben?” Ellie asked softly, tilting her head to get a better look at him. “Why? You kicked ass that night.”

Dina joined in with a fragile grin. “Yeah, you and Ellie ran out of there like superheroes.”

A little pause in Devon’s breathing gave her the impression that he’d tried to consider their words with a little bit of positivity, but he only frowned and sighed again.

“What if he’s after me?” The shaky breaths picked up again. He turned to look desperately at Ellie, his blue eyes tightly wound and afraid. She knew this feeling all too well. “What if after all this time he’s been trying to find information about me? You think he’d let us just get away with that?” _He’s… got a point. But he can’t know that. Not now._ “We embarrassed him in front of all his friends. You think he’s just gonna let us hop in a car and drive away like it’s nothing?”

“Relax, okay?” Dina’s eyebrows furrowed as that fragile hand made circles around the smaller boy’s back. “Take some deep breaths, Dev. He has no clue who you even are. Either of you.”

“Doesn’t mean he won’t do everything he can to find out,” he choked out as his two hands found their way placed against his temples. His elbows rested on his knees, which he had curled up slightly inward toward his chest. “You don’t know guys like him.”

“Uh, actually I do,” the smaller girl replied in almost an amused deadpan. “I dated plenty of them.”

_You did?_ Ellie shot her a look from across the panicking boy. Dina didn’t seem to catch the wondrous glimmer in her eye when dark pools met green ones for no more than half a second.

“Still…” Devon protested. “You dated Jesse. He doesn’t count, he’s not as bad.”

“Oh, no, he counts,” Dina huffed, looking away with the same emotionless gaze, a hidden cloud of resentment shading her words. “He’s as big an asshole as any of them.”  


“Actually, he was there,” Ellie interrupted, doe-eyed and sympathetic for Devon, garnering both Devon’s and Dina’s attention. “He was there that night. He tried to get Ben off of him.”

Dina’s face seemed to twist ever so slightly in wondrous confusion. She furrowed her brows, eyes gazing toward the floor in thought at this new revelation.

“He tried to pull Ben off him but he couldn’t,” she continued, recalling the events as they happened in a fuzzy memory fueled on adrenaline. “I remember he tossed him off and kept coming at Dev. Everyone else just watched and laughed.”

The words only seemed to daze Dina more. Studious eyes remained on the floor as Devon interrupted.

“Doesn’t mean he’ll stop him now.”

“Well, listen,” Ellie sighed, reaching across his body and placing both hands on each of his shoulders. “It does no good to worry about it now. I totally get you, but we’re safe. We’ve _been_ safe. Trust me, if he were really after us, he would’ve found a way to get to us by now. It’s been weeks.”

Devon’s eyes turned away, too, as he took in Ellie’s words and let them process slowly. He knew she was right.

“You’ve got Jayson and Charlie around to protect you, and you’ve got Addie. No one’s laying a finger on you while Addie’s around,” Ellie soothed with a smile, prompting a little twitch of his lips in response. Addie’s loyalty to her family and friends was unmatched, especially when it came to her little cousin.

“Most importantly, you’ve got me and Ellie,” Dina seemed to zone back in, coming in to comfort him with a smile and another round of rubbing on the back. “We’re here for you any time, anywhere. You know that.”

Drawing a shaky breath, Devon’s hands made their way around his arms, hugging himself close. “Yeah, I do.” It seemed as though their comfort was helping the panic subside at a rapid rate.

“And plus, Ellie’s a… big tough boxer now,” Dina shot a grin her way with a squinted look that had Ellie responding with a tight-lipped, unamused smile. “She’ll kick his ass now, won’t you, Ellie?”

With an exaggerated crack of her knuckles, she shot him a look of understanding and amusement as she played off of her tease. “You know it.”

Just as Dina took a breath to continue, a slam of their door opening startled all three of them as Charlie’s form stood tall in the doorway. Panic was written all over his face and his eyes zeroed in on the boy on their bed.

“Charlie, what the–”

Ellie was immediately cut off by a frantic press of the tall boy as he made his way over. “Devon told me he was having another panic episode,” he wasted no time studying the face of the teary-eyed boy. “Are you okay?” He quickly dropped to his knees, eyes big and sad and completely overtaken with concern. Never had Ellie seen a more tender look on anyone, let alone Charlie.

Even Devon seemed surprised by his anxiety, but he only smiled it off. “I’m fine, I’m alright now.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it here sooner,” Charlie’s voice was riddled with nothing but remorse. “I tried to get to your dorm as fast as I could, and when I got there, you weren’t there, and– I-I just didn’t know where else to go, so I came here…”

_I’ve never seen him like this. This isn’t like him at all… Why is he so…_

“Stop apologizing,” Devon insisted. “You don’t need to worry so much.”

Dina’s face seemed to mimic a similar confusion but both girls stayed silent. Ellie’s eyes read the same curiosity and surprise at Charlie’s entrance, but she focused her attention back to the tall boy on his knees who only sighed heavily with relief and defeat.

“Since when do you ever worry about anything?” Dina intervened with a lift of an eyebrow and a skeptical look at Charlie. There was a mischievous little twitch at the corner of her lips that told Ellie that she was just as wary as she was.

He almost tripped on his words when his eyebrows furrowed in defense. “If this were one of you guys, I’d react the same way.”

Dina only hummed, clearly unconvinced, only taking her eyes off of him after he’d had time to process the dubious look she’d been giving him, one eyebrow cocked up and a low grin on her lips. He tore his eyes into the other direction.

“I need to get back to my dorm, anyway,” Devon sighed, slowly bringing himself to his feet as his breathing seemed to have regulated. His voice still shook just slightly, but he appeared a lot better on his own.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Dina pressed carefully, standing up with him as she dipped her head to get a better look at his face. “We don’t mind having you here.”

“Not at all,” Ellie chimed in, getting to her feet as Devon shot them both looks of utmost appreciation.

With a sorrowful smile, he thanked them graciously. “I’m in debt to you guys.”

“I can walk him back to his dorm,” Charlie insisted, the frantic concern having faded away rather quickly after Devon had calmed and after Dina had infamously put him on the spot – but this was nothing new. “Just in case he gets a little freaked out again.”

An even bigger smile found its way into Devon’s expression as he watched the look of genuine care for the boy written all over Charlie’s face. “I’d appreciate that.”

“Let’s get you out of here, yeah?” Charlie’s hands placed themselves gently onto frail shoulders, the two boys exchanging fond smiles as Charlie turned them and headed for the door. 

He shot both of the girls a grateful, side-eyed look before turning out of the door, arm around Devon, and headed down the hall. Quiet words exchanged between them, but they were too far and too low for either girl to hear.

A long huff of air fell from Dina’s lips as Ellie moved to close the door. Turning around with a dumbfounded expression, she met Dina’s eyes with silence. A quick jump of her eyebrows and a glance toward the floor seemed to say it all.

“That was weird,” was the only thing Dina said after moments of rigid silence.

“Very.”

“Is it me or has Charlie just been weird lately?” Dina tilted her head with a squinted expression, voice riddled with wondrous confusion.

“He’s always fucking weird,” Ellie breathed out, amusement decorating her words. “But that was… a little extra weird.”

“Devon seems to make him weird.”

“Yeah,” Ellie hummed. “Weird.”

_Everyone’s really weird for each other lately, huh?_

***

_When they’d gotten home from the tattoo shop the night before, they’d barely had any time to admire their works before they were rushing home past curfew, fighting the clock to get back to their dorm unseen._

_Ellie remembered the way the lights whizzed by as Dina led the charge down the sidewalks, across the crosswalks, through the paths of their university and they somehow managed to slip into their dorm complex with only a verbal warning from the guard at the desk._

_But most of all, she remembered how Dina grabbed her hand and squeezed as she started to run the moment they’d stepped out of the tattoo place._

_Despite how dark it had been, the city was bright around them. She’d appreciated that the most._

_When they opened the door quickly to get into their dorm, they carefully shut the door and let the labored pants from their hustle be the only sound that echoed off the walls of the small room. Ellie had already forgotten how plain their room used to look – the old room only existed in memories like these. It was empty and quiet, but undeniably comfortable all the same._

_“You okay?” Ellie huffed out, hands on her knees as she’d hunched over, looking to the girl who was sitting exhaustedly on the edge of her bed._

_“Yeah, I’m good,” she insisted, the most endearing smile across those lips. “Are you?”_

_“Hangin’ in there.”_

_Dina couldn’t help but tease. “Oh, come on, big shot. You just took down that big girl in the ring. You’re already going soft on me?”_

_“I’m not going soft on shit,” Ellie insisted, insulted but amused. “I’m just tired and sore.”_

_“Is that gonna be your excuse next time, too?”_

_“Oh, there will be no next time of this,” Ellie asserted, shutting her down completely. “This is never happening again. I just ran across half a city for this shit.”_

_Dina’s eyebrow cocked as she chuckled to herself. “Isn’t your tattoo the one that took so long in the first place?”_

_“Shut up.”_

_As their strained breaths slowly but surely came down, they both silently arranged their clothes and items as they prepared for bed. Ellie was more than content passing out in just the clothes she had on – she was far too exhausted to even care to find the right wear for bed._

_Dina, on the other hand, made it a point to carefully undress and slip into a comfortable pair of sweatpants. Ellie couldn’t keep her eyes from falling on that freckled back, taking note of the lacy black bra with a hook in the back. Luckily, Dina couldn’t see her, but Ellie never passed up an opportunity to admire the girl across the room. She never meant it to be creepy – Ellie was just so undeniably attracted to her roommate that she couldn’t help but take in just how beautiful she was every chance she got._

_That’s when she realized._

_“Hey, you know, you never even showed me your tattoo yet,” Ellie couldn’t hide the curiosity in her voice._

_The observation prompted Dina to turn around, still clad in her bra and Ellie immediately shifted her eyes away with a sharp inhale, desperate to respect the modesty of the girl in front of her, but also to keep her mind from running in a thousand ways down heated, intoxicating thoughts._

_Dina was shameless around her. She was comfortable._

_“You’re right, I didn’t.”_

_Ellie heard the footsteps getting closer, and her eyes only widened in the direction they looked off in, Dina’s figure coming into her peripheral vision and sending her heart and mind into overdrive._

_“Here, check it out,” Dina’s soft voice urged the taller girl to look her way._

_She tried to fight it. Keeping her eyes away and refusing to look would’ve just made her more suspiciously obvious that she was unbelievably flustered. She scolded herself not to be weird about it._

_Breaking her gaze away from the wall, she slowly but surely let her eyes fall upon a topless Dina, only in the laced black bra and a noticeable black ink across her skin. Across a delicious collarbone littered in birth marks, three little black birds flying toward her heart. It was terribly gorgeous._

_“It’s basic, I know,” Dina chuckled, letting delicate fingers rest on the marked skin, Ellie’s eyes zeroing in on how softly they touched against her collarbone._

_Ellie only shook her head in protest. “Not at all.”_

_A breathy chuckle escaped Dina’s lips as she looked away with an endearing smile. “It’s for my mom and my siblings,” she reminded Ellie, but the latter hadn’t forgotten from when they’d spoken about it. “I miss them, so I figured this was a good way to remember them.”_

_“It’s beautiful,” she assured her, the words that followed almost involuntary against Ellie’s efforts to keep her affections hidden. “It looks great on you.”_

_Dina’s smile found its way back to Ellie’s face, prompting Ellie to shyly tear her eyes away and chuckle to herself, her giveaway sign of embarrassment completely destroying her efforts as that hand brought itself to the back of her neck and rubbed roughly against her skin. The chuckle from the girl in her peripheral vision had Ellie’s heart racing._

_When a warm palm found its way into her own, her brain nearly short-circuited._

_“You don’t have to be so shy around me, you know,” Dina’s voice was low and barely above a whisper. It was thrilling._

_She was so close, her warmth radiating enough that Ellie could feel it tingling against her own skin. She didn’t dare move her fingers, and it prompted Dina to squeeze her palm harder to garner a reaction. Ellie’s eyes couldn’t help but find their way back to Dina’s face in shock at how intimate the moment was._

_Dina’s eyes held nothing but adoration for the taller girl. She wore nothing but a sincere smile as her fingertips played against Ellie’s long fingers. The way dark eyes melded into her own had her completely hooked. She couldn’t believe how badly she wanted to kiss her._

_For a moment, she believed that maybe Dina had been leaning in. She thought she’d seen Dina’s eyes flutter down to her lips. Just for a moment._

_With a nervous smile – but a sweet one, at that – Ellie finally responded by squeezing Dina’s hand ever so gently and letting go, taking a step back to regain herself. “I know,” she lied, desperate to cool down from the warm moment. It made her dizzy, she felt the sweat building in her palm from how hot Dina’s hand had been in her own._

_Her breathing slowed as she took the step back, catching just a hint of disappointment behind dark eyes that faded quickly when an affectionate phrase passed from Ellie’s lips in a desperate attempt to conserve the intimacy in the situation._

_“You just make me nervous.”_

_She couldn’t tell whether or not Dina had caught the doting implication behind the shaky words._

_Taking another step forward, Dina’s eyes poured into Ellie’s as she cornered her, freezing her in place as a hand found her cheek and a thumb brushed against marred, freckled skin leaving Ellie’s breath completely trapped in her throat._

_What is happening? Her mind couldn’t process it._

_“Good,” Dina whispered, still studying Ellie’s eyes and roaming her face, drinking in every little detail that she could before stepping away with a cheeky smile. The moment changed when she spoke again. “I have that effect on people.”_

_It immediately soothed her nerves, frantic from the way Dina touched her, and an amused smile overtook Ellie’s lips. She scoffed at the girl’s cocky joke and quickly let the tension pass overhead._

_“Just go to bed, asshole,” Ellie played, thankful beyond measure that the inexplicably arousing moment had passed – she didn’t know if she could take much more without giving into her urge to press her lips to Dina’s. Or everywhere else, for that matter._

_The two girls slipped into their beds one at a time as the silence only fueled their drowsiness. Nothing else had been said – too much had happened and it was overwhelming._

_Ellie couldn’t believe how close she’d been to her only moments beforehand, and it was all she could think of as she buried herself into the covers. Her eyes burned into the ceiling as she listened to her heavy heartbeat slow to its normal rhythm. Her mind was still racing from all the possibilities and the opportunities of their intimacy together – what would’ve happened if all of the words she wanted to say to Dina slipped out? What would’ve happened if she lost control and ended up taking her lips in a searing kiss she’d dreamed of for so many weeks?_

_“Oh, hey, by the way,” Dina’s murmur from across the room interrupted her thoughts. She didn’t dare look to the other side of the room even as she hummed in response. “I’m excited for our date this week.”_

_So it was a date? The mountain, the car ride, that was a date? Ellie had hoped for it to be one, but she’d kept her hopes confined to her own mind, unwilling to let herself get too far ahead – she had a habit of getting in her own head. Hearing Dina call it a date, though, that was among the most relieving things she’d ever heard._

_“Me, too,” Ellie confessed with a breathy chuckle._

_She’d expected Dina to follow it up with something snarky or teasing, but the sincerity hung softly in the air and it filled Ellie’s stomach with butterflies and she felt her calm heart swell in her chest._

_She’d never get sick of feeling this way._

***

The drive up to the mountain was nothing short of beautiful. Cinematic, almost.

Jayson had given them the keys to his truck without a second thought that night. His friends were all out getting drunk that night and, inevitably, he was being dragged along for the ride.

_“Just don’t break the thing and you can use it whenever you want,”_ he’d said as he placed the keys hesitantly in Dina’s hand. Ellie would never forget the look of triumph and excitement the two girls exchanged as he gently closed the door to his dorm room.

Dina had insisted Ellie drive. She claimed that she didn’t feel like focusing on the road, that she’d wanted to focus on the moment.

It didn’t take long for Ellie to see what she’d meant. As they drove up, the sun had started to hide behind the horizon, painting the world a beautiful gold color and leaving the sky bathed in purple and orange and crimson. Dina’s phone was plugged into the stereo, the sweet sounds of _Sea of Teeth_ by Sparklehorse turning the scene around them into one of the most comfortable in Ellie’s life.

When she turned her head, her eyes immediately found Dina, leaned up against the window, eyes glued to the sun-kissed world around them, watching as the golden light shone through the trees as they passed by. She was completely entranced by the way the light pressed on Dina’s features, highlighting every edge and curve of her body, her face. She looked angelic.

Ellie turned her eyes back to the road and silently decided she could stay in that car forever.

“Turn up here,” Dina’s voice cut through the otherworldly peace Ellie had felt. Ellie followed where Dina was pointing to a crossroad up ahead – a dirt path and the street which continued around the mountain. “That road there.”

With a ginger turn of the wheel, the car headed off-road down the dirt path that took them toward an open lot with no trees. The open dirt plain was sitting blissfully on the side of the mountain, and as the trees cleared, the entire city came into view, dressed in the dimming sunlight, the lights of the buildings contrasting the approaching dark.

Ellie and Dina watched in awe, taking in the beautiful sight in front of them through the windshield, the only conscious part of Ellie’s body being her foot pressing firmly down on the brake pedal.

“Turn the car around, dummy,” Dina laughed, having watched Ellie losing herself in the view. “I got something I wanna show ya.”

Without protest, Ellie turned the car into reverse, backing into the unmarked spot in the empty lot, the view directly behind them and the front of the car facing the cliffs and trees across the small lot.

“Okay, now get out,” Dina urged, pushing on Ellie’s arm with a sweet laugh that prompted Ellie’s smile and a quick unbuckling of her seatbelt as she followed the smaller girl to the outside. Her flannel protected her against the chilly evening breeze. Autumn was slipping further away with every passing day but Ellie couldn’t complain in her current circumstances.

As she made her way around the side of the car, she heard the trunk pop open and the back door shortly after. Peeking around the corner of the car to meet Ellie’s puzzled expression, Dina could only smile.

“Help me out with this,” she said as she disappeared again, Ellie opening the other back door into the backseat.

“With what?” She asked as she watched Dina tug the lever on her side, bringing the back seat down into itself, opening up the trunk by double its size.

“Help me bring the seats down.”

Doing the other side with ease, Ellie caught a glimpse of a singular plastic bag in the trunk that she hadn’t noticed before. The trunk was now open and big, and Dina excitedly made her way to the back after slamming the door, tearing open the bag to reveal a long, thin plaid blanket she had packed away, and a little baggie within it. She carefully spread the blanket across the floor of the trunk, Ellie watching her with wondrous eyes as she flattened the fabric.

“What’s in the bag?” Ellie’s curiosity prevailed.

Dina only shot her the most mischievous look with narrow eyes and a smirk that could kill. “You’ll see.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” she admitted amusedly, helping Dina flatten out the blanket with watchful eyes on the girl’s expression.

“Just get in and shut up.”

Ellie was the first one of the two to slide her bottom into the trunk. Dina disappeared around the side once more, leaving Ellie’s eyes to find that beautiful view once again. Everything shone as the minutes passed and the light of the sun mixed with colored sky seemed to intensify. She found herself completely breathless as her eyes bounced around each building, grazing over the roads and the cars that traveled – they appeared so much farther than they were. The university buildings stood out to her, too, and she saw them without even having to look. She was almost certain she could even see her and Dina’s own dorm building.

Again, Dina interrupted as she poked out from around the side of the car, quickly hopping into the trunk next to the taller girl who immediately became wary of the situation. Her whole body tensed almost instantly, and she found herself trying her best to scoot away, to give Dina space, hoping she wouldn’t notice. But the attempts seemed fruitless as any time Dina observed even the smallest amount of space between them, she closed it.

“Okay, so,” her voice was hurried and excited as she popped open the bag and pulled a joint out from inside the baggie, as well as a lighter shortly after. “I kinda scored us a thing.”

Ellie’s eyes widened at the realization that Dina had went out of her way to get weed for their occasion. She tried her best not to let it get to her head.

“Who goes on a date this hipster without a bag of weed?” Dina asked playfully, taking the joint between her fingertips and holding out to Ellie. “Open your mouth.”

She was hesitant. She didn’t move at first. For so long throughout high school, she’d considered herself to be a stoner without means – toward the second half of her high school career, her anxieties kept her from her vices. She’d told herself before coming out to Colorado that she would let herself go again – she wanted to stop being so uptight and let herself have moments to enjoy what she had in college. She knew the freedom she’d feel was unmatched – she wanted to make sure she took advantage of it.

Heart on her sleeve and eyes glued to the beautiful girl in front of her, Ellie swallowed her worries and took the joint between her own fingers.

Putting it between her lips, the taller girl leaned forward as Dina sparked the lighter, holding the small flame up to the joint that stuck out of her mouth. The first drag that filled her lungs was warm and heavenly, immediate relief washing over her nerves and leaving her much less nervous than she’d previously been.

A small cough escaped, one she tried to mute with her forearm over her mouth, but she was unable to escape the amused chuckle from Dina as she took the joint from between the girl’s fingers. Dina’s eyes didn’t move from Ellie’s recuperating face as she alluringly took a long drag, completely unaffected by the smoke that filled her lungs or by the way she blew it out. Ellie was hooked on her.

“You doing okay over there?” Dina asked smugly, a smirk written across her lips as the rest of the smoke pushed out through her words.

Ellie sniffled as she recovered, having completely forgotten what it felt like to smoke weed since long before she graduated high school. “Yeah, it’s just been a while.”

“A while?” Dina’s eyebrow lifted in intrigue. Her arm extended out again, joint between her fingers, watching Ellie’s face as she pressed further. “I figured you weren’t a goody-two-shoes in high school.”

A playfully offended smile from the taller girl had Dina returning the favor. Ellie took the weed from her hands and put it to her lips. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Stretching her back and propping herself up on her hands behind her back, Dina continued, eyes never breaking from Ellie’s. “Meaning something told me that Ellie Williams wasn’t some innocent little prude when she went to school. There’s more to you than anyone realizes.”

“Even you?” Ellie’s scarred eyebrow cocked, trying to read the smaller girl who studied her.

“I see right through you,” Dina assured her confidently. “I have since I met you. You put on this sweet little facade for everyone.” With a light push of her hands, she was back to leaning forward, closer than before, tilting her head as she sized Ellie up. “I want to know what you were really like.”

A brief pause of tension had Ellie completely intoxicated. The way Dina looked at her stoked a fire in her belly that only seemed to grow with every passing moment.

Leaning against the inside wall of the trunk, Ellie crossed her arms as she blew the smoke from her drag out of her lungs. “What do you want to know?”

“You were a player, weren’t you?” Dina narrowed her eyes, smiling as she spoke. “I bet you had bitches all over you back then.”

Ellie laughed heartily at Dina’s words, handing the joint back off to her as she tried to formulate a response to her assumption. “I mean… I wouldn’t say that necessarily. I had a few girlfriends here and there, yeah.”

“I knew it,” her voice was pleasant, teasing. “I bet you were nice to them, though.”

“Psh,” Ellie scoffed instantly. “I could’ve been better.”

Interested, Dina tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“I was a stupid high school kid,” Ellie shrugged, leaning her elbow up on a propped knee. “I was just… obsessed with the idea that girls liked me. I wanted them to. I never thought they would but I wanted them to more than anything.” The words came out far more sincere and heavily than she’d anticipated, but she didn’t bother to stop herself from continuing. “I made a lot of mistakes. I was young and dumb and I wanted love and sex just like every other teenager. I guess feeling desired was something I cared about more than I liked to admit.”

Dina just watched her carefully, her attention never breaking as she continued to listen, taking an extra drag as Ellie continued to talk.

“Whenever I _did_ have a girl I liked, sometimes I thought it just wasn’t enough,” she admitted, eyes turning out to the view. “It took a lot of time but eventually I grew up out of that.”

“Do you regret being with any of them?” Dina asked gently, handing the joint over to the girl who was lost in thought.

Memories of her ex-girlfriends came crashing back. Rendezvous in the bathrooms, sneaking out of the house to meet up, going to parties or gatherings just to get time alone with the girls. Ellie never forgot how shallow she had been sometimes, and she wore the scar she’d branded on herself heavily throughout the years. It all seemed like a blur once she’d moved out to Colorado, once she’d met Dina. But it never disappeared, not totally.

“No, not at all,” Ellie remembered the faces of each of the girls. _Becca, Isabelle, Delia._ The three main ones, she knew. “Each of them helped me grow. That’s how I like to think of it.”

“I know how you feel,” Dina’s voice was far more sincere than she’d ever heard it, sympathetic and relative to her own. “I used to love the attention of boys. I used to love making Jesse jealous. It was something I never got tired of. And maybe that makes me a shithead” she laughed as she shrugged. “But we all change.”

“I noticed that, too,” Ellie’s eyes found hers again. “It’s like the idea of leaving high school behind just… changes you. I never really grew out of that shit until I came here.”

Another brief second of silence crossed over them before Dina asked another searing question. “You really think all of that made you a bad person?”

“At the time, yes,” she confessed, looking out to the city once more. “But I’ve kind of realized now that every teenage kid is an asshole looking for validation. I did anything to get it from girls I liked. And I did shit I’m not proud of,” she added in with a turn of her head back to Dina. “Hooking up in the bathrooms, making out in back hallways, sneaking out of my house without Joel knowing. I really was just a dumb kid.”

“We’re all still dumb kids,” Dina reassured. “Just a little more mature than before, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Ellie scoffed.

When she turned her head toward the girl once more, she was met with a deep stare that nearly startled her. Dark eyes were swirling with an intensity that had Ellie’s widening when Dina leaned closer.

“I don’t think you’re a bad person,” she murmured softly. “I don’t think any of that ever made you one.”

Ellie’s heart started pounding against the wall of her chest, and subconsciously she found herself sitting up to meet Dina’s intense stare with her own.

“I don’t think your past makes you one, either,” Ellie hummed back, completely locked in a stare with the girl that she couldn’t break. 

Both girls’ lips upturned gently into sweet smirks. Ellie could hear her own heartbeat in her ears.

“I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life,” Dina confessed, leaving Ellie’s mind completely blank.

The adrenaline that overtook her had air coming in and out of her lungs rapidly. She felt her heartbeat echoing through her entire body. Her words weren’t her own anymore.

“Prove it.”

There was just a second of hesitation. One moment of their surroundings closing in until finally, Dina leaned all the way forward and in a soft rush, took Ellie’s face in her palm as she crashed her lips into the latter’s.

Ellie’s entire body buzzed with shock and overdrive. Dina’s eyes shut when their lips pressed, but Ellie’s only widened, at first. It was gentle, soft, and when their lips came apart with a smack, both girls carefully looked at one another, rapid, shaky breaths melding together in front of each other. They didn’t dare move their heads. Ellie flicked the joint away.

Ellie was the one to seal the second kiss in a rush of adrenaline. Dina didn’t hesitate to respond much more roughly and passionately than the first kiss.

Her lips were as delicious as Ellie had anticipated all of that time. They were absolutely intoxicating.

She didn’t know how long they’d been kissing for. She didn’t even realize the time passing around them when Ellie moved forward and pressed harder kisses into Dina’s mouth, Dina’s back hitting the opposite wall of the trunk as their hands seemed to ravage each other.

It took more willpower than she wanted to admit to pull away, but Ellie hardly noticed that the sun had completely disappeared behind the horizon and the colors of the sky had whisked away when she pulled back to take a look at Dina’s flushed, disheveled, breathless face.

The way Dina smiled at her nearly made her faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading. the next chapter will be out soon. again i am so so sorry for the wait! i hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> you can follow my tumblr @lmontyy or lmontyy.tumblr.com. there i post updates on my writing, personal stuff, and i spam with mainly the last of us and she-ra content, with the occasional legend of korra and the walking dead game content, as well. :)
> 
> thank you again! looking forward to thoughts on this.
> 
> much love,  
> monty

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> This is another of the Tumblr requests I received for these two.
> 
> My tumblr handle is @lmontyy, and I take any and all requests, (so long as they're not unreasonable or crazy!) but I'm very easygoing when it comes to writing, and do enjoy writing for others. Any and all questions or inquiries may be directed to my inbox here or on tumblr. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


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